Guest Article: Tattoo You
Things just land on our desk in the V-Bunker. This is one of them. Not really knowing what to do with it, it seemed best to share it with our fellow Velominati. @del loves his cycling and @del gets “misty”. Though I don’t know what that means I hope I never get that misty. I’d have to get highly misty to end up with my first tattoo, beside the greasy chainring tattoo I rarely put on my right calf.
VLVV, Gianni
After a great ride out I conform to the Rules to the best of my ability, however on this one occasion I appear to have misinterpreted these Rules slightly. What should of been Rule #93 seems to have joined forces with Rule #47 resulting in me not conforming to Rule #52. As you can imagine things started to get a little misty, I have always wanted some more ink (tattoo for those not down with the kids) and I have always struggled with what to have done. I didn’t want the normal stuff you see, I wanted it to be bike related.
It was during the misty moment that I had my flash of inspiration. The Rules book caught my eye. That cool orange glow got me. I wanted the V and the cog on my leg. However I wanted to take it one rotation further, so the following day I knew I had to follow Rule #81. I went to my fellow cyclist who also happens to be a tattoo artist and set him this challenge. I explained that my legs were my machines for cycling and that I wanted the V and the orange cog incorporated into the design.
After six hours of me repeating Rule #5 to myself in my head I was done, All I need to say is Rule #72.
@Teocalli
I’m hoping not to be a foreign visitor soon – in the process of getting out of Dubai and coming back to London.
January might be tricky as it will be when I’m packing up and sorting everything out but let me know, and in any event I will be around more.
But yes, definitely not going out if there’s a hint of ice – spending much more time on the trainer these days. Even the wet autumn leaves make me nervous.
@frank
Is that offspring of the one dog in the “On Rule #12: The Bike #1 Paradox” article or did you finally decide to get a real big dog with 42 teeth instead of 53?
“The average adult dog has about a third more teeth than his human counterpart. Adult dogs have 42 permanent teeth compared to a measly 32 average human teeth (not counting any wisdom teeth. Those are “bonus.”). Puppies possess 28 baby teeth while human babies will have 20 deciduous or “baby” teeth.”
Get an opossum, has 50 teeth.
@frank
Dogs better than people. Unconditional love.
@frank
Congrats on the new addition!!!!!
@chuckp
Dogs better than people. Unconditional love.
I’ve yet to meet a dog I’d go cycling with.
I’ve yet to meet a dog that I’d have a malted recovery beverage with.
I’ve yet to meet a dog that I’d go to the Maldives with for a week.
I’ve yet to meet a dog that I, er, ponder about during an interminable meeting at work
Still, whatever floats your boat chuckp, I judge not.
Cheers!
David
@ChrisO
I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I’m genuinely interested. I’ve never had one of your crashes (as I enter my 52nd year) which was both sudden and resulted in significant damage to yourself. As you’re the closest to a pro-rider that I can ask – has that crash really affected you in terms of approach to risk? Without wanting to sound rude, you’re older than teens and guys in their twenties – do you think your age plays a significant factor in accepting risk on a ride (whether winter/ice or high speed/peleton)? Or is it the unexpectedness of it, the lack of ability to control the situation?
I ask because both Wiggins and Froome have been given grief over their downhill skills following falls, and I was wondering if/how you can relate to that.
If you reply “mind your own fucking business!” that’s alright by me – but I’ll ask you again should we ever ride together when you’re back in the UK!
David
@SamV
OK, Manchester is a tad tricky……….
Anyway, rest assured – if we do get together and on the selected day there is a hint ice, then neither I nor Teocalli will be adverse to simply showing you a traditional English pub while Teocalli tells the tale of putting our resident stage racer, ChrisO, in hospital following a mishap with black ice.
As a non-helmet wearer myself, the story is all the more precious because whilst the damage to ChrisO was significant, his head was untouched.
On an unrelated though related note on tattoos and art – 3 days ago I commissioned a tattoo artist who lives in Long Beach, California to do a charcoal drawing of one of my bikes. So to the earlier poster that said tattoos do not equal art I’d like to say ‘artists make art – it’s up to them the medium they choose’. The guy I’m talking to seems equally adept to both charcoal/paper and flesh.
@frank
So my Polynesian sleeve is pro?
@AJ
I don’t know, do you look as badass as Boonen? Or do you just *think* you look as badass as Boonen?
Nice new pup, Frank! Both of ours are adopted strays. Same with our two cats. And our field mouse, which our cats found. I guess the only pets we paid for are the fish! Harder to find those.
With a baby on the way in May…things are about to go from pretty crazy to pure crazy.
