The Keepers
Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives. While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.
All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in. We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.
A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric. This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.
I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.
– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend
Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case. After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.
The Keepers:
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The Community:
Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:
Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.
Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.
Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.
Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.
Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.
Conduct:
We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.
Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.
Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.
*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.
@sthilzy A TV doco “Tour for a cure”. 1000km ride from Sydney to Melbourne. A poor bloke was knockEd off his bike by a skippy on day3. Didn’t rejoin the tour until he recovered 3 days later.
I are horse about 20 years ago in Tahiti (dive holiday). $10, for “boule de viande ” I didn’t notice the addendum “au cheval” until we’d walkeaaa way. Odd texture, but anything’ s better than Maccas.
Not keen on Skippy, but other Aussie treats sucks as Balmain bugs, shark, etc, especially with a good Aussie wine (not the rubbish we send to England as punishment for robbng us of the Rugby World Cup by one point when Wilkinson flunked a penalty) are great.
@Chris When were thebWelshnatbTwickenham?
@RedRanger Again, thank you. I seem to have had success in transmitting the photo. No comments on it, but since I see it on the site I assume it has gone through successfully
@DocBrian pretty sure most of us are just jealous…
@DocBrian You spotted the deliberate mistake although is more than likely that there was a party or two in Twickenham that felt decidedly pissed upon.
@DocBrian
Apart from sounding like another bitter convict – the Jonny and Jonno Show was 10 years ago, get over it, we have – you need to get to grips with you ipad. You come across as suggesting that Balmain Bugs and shark get worse with Aussie wine.
I‘d agree that the majority Aussie wine that makes it to the northern hemisphere is distinctly average but that doesn’t register on the give-a-fuck-o-meter when I crack open a bottle of Bordeaux or Madiran.
@Chris Jacob’s Creek and some of the other plonk we sell to unsuspecting and unschooled British guzzlers are OK. Probably cheaper there than here. Go well with gray cooked british beef that have a slight dose of mad cow disease. On the upside, there’s a surprising supply of very good Aussie wines, especially South Aust reds available for under $15 at home. We keep them for ourselves to enjoy with our magnificent grain fed beef or Cowra lamb.
Balmain bugs are always good, but Aussie lobsters are great. At Sorrento (Victoria) for the $5 cost of a two day fishing license, you can catch your own….if you can dive to 25 or 35 meters in the shipping lanes.
Will post photo of my #1 bike when I get back from today’s ride. Starting late because it is unseasonably cold, today. 15degrees, but then it is nearly winter here and that is about the max summertime temp over there.
@Chris I apologies for the misleading typo in my message. I did not want to say that bugs and shark SUCK. The worth that was changed by the rampant spell checker was to be SUCH AS.
Just watched the South African win. Recorded it last night. Great finish, but as Basil said: “Don’t mention the war!”
As requested, as a “newbie,” I submit my #1 for critique.
It is a Jamis Zenith Di2. Has American Classic 420 Aero 3 wheels, SDhimano Di2, FSA SLK Light hollow carbon cranks. I’ve put Schwalbe Ultremo tyres and a Specialized Rubino Evo Comp Gel saddle on it. I’ve taken the pump off and installed a carrier with two gas cyclinders, as required by the blessed Rules.
For today’s riode In have a GoPro installed, but usually don’t carry that. I must admit to using a Garmin, but it is useful to monitor cadence and heartrate. If my heartrate exceeds 170, I stop before my heart stops.
Notice that this beautiful machine has been honoured with its very own cedar clad shed, where it resides with all the accoutriments that are needed to support it.
Brian.
@DocBrian
Well you know what’s coming I hope…
Rule #26 – bidons, valve stems, pedal cranks
Rule #29 – there’s a growth under your saddle
Rule #30 – so you’ve removed the frame-mounted pump, and replaced it with canister mounts. You what ? Canisters are carried in jersey pockets.
Rule #40 – valve stem and label ?
Rule #41 – QR not rear of front fork, or bisecting seat/chain stays at rear.
Rule #44 – 4cm minimum drop saddle to bars ? Judging by the lines on the shed it looks nearly level.
Rule #45 – May be hard to see in the photo but I can’t spot a spacer above the stem and the stack is way over regulation.
Rule #74 – There isn’t actually a rule about GoPros. I don’t suppose anyone ever thought there would need to be. You have now digitally recorded it sitting on your bike like a snow-plough and posted a picture which will live forever on the internet. If your bike was a living thing it would die of shame, or run away and hide behind the aforementioned shed.
