The Keepers
Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives. While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.
All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in. We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.
A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric. This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.
I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.
– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend
Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case. After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.
The Keepers:
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The Community:
Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:
Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.
Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.
Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.
Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.
Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.
Conduct:
We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.
Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.
Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.
*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.
@Gdog
Frank? Frank, is that you? Man, stay out of those coffee shops – the brownies aren’t what you’re used to mate.
@Calmante
True enough, but she’s still on the page, no?
@Gorgo
These are the tatt’s to go for!
@Gdog
I’m sorry it came across as nasty, I meant that it’s a bit of fun, light hearted. There was a good clip someone posted this week from Pirates of the Caribean regarding the Pirate Code, “more like guidelines than rules”.
I’ll stop trying to be funny and humbly apologise.
I should have just said “Welcome, whatever gets you out on your bike.”
@sthilzy
+1
Awesome.
There is a man dedicated to his craft.
Snooov, only pulling your socks me bruvva. Hide like a rhino, ride like a wino. Anyone travelling down South to Single Speed World Champs? http://www.sswc2012.co.za
@mouse
I love a hoop girl. Fell in love with them when I saw KK Juggy “do” the hoops as support while the singer of Machine Gun Felatio stripped naked.
@Fat Mexican
I love a hoop girl. Fell in love with them when I saw KK Juggy “do” the hoops as support while the singer of Machine Gun Felatio stripped naked.
Such a shame MCF had to split up. KK is still preforming occasionally though….
@Mikael Liddy
So much so that prior to performing tattoo removals you might hear “you sure? this is permanent”.
\\ nom de plume Vin’cenza. Yes, I finally stopped spitting up blood!
All this talk about tattoos is crazy.
@Marko
Socks are still too high. (nice ink though!!!)
very nice way to commemorate the trip. I hope your not getting to much sun on it at this early healing stage.
Those are my Rule #6 socks.
@Marko
Did you get that done by a guy in a minivan?
@Marko
Its like Rule #5, but one louder.
And your socks are too tall.
@Marko
Sweet shoes!
After spending some time reviewing the entire list of Rules, only 59 and 86 truly held real importance. Obliging the Rules, while a dutiful task for some, serve only to affirm what experienced cyclist already know or in turn heaps contempt towards new cyclist — it talks down to people. The Keepers have placed much value on the Rules, and so I apologize for rubbing them (the Elite) the wrong way. The Keepers and the Rules focus much on posturing and what it means to become “hard” as a cyclist. True cyclist don’t need to hear it by the Keepers. Determination and excellence with the rider lives on the bike and by the bike. Cycling experience is meaningful when it is earned, not fussed over. So after spending too much time on the Velominati (blog) website, I have realized that it consumes too much, says too much, craps out too much, and takes too much to read some of the screwed up contributions — nonsense.
I did absorb the wisdom that some offered. There was not enough to follow.
And to Frank Strack’s credit, I had to acknowledge that “Obey the Rules” was genius. And he made the effort not too long ago to launch Velominati June 29, 2009.
Thanx Frank!
“The reason I started the blog is partly because I love writing about cycling, but I am also hoping to find other people who enjoy it and want to contribute as well. Topics could cover local racing, pro racing, Pacific Northwest cycling routes, technique, bicycle maintenance, gear reviews, or something cool I haven’t thought of. So, I am inviting anyone who enjoys cycling and writing to become a contributor and help make the voice of this new blog.”
@Campagnolo Vince!
This is such a fine post, I’m really glad you posted it three times.
I’m hear to voice a complaint about the site design…
Can we get rid of the whole links opening in a frame thing? Or even just so that you can “View original” or whatever on more than one link? When you open a second it overrides the first. I am known for using too many tabs in general though.
@Steampunk
Appreciate that you caught it three times — did you read it ??? All this is coming from my serious seriousness chapter of cycling. This is where I am — getting the best from cycling. Don’t take it personally, it’s just good business — on the bike.
@Campagnolo Vince!
I did read it. All three times. This was my favourite one. Most of the time, though, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
@Marko
Nice one, Marko. Hope they come up with something equally cool for next years KT.
@Steampunk
I’ll give you that. Not really talking, but venting at times. I do use English though.
@Campagnolo Vince!
