The Keepers

Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives.  While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.

All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in.  We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.

A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric.  This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.

I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.

– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend

Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case.  After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.

The Keepers:

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The Community:

Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:

Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.

Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.

Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.

Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.

Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.

Conduct:

We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.

Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.

Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.

*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.

1,213 Replies to “The Keepers”

  1. @wiscot

    thank you for your warm welcome.

    Aussie by birth, Irish by inclination since they brew Guinness.

    PhD in Mathematics. Also one in Education. (Is that enough to expel me?)

    Love and respect my Jamis Zenith Team. Shimano Di2, American Classic 420 wheels,Scwhaleb Ultremo tyres.

    Ilive in a beautiful part of the world. Far enough from civilizatton to feel civilized, yet close enough to cities if needed. Great supply of medical doctors who those, and thus know how to patch you up for your next adventure if you fall off at lightning speed.

    Brian

    @ChrisO

    @wiscot

  2. Note in the photo, the world’s greatest rider…..and next to him is his mate, Cadel.

    the jersey that I wear is described by my friends as the “world’s worst,” although  the charity that designed it and for which the ride was held is great and supports an excellent school for kids with autism .

    By the way, Cadel gave his time Gratis. He also, personally, donated a $aud17,000 bike for the charity to auction off! True kudos!

  3. Having trouble embedding photo.

    Amy hints?

    I copied then pasted photo, but it does not appear to have successfully transmitted.

    Any hints as to how t do it.

    Email Brianod11@gmail.com

    Thanks,,Brian.

  4. @DocBrian is it a web based photo? if so click on the little tree icon wbove the dialog box. past the pictures adress into the first empty field and click the green botton.

  5. @DocBrian when you’re logged in there should be an Upload Photo(s) link with a camera icon next to it, click on that & then select the file on your computer you want to upload.

  6. @DocBrian

    @RedRanger thanks for your hint, Red, but it is a stock standard Jpeg on my I-Pad.

    Brian

    I want to say your out of luck with the photo upload  for the i pad. apple has some sort of hocuspokus that will not allow it. The video upload works if that helps. I use the ipad from time to time and i get the same issue.  use your you tube account to get around the photo issue. hope this helps

  7. @Russ . Thank you. I-Pad has some uses, but I’m more inclined to think that it is of little use in some cassl I’ll try my desktop and figure ip out how to do it via YouTube

  8. @DocBrian

    @Russ . Thank you. I-Pad has some uses, but I’m more inclined to think that it is of little use in some cassl I’ll try my desktop and figure ip out how to do it via YouTube

    I have similar issues when using the iPad on this site. I generally will read on the iPad when I have time but switch to the MBP when I would like to post or view externally loaded content. I do like the iPad but I agree with you, it is far from perfect.

    -Dinan

  9. @Russ

    @DocBrian

    @RedRanger thanks for your hint, Red, but it is a stock standard Jpeg on my I-Pad.

    Brian

    I want to say your out of luck with the photo upload for the i pad. apple has some sort of hocuspokus that will not allow it. The video upload works if that helps. I use the ipad from time to time and i get the same issue. use your you tube account to get around the photo issue. hope this helps

    There is a reason your ipads are not working very well.  I have the same problem…

  10. @Deakus

    @Russ

    @DocBrian

    @RedRanger thanks for your hint, Red, but it is a stock standard Jpeg on my I-Pad.

    Brian

    I want to say your out of luck with the photo upload for the i pad. apple has some sort of hocuspokus that will not allow it. The video upload works if that helps. I use the ipad from time to time and i get the same issue. use your you tube account to get around the photo issue. hope this helps

    There is a reason your ipads are not working very well. I have the same problem…

    Perfect,  my first computer where did you find it!.

  11. @Russ  No, it’s definitely an I-Pad. I cleaned it up in the washing machine and when I hung it out to dry I could see the Apple logo on kit.

  12. @DocBrian @ Deakus

    @Russ No, it’s definitely an I-Pad. I cleaned it up in the washing machine and when I hung it out to dry I could see the Apple logo on kit.

    I think your direction is @ Deakus, but your rely is still worthy!

  13. I finally found the original box that it came from. It’s definitely an I-Pad. But in the instruction book it says the “I”  stands for “incontinence.”

  14. @Chris

    @Marcus Yeah, but we’ve got better beaches

    You know that list is completely, utterly fucked when two out of the top five beaches in Europe are in the UK. I think you need to look up the definition of “better” and also, probably, “beaches”.

  15. @Sauterelle

    @Nate

    @xyxax For sure. That @Steampunk sure seems to be a smart cookie, for one.

    @Bespoke

    What the hell is this? I used to like you. I don’t care how accurate, funny or pt this may turn out to be. At least we’re not French.

  16. @minion

    @Chris

    @Marcus Yeah, but we’ve got better beaches

    You know that list is completely, utterly fucked when two out of the top five beaches in Europe are in the UK. I think you need to look up the definition of “better” and also, probably, “beaches”.

    Guaranteed to get a rise out of an Aussie.

    Not being murdered to death by sharks, jelly fish and salties might have something to do with it. You also need to factor in the apres beach activities available, proper fish and chips made with beef dripping rather than a piece of grilled barramundi and real beer rather than gassy chilled piss.

    and we’re better at BBQing.

  17. @minion

    @Chris

    @Marcus Yeah, but we’ve got better beaches

    You know that list is completely, utterly fucked when two out of the top five beaches in Europe are in the UK. I think you need to look up the definition of “better” and also, probably, “beaches”.

    The ones in Scotland are much better – always provided you don’t try to swim in the water without a 5mm wetsuit

  18. @Russ I am very proud of my beast and I  am honoured that you ask me to display it in all its glory.