@wilburrox
Same dog; he is a rescue and very malnourished and atrophied. We’re looking forward to bringing him back; he’s obviously super athletic but just hasn’t been given the right shot at life.
@frank
Makes me want to get hold of some cortisone after seeing that and reading in David Millar’s book that it eats away fat.
The fact that it also eats away muscle would be something to worry about if any muscle is revealed.
@frank
On the way to the NAHBS in Richmond a few years ago we found a Staffordshire terrier hanging about a gas station, slowly starving to death. The folks in rural VA didn’t seem to mind when we asked around inside. The VMH said, “If she’s there on our way back, we’re taking him home.” And thus, we had a new dog.
Like your new dude, she was so malnourished her spine was exposed. Worse yet, she had a torn ACL, which we got fixed. Nothing like walking a VERY tough looking dog around with a towel under her lower abdomen.
We nourished and rehabbed him, but then he went after one of our cats by instinct. We found her a good home though. Terriers can be great dogs, if raised right.
It’s depressing how poorly we treat animals, from those we keep as pets to those we raise to eat. It makes me angry. If I ever come to power, I’ll make sure that every county in the U.S. has a full-paid vet who travels around fixing all the pets. Not a cure, but a start.
Frank, with all he’s gonna eat, he’s gonna take a big ol’ bite out of the Budgetatus! Tough shite dad, I’m hungry. No new wheels for you!
Beautiful dog though, especially once he fills out. We just gave our two a doggie door, since the VMH got a new job and can no longer go home at lunch. They’re LOVING life being able to go into the backyard whenever they want.
Argh…a few mistakes there. Our terrier was a gal, not a guy. Very sweet, just in her nature to try and chase cats. We’d had them first, so decided to re-home her, which we did.
@Ron
We’ve also got a little Pit mix; coolest dog on the planet. Also a rescue. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, doesn’t chase our cat. Cat comes over to her and pushes her face into hers. Happy family, Sly is showing signs of starting to fit in nicely, but we’ll have to see how it all goes.
@frank
Well I was kinda thinking both the dog and the skinny dude on the bike!! Just jokes. I bet Tom would love to have more cheeseburgers than he does have when he’s looking like that though!
@Ron
Oh man I’m not so sure about that. I can imagine coming back in my next life as a big dog with a good owner and being pretty happy ’bout those circumstances.
Good story: my 11 yr old daughter comes tearing outa the front door, “daddy, daddy, daddy… a puppy… he needs help!!” and scoops up what turns out to be a blind weiner dog bouncing off the curbs in front of our house. Circumstances worked out that she took it up to local dog park and it now has owners that, this is the honest to gods truth, 1) had just moved to town and 2) wanted another weiner dog and 3) had just been discussing together that they would be willing to take a special needs dog. The goofy little mutt now has it’s own instagram page. And when they’re on vacation it stays with us. A blind weiner dog. Never had eyesight. Doesn’t even know it’s blind. Go figure.
@frank
Sly looks like a cool chap. Since I got my dog a few months back I’m finding I ride my bike a little less and walk him more.
Meet Mavic. I’ve gone for all orange but Sly’s black with orange detailing is good too.
@wilburrox
Now imagine coming back as a big pig stuck in a crate.
@brett
Or even worse, an Aussie.
JohnB, awesome dog, great photo!
My velodoggies get two walks a day, plus they now have a dog door and a 1 acre back yard (we live in the city, so that is a pretty nice yard!). If I can’t fit in a proper walk, I run them around the block by bike, two laps. Tires them out. As much as I love riding, and as much as I’m going to get bashed for admitting…a long walk in the woods with the VMH and doggies is pretty darn fun and I might even give up a ride for it.
Frank – oh yeah, pit mixes are great dogs. Ours just happened to have prey drive. Sadly, where I live most are used as intimidators and the people are either a) happy to have them aggressive b) provoke them into being aggressive.
Class Tattoo @del
@frank
{ I think } I was moderated today
Goodbye
Goodbye all you people
There’s nothing more to say
No need to change
My mind
Goodbye.
@frank
Neither. I just have a sweet tattoo and a stubbly beard to match one of my idols.
@universo
You were not moderated to my feverish recollection, my friend….
@frank
But does Sly have a tattoo yet? When I took my cat in for his I thought I’d get to choose something more exciting than a number…
@frank
You mean a pig stuck in an Aussie?
@Harminator
This conversation is going to dark, dark places…
@davidlhill
Just to say I’m not ignoring your question and happy to answer. I’ve just been travelling and at a conference so haven’t had time.
I’ll send you a PM as soon as I have a chance.
