The Keepers
Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives. While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.
All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in. We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.
A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric. This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.
I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.
– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend
Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case. After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.
The Keepers:
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The Community:
Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:
Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.
Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.
Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.
Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.
Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.
Conduct:
We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.
Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.
Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.
*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.
@packfiller
Tony! “Okay…bullshit…bullshit…My line! Bullshit…bullshit…My line! Aaaagh! (Throws script into the air) THAT’S HILARIOUS! THAT IS HILARIOUS!!” I don’t know about the second position there packfiller?
Can’t say I ever got into Andy Kaufman.
@Xyverz
Not sure anyone did. It was just an association at the time (here) when the Velominati was not sure who versio was — AKA Campagnolo Vince. Then Tony Clifton came out. “Crap! That’s all I can say.”
Is Brett drunk and posting stuff on Facebook?
Chaps, you’ve said that proofing corrections are welcome, so here’s one from this very page (‘about’).
It should be:
a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity
Cheers,
Guy
Frank
I had been antisipating the arrival of my decals packs, which duly arrived yesterday.
i was not disappointed. My next problem was the placement of the decals this took a further 2 hours of small bits of masking tape.
I now proudly display my allegiance to the English branch of the order of the V
love the site and articles keep up the good work
Road Ronin
@steve
Hmmm, is your bike heavily camouflaged? It seems quite difficult to see…
Velominatus,
I am a first time poster – short time voyeur of your site and enjoying it very much! I am looking for some advice on what to say to people in my office when they comment on my cycling attire. I am most definitely tftc being 18 st and possibly bear a slight resemblance to Dafydd (from little Britan) when in my clobber but still I am doing something about it while they sit on their arse. I would like to put them in their place and I feel this may be a creative hotbed of witty retorts.
Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Billy
@Billy Scott
Yep! It’s a great place to be at Velominati! Hang around, enjoy the banter and join in!
What to say to to office people about the attire? “I’m fucking Rule compliant, mainly Rule #5 you fucktards!”
As for the Dafydd references, there’s the standard “I’m two months away from peaking, fucktards”
Seriously, set a realistic goal for a ride/event and weight control.
Find a organized ride event in a few months enter in it and build up to it step by step. Complete the event and you’ll be more than satisfied with your efforts.
As long as you love riding, who cares what others think. When I’m driving to work and a see a granny on a Raleigh Twenty riding to the shops – respect, she’s riding and I’m driving!
Also, mountain bike kit can blend in a bit more than road attire, and is fine for commuting. Might sometimes be a bit better, since it’s more durable. Also, if you need to stop off on the way home, (pub/supermarket/mistress) I feel like less of a spanner in baggy shorts etc than nowhere to hide lycra.
@Billy Scott I love your kit, but lose the shinguards please – they aren’t Rules compliant.
@sthilzy I have recently started doing rather than talking about doing and signed myself up for numerous things that are way out of my comfort zone – Rob Roy Challenge and Loch Ness Marathon. I am really enjoying the cycling but the anti-v’s are getting in the way!
The referenced article is a great read but the figures are just too small for me! I know the theory is the same but it would be good to know it can be done from a higher starting point. Any other Velominatus out there that started about 115kg and have made it to a fighting weight?? I would prefer to do it using natural foodstuffs rather than supplements but at the end of the day whatever works…
@minion
Nothing worse than seeing your mistress whilst wearing lycra…
@Jeff in PetroMetro
I think this makes at least two Founders with pumps on their DTs. Are we undergoing a lifestyle change? Or, are the Lezyne pumps just so damn nice that they’re breaking Rules one hidden hose at a time?
@Billy Scott
I crashed weight off last year on one of those low carb diets (Lighter Life if you must know) – 127kgs down to 107kgs – the weight’s still coming off gradually or staying stable through regular cycling. Last winter I did circuits and boxing from the end of October as I don’t like turbo training and I was ok when I got back on the road at the end of Feb.
I may look quite pro now but no-one pays me for this so I have to keep the day job as a priority. I’ve scheduled an event a month from March to October and that’s been enough thus far to hold my interest without overdoing it.
One other top tip – as I recover from my back injury I now understand that doing regular flexibility work matters – I’d stopped aikido and karate for the summer to get more time on the bike but the reduction in movement has made me prone to injury so when I get back from holiday I’ll be back at the dojo.
And finally the quality of writing and help on this site is far and away better than the stuff you get from the fannies at some other well know cycling publications. Once you’ve made a few contributions, learned some proper swear words and endured the comments on schoolboy howlers (like how to wear a hat) – you’ll never look back and your guns will be mighty.
@the Engine Good effort on the weight loss!
I had been doing well at the no bread diet but my irish genes have pulled me back onto it again! Must try harder and focus on Rule #5!
I play a lot of squash and need to be fairly flexible for this also so will find a manly yoga class or something for that.
Good to know it can be done!
To paraphrase the Hope of a Nation (Wiggins)… I’d say they are just fucking wankers. I can’t be dealing with people like that, it justifies their own bone idleness. Rather than getting off their arses and doing something with their lives it’s easier for them to sit in their chairs talking shit. C**ts.
