The 2013 Anti-V Award

Roubaix photo-Jakob Kristian Sørensen
Roubaix photo-Jakob Kristian Sørensen

We reflect on another year of cycling; who has been naughty and who has been nice. The rusty chain award used to go to the biggest tool of the year but that has been folded into the Anti-V award. In years past the rusty chain award usually went to the present day dopers. Multi-year winners like Danilo “triple threat” Di Luca would now be eligible for the Anti-V award. To finally earn a lifetime suspension which should have been issued after his last infraction, that is something. To bring down a whole team because of his cretino behavior, that’s impressive. How many riders, coaches and support staff on Vini-Fantini Selle Italia lose a living because of his bad brain? But really, enough of him and his 2013 doping colleagues, let us leave them behind.

For those who did not read the Freddy Maertens recent interview, please do so before 2013 expires. It’s important to be reminded how tough he and his competitors were. They were racing more and being paid much much less. We have to admire how much Rule #5 was fueled on passion alone. This brings us to another personality in the running this year, Abandy Schleck.

We cannot criticize an injured rider. One can only compete at the professional level with mind and body working in harmony. Abandy seems to be suffering on both sides of the equation. We can criticize him for his lack of professionalism before he was injured. If you are a terrible time trialist and you want to win a stage race that might include time trials, you really should be working at that, even if it slows your awesome climbing talent. Contador was an impressive stage racer when he beat Cancellara in a TdF TT. Ha! When Freddy says today’s pros are paid too much and are too soft, he was winking at the interviewer and using international sign language to spell out “Abandy”.

Specialized threw itself in the running with it’s abysmal treatment of Dan Richter and Café Roubaix Bicycle Studio. CEO Mike Sinyard pulled Specialized out of the top spot for the Anti-V award with a personal apology to Dan and a promise to do business differently in the future. We take people at their word, let’s move on.

What really made us crazy was the notion that corporations have some legal rights to stop anyone to using the word Roubaix. Roubaix is a town in which the world’s most awesome velodrome decides the world’s most awesome bike race. Trek has a trademark on Alpe d’Huez and Specialized (and Fuji) have one for Roubaix? How clever of you. Well, keep it to yourself, leave the cycling community out of it. Cyclists made these places iconic, not lawyers so if want to have a slap fight over trademarks, do it in the privacy of your law offices. If you would like to do this in public, please make your argument in a bar in Northern France, in early April. You are not welcome to ride the secteurs of Roubaix on two wheels. Piss off. And yes, trademark lawyers, We are looking at you, you have earned both our incredulity and the 2013 Anti-V award.

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75 Replies to “The 2013 Anti-V Award”

  1. @unversio

    A good day gentlemen!

    Here, too! Just back from a few hours out with the VMH on one of our fav rides, and my calorie app has told me that I have three thousand cal’s left on the ledger for January the First! Plenty of room for IPA and ribs. The perfect start to the year. Cheers!

  2. @crucible

    I’m amazed that someone who is so amazing has the patience to sit around with us idiots and bicker. Very insightful of you that you’ve been able to discern the fact that doping is a problem. Chapeau!

    Also, you’re on the internet arguing with strangers FYI.

  3. @the Engine

    Catching up on my reading – looks like 2014 has started well in the Halls of the Velominati

    “We come from the land of the ice and snow,
    From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.”

  4. Probably not a contender for the anti V award but he had a sucky year I stumbled across this picture which just about captures it all!

  5. An early contender for the 2014 Anti-V moment of the year…I don’t care how badly you need to manage your core temperature when time trialling – it should never include that much mesh.

  6. @VeloVita

    An early contender for the 2014 Anti-V moment of the year…I don’t care how badly you need to manage your core temperature when time trialling – it should never include that much mesh.

    I just need to step into the bathroom to be violently ill.

  7. @frank

    @PeakInTwoYears

    for an idea of what a power band they were, check out their version from the BBC Sessions.

    They hit in like a ton of bricks and build from there.

    Honestly. They nailed the “live version” tempo didn’t they?

  8. @VeloVita   I may need to go and be sick again.  I’ve just thought that what the pros wear today is on the street tomorrow – does not bear thinking about seeing copious amounts of white flesh trussed up like a lumpy bunch of Oranges in a string net.

  9. @VeloVita

    An early contender for the 2014 Anti-V moment of the year…I don’t care how badly you need to manage your core temperature when time trialling – it should never include that much mesh.

    I’m sorry, that’s not cycling kit – it’s friggin’ lingerie. Most definitely not for sale to the general public- please!

  10. What in the fuck?! That link to Froome…the side banner has some anime porn add, just below the R&A Cycles advert. Hmm, I don’t like that one bit. Nor do I like that skinsuit. Eck.

    Wow, one again it is demonstrated that this place is my one-stop-news destination. I just read about LeDuc in the local NC paper. And here are ya’ll talking about it. Damn.

    Also, it seems like the nuts pay us a visit twice a year, once at the start when winter is getting us Northerners down, and then at TdF time. They start arguing about something that has likely been discussed, they’re whiny and bitchy about it, they get all worked up, then they disappear. What a waste of time, energy, and keystrokes.

  11. @VeloVita

    An early contender for the 2014 Anti-V moment of the year…I don’t care how badly you need to manage your core temperature when time trialling – it should never include that much mesh.