Kind of. Sporadically. The words are English, but sometimes the sentence structure isn’t quite.
@Marko
That tat is full of win!
@Campagnolo Vince!
I actually have no idea what you’re getting at, but I think you’ve figured out that Velominati serves little purpose other than to try, mostly through being childish (i.e. having fun), to enhance people’s passion for the bike and and get out to ride more.
I respect your opinion and position and remind you that you are not contractually bound or obligated in any way to come here often – or at all. You are free to enjoy this site however you like, with The Rules, without them, or simply by not coming here. Whatever motivates you to get on the bike is fine with me.
As pertains to your already-dismissed Rule #43 per the above, if you do choose to stick around (which it appears you have and based on this post this fact befuddles my tiny brain), you should make every effort to use your sense of humour and not lash out at people making really funny jokes at your Rule-breaking expense. Its pretty much what we do here.
All was straightened out perfectly (derailleur hanger). I did maximize the boiling point of this forum to speak my troubled mind, and appreciate your willingness to tolerate a different opinion. To your credit, there is much more happening here than buf’foonery. I will wear the jackass vest today — today only. And… shut up — now.
@frank
\\ Forget about it!
@frank
Yay, I made a funny!
Honestly though Vince, I wasn’t bothered by your reply as I just assumed you were playing along.
@Campagnolo Vince!
Get your hand off it Vince.
You’ll ruin your eyesight.
I’ve just had a thought – is @Campagnolo Vince! actually a Turing Machine?
@Marcus
\\Thanx. Marcus has been known to adopt a contrary stance to his own just to start or continue an argument — and he is on form. Take his advice and wisdom.
I’m in….loving the rules….may have to address some of them as I am probably breaking them…plus..I’m a triathlete….guess that’s a big fat no no as well………?
Best rule….n+1….superb!!!
A picture of moi……with my P&J…..
@Littlefill
Welcome velowan. We don’t run here. Or swim. Triathlon is like an inverted shit sandwich, IMHO.
Anyhow…Start with Rule #1. And get yourself some socks. Really.
Thanks Harminator……like I said, i thought there would be a few rules that I’ve broken….
as for the socks…well to be honest i haven’t got time to put them on….
will revise all rules and adhere to them the best I can…..
@Littlefill
Welcome, if you’re getting out on your bike lots, you can comply with The Rules as you go.
@Littlefill
As long as that particular endeavour started with a fat man holding onto the back of your saddle and not in a pond then there’s no real damage done.
I’ve been reading this during the last week and have found myself trialing some of the aero hints on my rad bike and it’s amazing how the slightest adjustment can make quite a significant difference.
Only downside is that between that, the fact that my sensei is a tester and I’m only a warm up ride from my local club ten mile course, I’m rapidly managing to convince myself that I need a TT bike. (I wouldn’t want to contravene Rule #54 after all)
@DerHoggz
One other comment, if you are willing to indulge, @frank:
In the V-Mobile site, it would be great if selecting a comment in the ‘Post’ tab took you directly to said post instead of the top of the article.
It would also be cool if there was a way to jump directly to the bottom of a page from the top (still talking V-Mobile site here). The energy expended shaving the guns on race day is nothing compared to the energy expended trying to scroll to the bottom of a page like The Rules.
So, ok, that was two comments.
@Littlefill
Oh my. At least you aren’t sporting a banana hammock. And your jersey has sleeves. Sartorial good sense, that. And I see no evidence of the tri-ubiquitous earbuds playing Yanni or Slayer or whatever it takes to kill the boredom of never riding in a peloton. You clearly carry the Velominatus gene. Welcome.
@Flying Crowbar
Ok, so apparently those little arrows on the right side mean something. Never mind on that first comment.
@Marko
Nice ink. But what’s with the mini-pump attached to your bike? Flagrant foul. I see some hill repeats in your very near future. And a public apology. And some more hill repeats.
@Marko
But I give you mad props for big ring riding on your cyclocross tires.
@frank
Frank hates me.
IT’S NOT AB(YOU)T.@Campagnolo Vince!
Stop me from starting to emulate Tony Clifton or Andy Kaufman.
versiÅ (Italian) — to turn or change. In the end — Obey The Rules.
When I grow up, I wanna be a Keeper. Or Tony Clifton.
Or Sean Kelly