@JohnB
Is that a vizsla? Great dogs for sure! Best dog I ever had was a one-eyed vizsla when I was a teenager. That dog hardly ever left my side. Slept outside my bedroom door every night. I’ve been sad to lose pets before, but never so much as when we lost that one.
@ChrisO
no problem – I realise my question is a tad personal so thanks for taking the time.
Cheers,
David
@Harminator
I’m not sure, but the one on the left is the spitting image of @brett.
@KW
Yep, a 9 month old Vizsla dog, my first one, hoping to get a 2nd when he’s a year old. The breed has been likened by the vet to a Weimaraner on speed but as you know intelligent, loyal and constantly by your side. An awesome companion.
@JohnB
Lotsa comments. Lotsa piss taken and given. Don’t know if I was the first to be a dick, but I was the first to say DICK.
Love tats, would ride with anyone mit or sans. Certainly not my test for riding mit. I merely commented on said content of said tat as I thought and think it was rather, um, poor. Your opinion, my opinion. Used my name, so there. If you like it cool, but I’m COMMENTING, and shamelessly. If yer thin-skinned, that’s okay. Feel free to make comments about me when I put myself out there for you to comment on and I won’t mind because I HTFU many moons ago. Jeez, cain’t we all just not get along? Or, in the immortal words of William Hurt’s character in The Big Chill, “I’m just trying to keep the conversation lively!”
Any dogs with tattoos ??
On Rule #65 and dogs: when the bearings start to go, the noise is too high pitched for humans to hear but it’s like a dog whistle so if you’re being chased by dogs it’s a warning sign to have a look at your bearings!
@Frank
We’re going to the shelter tomorrow to look for a possible companion for our dog, Cooper (a rescue Jack Russell/Beagle mix). He lost his best friend/big sister, Zoe, this summer (a rescue Husky/Weimaranar/Beagle/??? mix) when she suddenly and unexpectedly got really sick. We ended up having to put Zoe down to put her out of her suffering. Turns out she was bleeding internally and our vet thinks she was somehow poisoned. :-( Most of the dos at the shelter are some sort of pit bull-like mix. If one of them gets along well with Cooper (he gets along well with everyone), we may have ourselves a new member of the family. No tattoos though. :-)
@universo
you asked for it: https://andyfeehan.wordpress.com/51-2/
and it´s just appropriate since we also had pigs in the thread. not that i follow such things, i just happened to fin it somewhwer on the intewebs. no pigs or dogs in my family, just a cat and even she has no tattoos.
@kixsand
What a beast!!
Good dog.
@KogaLover
This is either the greatest advice ever or the greatest pisstake ever. I love it nonetheless.
@chuckp
Pits are the best. We had a pit mix Mack who was the greatest dog ever (some amount of German Shepard was in there too) and he sold us on “bully breeds”, which is part of the reason we decided to rescue a Dobie. Evie (the pit – but she’s also part greyhound, fast as hell and muscular as shit) is the most social and loveable dog and we like the idea of trying to help break breed stereotypes.
Go with the pittie, you can’t go wrong so long as you aren’t an asshole and raise your dog in a way that makes it an asshole, too.
@frank
I’m not anti-pit bull. No bad dogs, just bad owners. We’ll see how Cooper gets along and vice-versa tomorrow. I may be posting a new dog pic tomorrow.
P.S. Love your Dobie rescue.
@universo
Our dog and our cats all have tattoos. All from the humane society and each with a number and a heart on the inside of the ear. A woman I know got the same number and heart as her dog tattooed just behind her own human ear, which was pretty damn cool.
re: moderation- no way, you will know it when it happens. You would be surprised how fucking far one has to go to get moderated here. First you would get a few warnings, a few time outs, then maybe a light moderation and a spanking. It must have been a computer hitch.
In my memory, two people have been actually cut off and they were way way out of line, repeatedly.
How did this thread go from Hepatitis C spreading tattoos into a thread about dangerous animals?
@Gianni
Ooooh … a spanking … behave!
@Chipomarc
Well played sir, well played. Rule #43 is strong in this post.
@frank
HEY. Congrats on the n+DOG! Fucking awesome.
(I’m especially feeling your love because the little badass tomcat we just took in is rocking it pretty hard. He’s giving zero fucks about our old GSD.)
@Oli
Hey hey hey!!!! I’m all for you Oli but leave walk shorts out of this. They are my sacred right and stylistic natural inheritance given my massive calves and lack of fucks to give about people who think slacks are acceptable.
Though this has strayed far afield, it appears posts on how one looks garner the most activity. This is my humble observation (i.e a cursory view of the data with a rapid jump to conclusions).