The Prophet’s Prayer

The Ancients dedicated a Velomiskrit prayer to the Prophet, who cast into the rock of Mount Velomis, The Rules.

It is customary for a Velominatus to repeat this prayer prior to embarking on each ride in order to ensure safe passage and laying down of The V. The prayer should be closed by a moment of silence and flashing the Secret Sign of the Merckx.

The Prophet’s Prayer

Our hardman who art in Belgium
Eddy be thy name
Thy cobbles come, thy hands are numb
From pavé
As it isn’t heaven.

Give us this day our daily V,
And forgive us our Rule violations,
As we drop those who attack against us,
Lead us not off our line
But deliver us from Anti-V.

For thine is the big ring,
And the power, and the glory,
For Eddy and ever.

A-Merckx.

24 Replies to “The Prophet’s Prayer”

  1. Holy shit.  My head just exploded with the awesomeness.  Someone give me a glass of frakkin’ cool-aid.

  2. 1969 Tour de France Podium presentation Points Jersey. Signed by the deity that won said competition, The Prophet.

    Cafe Roubaix’s most recent acquisition. Merckx be praised.

  3. @Dan_R

    1969 Tour de France Podium presentation Points Jersey. Signed by the deity that won said competition, The Prophet.

    Cafe Roubaix’s most recent acquisition. Merckx be praised.

    O!  I think I just soiled myself….congratulations on a stunning addition to the collection!

  4. Wait, is that signed by Merckx?

    I know it’s a signature & it’s on a jersey, but I really can’t make out an M or an E or a K or an X.

    Oh well, cool jersey Dan!! Now you can go on club rides in style…

  5. @Ron Yeah Ron. Pretty awesome. This will be made into a proper alter/hommage in the studio. The provenance of the signature is super reliable. Within the industry in Canada, my source for this and a few other super sweet bits, was a Campagnolo GM answering to Felice Gimnodi when he was at Campagnolo!

  6. I will continue to pray to Jesus. He got me through the rest. I don’t think a guy from Beligum is going to trump that.

  7. Eddy, Hampsten, Roche, Cancellara, Boonen, et al…we aspire to dream your toughness.

    Ride on!!!

  8. My apologies. I read this again and by no means was any disrespect intended. I think its great what the Velominati represent and contrary to my previous statement do have a grand respect for the great Eddy Merckx. What that would have said minus a lot of alcohol is, pretty awesome however just saying I wouldn’t be alive to ride another day without Jesus, so for me that prayer will always come first. with that I hope my apology is excepted just needed a hard ass ride to clear my thoughts. Been a rough Winter with not enough rides.

  9. @Thomas Pray to whoever you like, only you know what/who has guided you on your particular journey.  Just keep riding!

  10. Hardman Prayer – Glory to the V

    Lo there do I see Eddie.  Lo there do I see Andy, Tomkie, and Jensie.  Lo there do I see the line of Hardmen back to the beginning.  They do bid me to HTFU and take my place amoung them in the halls of the V.  Where the Hardmen may Five and Dime forever.

  11. @Ron

    @Ron

    Wait, is that signed by Merckx?

    I know it’s a signature & it’s on a jersey, but I really can’t make out an M or an E or a K or an X.

    Oh well, cool jersey Dan!! Now you can go on club rides in style…

    That would be in direct violation of Rule #16

  12. An alternative (Crank of England?) that I crafted some time ago.

    “The Cyclist’s Prayer”:

    Our Bike, which art on Road, Hollowed be thine crank.Thy Frame carbon. Thy wheel be round on Road, As it is in Shop.

    Give us this day our daily sweat.

    And forgive us our climbing curses,As we forgive those that pass us uphill. And lead us not into potholes, But deliver us from Diesel.

    For thine is the Carbon,The powermeter, and the Garmin, For ever and ever. Allez

     

  13. If Eddy rode steel, that is all we need. Not another blacked out carbon everything.

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