    I am glad I wasn’t the only one weirded out by the mesh skin suit…

  12. @Puffy Not to call you out, but your seem to want an answer of the “why” on the company name and the branding of our rims. Needless to say, all and every issue that arose between the three businesses in regards to the use of “Roubaix” are all put to bed. Any and all issues were sorted out before Mike & I sat down to talk about things.

    Let’s just say, YOU @Puffy, do not have the whole picture, and most reporting was fairly accurate, but after that, that is all you really need to know. We meet up at a Cogal sometime and maybe the subject comes up over some hops & barley…

    @Tobin Yup, we’ll all be sporting fishnet teddies in the near future just like our heros…shudder

    @frank

    @crucible

    I’m amazed that someone who is so amazing has the patience to sit around with us idiots and bicker. Very insightful of you that you’ve been able to discern the fact that doping is a problem. Chapeau!

    Also, you’re on the internet arguing with strangers FYI.

    @crucible  What Frank said. Oh, and a few of us are pretty open with any credentials, especially when adding to a post or writing an article. I’d suggest you put together something for an article on our hallowed website. @Gianni does a great job helping some of the guest authors putting together coherent contributions.

    Happy 2014, put some deposits in to the pain cave early today, Spring comes soon enough.

  13. @Ron

    What in the fuck?! That link to Froome…the side banner has some anime porn add, just below the R&A Cycles advert. Hmm, I don’t like that one bit.

    Actually, I think you do – aren’t the banner ads a direct result of Google tracking what sites you tend to visit?  Just saying…

  14. @ChrisO

    I used to think that legalising doping would be the solution – and at that level I think it would work. Make the teams and doctors liable to the athletes for every drug they give them. Teams would have to include liability in their insurance and if we think patent attorneys are dicks, insurance lawyers are the Biggest Dicks in Dicklands. the whole thing would implode the first time a team was sued for killing a rider with EPO and it would be the crazy risk-averse insurance companies we would have to thank.

    unfortunately the problem I have come to realise with not at least trying to fight doping, however imperfectly, is the people outside the official and regulated circles. The people in local and age group races who will feel the pressure and invitation to dope but without proper medical advice and supervision. There are already people in lower level racing taking GW 50156 which by all accounts is almost guaranteed to cause cancer. How does your proposed scenario address the issue of relatively widespread unsupervised self-prescribed doping ?

    I would also take issue with the examples you give. I think there is a reasonable line to be drawn between procedures to restore function caused by injury or abnormality and seeking to enhance and improve on normal function. It’s not easy to write it down and codify it but just because there are some grey areas doesn’t mean we should abandon it entirely. Sports have rules and finding a way around them is cheating – it’s not that difficult.

    The answer is clear. Not legalization. Mandatory use. Player’s choice of substance; a completely uninsured, uncontained wasteland of drugs. Boonen, coked to the hilt,riding off the front, screaming at spectators. Tract marked, steel muscled sprinters. Climbers literally swollen with large amounts of additional hemoglobin.  Hopefully amateurs, collegiates et al race clean to save themselves from the massive amounts of damage the drugs are going to do them when they turn pro.

    I’ve been proposing this for baseball for years. Why won’t anyone else see the light…?

  15. I’d like to nominate a friend of mine who bought and built up a beautiful Veloforma CX bike but failed to appear at even one cyclocross race all season (leisurely long distance Sunday afternoon gravel rides in Minnesota don’t count).

    I also nominate the sorry bastards who frequent this site way too frequently when they should be riding their bikes like Jim does 365 days a year (always in the dark).

    I also nominate myself for not riding my #1 road bike until late October and only then realizing that it’s almost as much fun as riding a mountain bike (poorly) all Summer.

  16. I’m impressed by anyone that can ride that well on drugs.  When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike…

  17. @BobcatChris

    I’m impressed by anyone that can ride that well on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike…

    You ought to credit Willie Nelson for the quote.

  18. @G’rilla

    I’d like to nominate a friend of mine who bought and built up a beautiful Veloforma CX bike but failed to appear at even one cyclocross race all season (leisurely long distance Sunday afternoon gravel rides in Minnesota don’t count).

    I also nominate the sorry bastards who frequent this site way too frequently when they should be riding their bikes like Jim does 365 days a year (always in the dark).

    I also nominate myself for not riding my #1 road bike until late October and only then realizing that it’s almost as much fun as riding a mountain bike (poorly) all Summer.

    You left off the part where your competitive goal was not getting lapped.

    And point well taken on the CX racing season. I’ll correct the problem and beat you soundly next season.

  19. @Teocalli

    @VeloVita I may need to go and be sick again. I’ve just thought that what the pros wear today is on the street tomorrow – does not bear thinking about seeing copious amounts of white flesh trussed up like a lumpy bunch of Oranges in a string net.

    I cannot imagine a more disturbingly accurate depiction.  And I don’t want to.

  20. @wiscot

    @VeloVita

    An early contender for the 2014 Anti-V moment of the year…I don’t care how badly you need to manage your core temperature when time trialling – it should never include that much mesh.

    I’m sorry, that’s not cycling kit – it’s friggin’ lingerie. Most definitely not for sale to the general public- please!

    First the sumo thing, and then this!  What is wrong with these people?

  21. @Chris

    @Geraint The Big S certainly hasn’t changed it’s spots.

    Some earlier thoughts on the subject can be found in the Bikes Section.

    Just found that, Chris, thanks. Sorry for the duplicate post.

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