On Rule #28: The Case for Black Socks
[rule number=28/]
Science has proven that people who wear crazy socks are smarter than those boring snooze factories who wear simple plain socks. I know the data supporting the claims is legitimate because I read it on LinkedIn. Also, when I say “read”, I mean that I glanced briefly at the title while simultaneously performing several other critical activities like checking YouTube for videos of uncoordinated animals and what the weather is like on Mars.
Rule #28 stands out amongst the others as a particularly vague swan for the reasons outlined in the above article, which I assume are that in a world of limited and regimented acceptable conventions in gender style choices, socks present an opportunity to fly our Freak Flag and throw in a few pieces of flair without upsetting the boss, partner, or parents. Even though every Velominatus, the most dedicated and elite of the Cycling Aesthetes, holds white socks in the highest regard, there should always be room for other choices within the Cyclist’s daily style program.
Despite the implication on my intelligence, my own sock choice is rather understated and dictated in part by the employment of the Orange Damsels – my beloved custom orange patent-leather Bont Vaypors. These shoes already make a bit of a statement themselves, so my sock choice needs to be solid and carefully coordinated in order to avoid a conflict between my ankle and foot decorum. For instance, the orange hi-vis DeFeets I ride on the road in bad weather don’t quite match the orange of my shoes, pulling the choke on the ol’ OCD engine. I have therefore allowed myself to wear socks in any color so long as they are either black or white.
The case for white socks is already clear and does not need to be revisited. The case for black socks, however, begins with the principles laid out by Rule #8, wherein the colors of satellite components should normally be matched to their nearest adjacent contact point on the frame. It then follows by extension that the same is true for kit: assuming the mandatory black bibs, black socks bridge the gap between them and whatever shoes you might be wearing. Much like matching the cuffs to the collars, matching the socks to the bibs to black provides a uniform platform from which to build your style program.
Go bold with the choice of socks if you must, but remember to always keep it classy. And, if in doubt, build a solid foundation of color from which to build.
Funniest post – and comments!! – on the V-site in ages. Excellent rabbit hole for Friday procrastination.
FWIW:
White socks with Detto Pietros.
Black socks with anything and everything else.
@chuckp
Is that bike lying down? Is it wounded?
@wiscot
Thanks;not really a hill as such more a long ramp.
@Gianni
Might have to try the white socks then(maybe).
As for coloured socks have some of these for winter;
https://this-is-cambridge.com/shop/socks/omloop-merino-winter-socks/
Might get some of their summer ones too.
@Haldy
Looks like those TIC ones mixed up! Nice.
Captions disappeared!
1) Winners wear white socks. Fact.
2) White socks will make you go faster than Team Sky. Fact.
3) Chicks dig guys in white socks. Fact.
@Nik_L
1 – almost look like V-socks
3 – what has he got in his hand, almost looks like he was on his way to dope testing when he was dragged onto the podium!
@Steampunk
…and credibility goes to zero.
@Nik_L
And, apparently, gets you the girl. I always loved those lightweights with the white spokes/rim strip. Very cool look.
@chuckp
‘Tis adorable the way you hold your footsies together like that, sonny jim.
@Canucklehead
But that still doesn’t mean you can pull that off. That is some serious action there. One needs to OWN the sock game to bring that shit.
@MtnGoat
I would say the bibs drooped over the pants is very Pro; Alpine racers have been doing it for eons.
@frank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XzFNLJIpUQ
You must shop at the same place as these guys.
@RM2RIDE
Just taking a rest after a ride.
@frank
Oh good: I guess that makes me a Seattle-based Keeper, then.
@Rick
Those dudes could climb!
@Steampunk
Must have been the socks!
@Haldy
Just… fucking… NO.
@brett
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6cxNR9ML8k
The more Brett says “no” the more I want to say “yes”.
Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!
@Oli
@Oli
We don’t judge around here!
@frank
We don’t??!! Wait..I thought that was the whole point….?
I’ve been away for a few weeks, WTF has happened?
@Haldy
Well, we do, but not about that stuff.
@frank
Fair enough point, and I agree. I meant more in general.
Long time lurker but this post and all the accompanying images are making me feel a bit queasy. Socks should be white and shoes should be white.
@Jamie Maidment
Only a bit queasy? I have just spent the last hour cleaning the bathroom after vomiting all over the place.
What is it with cycling becoming golf? Have we all become blind?
Crazy socks and crazy kit need to be banned. In a few years time there will be a lot of people looking back at photos and saying “Why did I wear pyjamas on the bike?”
Unless your age starts with the number 1, in which case you can be excused through lack of knowledge/experience, it is time to leave the pyjamas in the bedroom.