    As sooner as I figure out how to upload photos do sit, I will fulfill your request.

    mBrian

  19. @Chris

    @minion

    @Chris

    @Marcus Yeah, but we’ve got better beaches

    You know that list is completely, utterly fucked when two out of the top five beaches in Europe are in the UK. I think you need to look up the definition of “better” and also, probably, “beaches”.

    Guaranteed to get a rise out of an Aussie.

    Not being murdered to death by sharks, jelly fish and salties might have something to do with it. You also need to factor in the apres beach activities available, proper fish and chips made with beef dripping rather than a piece of grilled barramundi and real beer rather than gassy chilled piss.

    and we’re better at BBQing.

    As an addendum – at the Scottish ones worth visiting you need to carry your own supplies in

  20. @Chris  The only thing wrong with Aussie beachsk apart from sharks, bluebottles, octopuses, deadly scorpionfish, the odd taipan that wanders down for a quick taste of Pom, huge dumping waves, overweight European women wearing nil (as contrasted to Aussie Sheila’s in yellow polka-dotted bikinis, is….. Well, nothing!

  21. @Chris  English BBQs usually feature butties, whatever they are or whatever diseased, footrot infested vermin they find in their damp climate. And the

  22. @Mikael Liddy

    @DocBrian when you’re logged in there should be an Upload Photo(s) link with a camera icon next to it, click on that & then select the file on your computer you want to upload.

    Mikado, thank you for your reply. The camera icon is absent from my iPad, but might be in my PC. I’ll try that tomorrow.

  23. @DocBrian

    @wiscot

    thank you for your warm welcome.

    Aussie by birth, Irish by inclination since they brew Guinness.

    PhD in Mathematics. Also one in Education. (Is that enough to expel me?)

    Love and respect my Jamis Zenith Team. Shimano Di2, American Classic 420 wheels,Scwhaleb Ultremo tyres.

    Ilive in a beautiful part of the world. Far enough from civilizatton to feel civilized, yet close enough to cities if needed. Great supply of medical doctors who those, and thus know how to patch you up for your next adventure if you fall off at lightning speed.

    Brian

    @ChrisO

    @wiscot

    Welcome Doc! I like you already………….(being of Irish decent myself).

  24. @DocBrian

    @Chris English BBQs usually feature butties, whatever they are or whatever diseased, footrot infested vermin they find in their damp climate. And the

    Horse. It would seem that most English BBQs of late have consisted largely of horse. Which is a good deal better than kangaroo, crocodile and camel.

    Seriously  who the fuck would eat Skippy? That would be a bit like the yanks eating Lassie, Silver or Trigger.

  25. @Chris I ate horse, once, and inadvertently. $10 in a cafe  in Tahiti. Labelled “boule de viande,” but only late did I see the addendum “au Cheval.”  It was cheaper than McDonalds, and about as tasty, although the texture was a bit odd.

    Would not, could not, do it again.  Skippy…..I have also eaten. By choice to see what all,the hype about it is? Not nice. Gamely, stringy if overlooked. Venison is better. But then, Aussie shark is much better than bottom feeding flatfish that Poms use in their fish and chips.

  26. Sorry about typos. Spell check is too quick to react and keyboard on I-Pad is junk.

  27. @Chris Roo’s not bad eating. Super lean, cooks quickly and is supposed to be high in iron. Marcus would have you believe that convicts and the morally inept would bother to eat it, (the rest of the Australian population in other words) but to be honest compared to the feedlot raised livestock that doesn’t taste of anything that gets sold a lot  round here, it’s an interesting change.

    @Chris

    @minion

    @Chris

    @Marcus Yeah, but we’ve got better beaches

    You know that list is completely, utterly fucked when two out of the top five beaches in Europe are in the UK. I think you need to look up the definition of “better” and also, probably, “beaches”.

    Guaranteed to get a rise out of an Aussie.

    Not being murdered to death by sharks, jelly fish and salties might have something to do with it. You also need to factor in the apres beach activities available, proper fish and chips made with beef dripping rather than a piece of grilled barramundi and real beer rather than gassy chilled piss.

    and we’re better at BBQing.

    And I’m NOT FUCKING AUSTRALIAN (even though you may be talking about Marcus)

  28. Photo taken at top of 3km 10% to 12% winding climb called “cardiac.” Near a town called Robertson in Southern Highlands of NSW Australia. Ride was a very hilly 55km charity ride for a group called”Giant Steps,” that supports a very good school for kids with autism.

    Saint Cadel donated his time, gratis, and also gave a AUD17,000 BMC bike to the group to auction.

    Some PANACHE, with a capital P

    Cadel went up and down cardiac several times to accompany each of the groups and thus each of the 150 of us as we struggled up the hill. He tried to personally talk to as many of us, indivually, as possible.

  29. @minion

    And I’m NOT FUCKING AUSTRALIAN (even though you may be talking about Marcus)

    What, you’re not the same person? Anyway only an Australian would be dumb enough to live in Canberra.

  30. @Chris Don’t know how you’re going on the bike but you have fine sledging form at the moment.

  31. @ChrisO It must be the only thing that’s going well this weekend. As well as the sheep shaggers spoiling the party at Twickenham, my car died yesterday making it worth considerably less than my bike but unfortunately it’s not finance free. Thought I’d take my frustrations out with a nice early morning 65 km blast only to get a puncture 5km in.

    At least I know the drill for standing in a muddy lay-by stripping off a fucked tubular in the rain and getting the spare on. Key tip would be to make sure that the valve extended on the spare is very well screwed on or threadlocked – it was quite alarming to see it start to rotate as I unscrewed the CO2 chuck. The valve cores are all threadlocked but not the extender on that one tyre.

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