Apart from that, nice ;-) Like the wheels too.
Chris O,
Forgive me, for I have sinned.
Hail,Merckx, full of wheels,
The pedal is thy shepherd,
Thou shall not want,
For the hills are awaiting,
Your high cadence grace.
I fully expected that some of my transgressions would not slip by unnoticed, and I am sure that other mistakes will catch the eyes of The keepers of the Faith. I pledge to try to correct my sinful ways, and now will execute a decade of the rosary chain. That’s an lot of kinks.
@DocBrian
Rule violations aside, I have a pair of those wheels in black and they are awesome!
@Deakus how long have you had them? I have had two pairs of American Classics. Great feeling light wheels but both failed in the rear hub
@Marcus
Not long, I originally grabbed a set in white (I managed to get £100 off the list price) but as my custom build on the Argon 18 progressed (and before I had ridden them) I managed to persuade the LBS to swap them for a black set. I have been out on them probably only 3 or 4 times but was really impressed with the “spin up”. A little concerning about the hubs though…..spent most of the spring on my rain bike so just waiting for the weather to tick up above 5degC and the rain to stop before taking it out again. Actually it is currently in the LBS having a brand new gruppo installed (Campag Centaur Red and Black….I decided in the end to stay 10 spd). Picking it up this weekend!
@Marcus
I had heard Confidis train on 420’s? This came from last years TdF..
train on 420’s? This came from last years TdF
@DocBrian
Rule #52
Rule #60
and what’s the fork mounted sensor. It looks like you’ve got a Garmin 800 which uses the cadence/speed sensor on the non drive side chain stay? You’re not going for a double transgression of Rule #74?
If there was a rule on the acceptable use of of GoPros, I’m sure it would mention discreet mounting, i.e., hanging under the bars, and svelte mounting kits rather than monstously over engineered plasticy efforts.
Other than that and my dislike of white bikes (mine is white too), nice bike.
@Chris A sad attribute as a Mathematician is that I love analyzing all sorts of things, including my rides. I know that I shouldn’t and that now that I am an acolyte of this illustrious order I should just RIDE/RIDe/RIDE and not worry about heart rates (or even whether my heart is beating at all), cadence etc, but character traits developed as a youth are hard to get rid of. As an older man I have overcome several of the venal sins of youth. I must now overcome some of the traits that THE RULES prescribe as sinful, such as keeping valve caps on. I will now, grasshopper, spend some time learning the catechism of the order.
@DocBrian Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Rule #74 Nazi.
As a relative newcomer to the sport, I am less able to ride by feel alone when I am pushing myself and I often find it easier to push myself harder when I can there is a number that I have told hold myself above. Amongst others, Rule #74 is one that I’ll continue to flaunt (if you only worry about recorded data once you are off the bike then you’re off the bike).
I was just interest in what the fork mounted sensor actually does.
@DocBrian
Hey Doc, don’t feel alone with having extra stuff on your bike. Lots of riders do. I tend to skip things like saddle bags, GoPro’s, frame pumps, etc. but I DO ride with a Garmin 800 on my bikes. I think the information they give me is very valuable. I rely on the Garmin heavily when I ride new routes or decide mid-ride to go a different route or if I have to bail and head back to the house due to some emergency. I personally think they are fantastic. Small, wireless, fits right on the stem, keeps all my ride info convenient and not too expensive!
The negative I will give having the GPS on the bike is that I do find myself on (what are supposed to be) easy rides, looking at the Garmin and seeing slower speeds or cadences and subconsciously I will speed up because the numbers I am seeing don’t line up with my usual ride numbers. If I catch myself doing that, I just unlock the Garmin and put it in my jersey pocket. The GPS still collects all my data while in my pocket but not having the computer forces me to ride by feel. I think there is a lot of value to riding by feel alone sometimes.
By the way, I like the American Classic wheels on your bike. I have a set on my track bike. Not a single complaint about them!
-Dinan
@Chris The fork-mounted sensor is not for the Garmin. It is for the more discrete tiny hardly noticeable and therefore (or possibly not) acceptable Sigma wireless computer.
I usually have the Sigma set to show current speed and average speed, while I have the sinful Garmin set to show cadence, heart rate and gradient, all things a mathematician would be interested in but which, according to the catechism cyclists should not worry about.