…Obviously, it’s workplace dependent to a degree – if you’re a motor mechanic, you’re golden but don’t try to pull it off if you’re a crown court judge.
@Billy Scott
Please follow this formula to remove Anti-V’s;
My first post. Having had a year off beating cancer, it’s great to be back on the bike and channelling “The V’ into climbing actual mountains, rather than figurative ones. During my sabbatical, I did discover a good Latin phrase: VIVE UT VIVAS, which means “live so that you can live”. The presence of all those “V”s and the obvious call to action to get on your bike and go hard, just can’t be a coincidence!
@Johnny Diesel Let me just say that your first post is fucking Awesome!
Welcome back to The Peloton, Johnny Diesel! Glad to hear you can pull some turns.
@all
There appear to be some issues with the site which have spontaneously cropped up with both the main and mobile sites. Timing couldn’t be worse as I’m tremendously short on time at the moment, but I am aware and working on it when I can. Thanks for your patience. If anyone has diagnostics, please post them here.
@frank
Was going to email you, but when I post a comment, the page doesn’t reload.
The posts post when I navigate back to the page. Windows XP, Chrome.
@frank
Oh, and I emptied my cache and it still does it.
@Nate
Those are the same effects I’m seeing. Thanks.
@frank
yup, moi aussie. Been that way for two days now.
OK, should be back to working just as poorly as before. If you have an issue, restart your browser or – worst case – dump your cache.
The stupid quoting system is still not working properly…although it works perfectly in test. Fucking computers.
@frank V mobile is working fine now. Thanks.
@frank
Quoting system is finally working as designed as well. Happy hunting.
Hello fellow Vs,
@gottago Not enough NOS (New Old Stock) to keep the mechanics happy. In fact many Team mechanics would be lost.
@unversio
What team mechanics? If we’re playing on the old-school bikes, then we should be playing with old-school rules, too. All work on the bike has to be done by the rider themselves.
Have fun with that.
@gottago
Its the 100th edition of the Tour, but only the 100th anniversary was in 2003; that year they visited all the original host towns, which was cool. I love the past as much as anyone, but we’d be bored to tears. I’d be more interested in seeing them roll a citizen’s race a day behind or ahead where people do it on old school gear.
@frank Bored to tears? Really? I don’t know. I would love to see Schleck or Contador climb up a mtn pass on one of the old steeds, watch Wiggins change his own tire. See how truly fast these guys are in a TT. No race radios, no team cars, just grit and determination. It would be awesome! They would also have to wear the same kind of kit. All wool, baby!
Old school. :-)
Maurice Garin, the winner of the 1903 Tour de France.
Has Bertie completely lost his mind?
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/contador-says-cycling-needs-to-introduce-zero-tolerance-for-dope-cheats
@frank This is one that puzzles me a bit. I know it is easy to lump him in with the other spanish nutcases who seem to love sucking up the sherbert but I sense contriition from Dirty Bertie and a willingness to distance himself from some of the more whacky elements of the Spanish pro peloton.
Maybe I am just going soft…if that break on stage 17 of this years Vuelta was truly done “clean” (and I will give him the benefit of the doubt because he must be being tested out of his skin at the moment) then it was one of the most exciting pieces of riding I have seen is some time in a Grand Tour.
The trouble is there is always this suspicion that he has done his time, is now being forced to ride clean and wants to make sure that some of his strongest and most “artificially assisted” colleagues are no longer to have an advantage that he feels he just cannot get away with any more….the real issue is he still feels he has been wronged and refuses to admit to dipping in to the pot Clenbountiful so without contrition, he cannot take the moral high ground….
Will be less exciting if he does not make it to the grand tours this year though…
Vintage Castelli. Bernard Hinault. 1980 Giro d’Italia. Can you name the frameset?
@mxlmax
I won’t be able to be more specific than Gitane. Who can name the model, and tubeset?
@frank
It’s probably custom, so tubeset maybe more relevant than model.
I can’t remember/never knew the model name, but it would most likely be Reynolds 753 tubing.
If you like nostalgic pics, I came across this site which you will enjoy.
Privécollectie Staf Van Dijck
I did and lost some productivity time, but I feel so much better seeing the pics.
@sthilzy
You must be following some of the same tumblr feeds as me.
@Oli Another frameset view with Anquetil. Imagine a Keepers Tour photo riding up along this very same route.
Anquetil look alike.
@frank
Super Corsa
Seen at our local vet.
I’d like to think this had a happy ending. But I also imagine him face-down in a dumpster full of used Dugasts.
@Nate
I have an old-school pink jersey. I love how the little label on the inside of the front hem would flip up and magically be the right way up to be visible. Also, check out the magnificent Atala kit in the background.
I have some good pics of Hinault at home. I’ll see what tubeset Gitane was using, but I suspect Reynolds.I read a great interview with BH about his bikes and he didn’t seem overly sentimental about them, generally regarding them as tools of the trade that needed to be as efficient as possible.
@wiscot Yep, Reynolds. Most likely 753 in this era.
Several bug fixes have been pushed out this morning; please let me know if anyone notices more weirdness. Notable fixes:
@Bianchi Denti
That is a class act of a post. I just badged you for that bastard…ten days late.