For the sins which are about to be identified I apologies in advance, even before I commit them and will perform a few decades on the rosary chain. I am rapidly wearing chain links out counting decades.
I have to run a small wireless Cateye on the stem. How else can I get data into the file rides.xlsx and know things that will change my behavior in no way at all?
@DocBrian fuck performing rosaries, hill reps are the currency of penance round here.
@Chris Accepted, gladly, seeing that I am not a god-botherer. Just the opposite. More of an heretic. I know I’m destined to an afterlife in a very hot, sulphurous cave, if there is an afterlife.
As to penance: Did 70km yesterday, including two rounds of my 25km hill circuit. is that OK for a beginning of my penance?
I am presently editing video of my hill circuit and if it turns out worth watching I’ll post a YouTube link to it.
@DocBrian
Yay, another one!!
@DocBrian
Only you can say whether enough V was dished up for it to be a penance but it seems fundamentally wrong to allocate rides retrospectively like that.
@Chris
It kind of defeats the Porpoise of Penance. It’s not penance if you’re not kind of dreading it in advance.
@Chris Then this Sunday I’ll suffer the 3km “Cardiac”, for my penance. This is a dreaded local hill….twisted, steep, 10% to 12% not all but most the the way up. Cadel did it about 7 times on a recent charity ride here. The sainted one went up and down like a yo-yo, cajoling we lesser mortals to conquer our pain and keep our legs rolling in great pain until we reached the top (where I was lucky enough to have my photo taken with the Master. See photo in earlier post, above).
Part of the Burrawang/Robertson run that the Sunday morning group that calls themselves “Cheesecake” undertake regularly. As part of the penance I will accept their laughter and derisory comments at my agony.
Perhaps (perhaps) a similar video for Frank? In Het Wiel Van Eddy Merckx [video]
Pertinent to comments above about nasties in Ausstralia. the brother of a Colleague of my wife has tonight been reported as having been taken by a shark off Perth, Western Australia, while surfing.
@DocBrian Bugger
Yup! He was eaten up! 24 yeas young! Confirmed today.
Bugger..bugger…bugger
@DocBrian Bugger.
To the respected gentlemen guarding this site, greetings.
Geezer here (if you need reminding, I am the 52 yr old who shaves his guns but not his face). Well, the world has taken a turn for the surreal, for my good friend, and long-time cycling bud, has brazenly abused Rule #8 with this crass tape job. He was cleaning his steed and sent me this pic (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151370453086801&set=o.241371401890&type=1&theater). We’re debating the merits of glowingly bright “gold” bar tape. He insists that he hasn’t broken Rule #8, and that the tape makes his bike faster. On both counts I disagree. Please advise.
Gold bar tape. Yer thoughts?
@Geezer Gold is very dense, much fender than lead, but not as dense as Uranium 235. It is probably denser than white tape and thus would slow even my best friend (see photo above) Saint Cadel .
otherwise his steed is grouse.
@DocBrian Is grouse a good thing? Tis my bike up for discussion.
@DocBrian Wow, that’s some serious shit. Very sorry to hear.
@DocBrian
Sorry, should have quoted, rather than replied. Clearly, I was referring to this of the two tragedies.
@zipper Grouse is good. In fact His bars do look great. I will retape my Jamis bars with white/black when they need it, but the gold does look spiffing.
@Bespoke thank you. I did not know the young man, but clearly my wife’s colleague and her family must be upset. (is that an understatement?)
@zipper
Donyounwear gold shoes?
@DocBrian
Gold looks good when you win an Olympic Gold Medal. Until then its like Rainbow tape.
@Geezer My opinion, which counts for jackshit and is exactly worth what you’re paying for it, is that it looks like absolute shit.
But, that’s just my opinion. Ride on and enjoy the wind and bugs in your face!
@DocBrian
Holy shit! That’s awful. Absolutely awful. You hear stories like this but I never actually really think it happens. So sorry, man.
@Buck Rogers
Mmmm, think I’m with Bucky here – that looks a bit nasty – where on earth did you get gold bar tape? ? spray paint job?
@Geezer Seeing as you asked, I have to agree with Buck Rogers and Dr. C here, the gold tape looks crook. All brass, no class.
@Geezer
Unless you are Samuel Sanchez or Paolo Bettini, no.
@Geezer
Too shrill for a Cervélo. On a Cipollini: awesome.
@Mirko
Would you wear a gold lame jacket when you do a stand-up comedy routine in a cheap Vegas club?