The Keepers
Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives. While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.
All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in. We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.
A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric. This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.
I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.
– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend
Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case. After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.
The Keepers:
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The Community:
Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:
Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.
Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.
Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.
Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.
Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.
Conduct:
We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.
Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.
Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.
*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.
@frank
A blip? 24hrs later I tried again and success. Order 33536. Don’t lose it!
Very cool little video by Collectif Parlee:
Collectif Parlee – Au pays du huitième jour from Thomas Rinfret on Vimeo.
@The Packmonger
Welcome to Sweden. Today I did 3.5 hours in + 3 degrees and winds of 10 m/ s
@William Perreault
Perfect , spot on.
Hi, my name’s Nat and I’m a long time lurker.
While out riding this afternoon, in a New Jersey kindly sent by a charity ride organiser, I suddenly realised a potential new rule.
Charity ride jerseys should NEVER be race cut.
Eagerly awaiting your reply, and keep up the critical work.
In cycling
Nat Bromhead
Had a really fun chat with Patrick Bulger the other day on his Packfiller Podcast:
http://packfiller.com/2016/02/15/frank-strack-velominati-com/
@Nat Bromhead
Nat, welcome from the shadows! I’m confused. I tjought you were riding in New Jersey. Race cut? Are you serious? All the charity jerseys I’ve ever seen are, at best “club fit.” Your confusion may stem from the fact that many of the riders who wear such apparel are often rather generously insulated, thus rendering what in reality has all the tailoring of a bin liner, into a garment whose seams are under more stress than the San Andreas fault.
And this is before the forum opens on the “design” of said garments. In general, they can be described by the following words: garish, tasteless, lurid, offensive and “wacky.”
Keeping up the critical (in the interpretation of “highly important, vital to the nation’s wellbeing” sense, rather than the “that sucks dude!”) work.
Yours truly,
Wiscot
@wiscot
You may have a point there whereby “cut” applies to the jersey race cut, club cut, but “fit” applies to the individual, race fit, club fit, couch fit. Hence race cut and race fit is a good combination, race cut and club fit could be marginal and race cut and couch fit will be stretching things in all senses of the words.
@frank
Actually listened to the whole thing, whilst downing a local IPA.
Was entertaining, well played.
Great stuff, Frank. I’m not sure what you were discussing but I found your dulcet tones very soothing to listen to.
@frank
Really like the part about those who’ve been around cycling the longest being the least elitist and dickish. As much as we abide and have very serious standards, which are both self and group imposed, I doubt any of us would be truly shitty to someone new and coming up.
Nothing wrong with codes, but definitely something wrong with discouraging new folks. And the longer you’ve been at something, right, the less you care and more secure you are. It’s the newcomers putting style before substance who are uptight and defensive.
@Frank – What’s the word on ship dates for the V-Kit order that closed in Jan. Last message I got said late March. Any update? Thanks.
Joining the observers of the rules. Today is a Rule #9 day.
Bit of a heads up for you all, I’ve just launched a new website, not in opposition to The V, so it’d be great if you all went and had a look, liked us on the ‘book and ‘gram, and maybe click on a few ads too!
It’s called ChainSlap and it has a bit of everything, most forms of cycling with an emphasis on mtb I suppose, also music, beer, coffee and some other shit that you might not see on other sites, hopefully!
@brett
Consider it done ! Nice work
@brett
saw some of the tweets linking to Chainslap & wondered if there was a connection. Shall have a gander.
@brett
Is that where you hide with these?
http://chainslapmag.com/2016/05/stealth-sack/
Just what you need, can of beer, hammer 50 Km of trails, stop, pull ring,……….oh yeh, maybe not such a great idea after all………
@Teocalli
The final descent always goes better after a beer!
@brett
Ha! The Gubernut here in the Great US of A has you figured out, Brett.
Your new website is blocked on all Department of Defense computers!!!
@Buck Rogers
Fuckin Rothschilds are onto me!
Enjoying a visit to a Keeper’s homeland.
Cool little bit here on Parker Dusseau where they’re offering a copy of The Rules with purchases; had a chance to chat up the owner a bit and they apparently had a mic running!
http://www.parkerdusseau.com/blogs/journal/rule-94-wear-parker-dusseau-and-receive-a-free-book
Dear keepers et al,
How about a food & drink section?
My local supermarket just started stocking this recovery ale, and I wanted to share this important information with you all, however I was unsure where to post it.
You’re welcome.
i’ve made a couple of posts already, but, in keeping with Rule #19, what’s the appropriate way to introduce oneself here?
@Cary
That works! Welcome.
Another way is to post a pic of #1 having studied Rule #26 (or just deny knowledge of Rule #26) with a short summary of your riding locale.
@Teocalli
cool. where should i post it? i am quite new to this site as a commentor, obviously, though i have read extensively.
@Cary
Sorry stupid me. Under The Bikes usually.
common sense should have played a role in figuring this out for myself. sorry, and thanks!
Did @frank take up a new job?
http://www.outsideonline.com/2108066/emerald-citys-velo-thieves-have-problem-bike-batman
“Bike Batman was just an average-seeming guy in Seattle who liked to ride his bicycles. He had no inkling to become a vigilante who would face off against criminals while armed with little more than a smartphone, some spare time, and a pair of brass balls. But sometimes in life, the cape finds you.”
My seatpost is thisssssssss long!
Alright folks! Time for a bit of “It’s a Wonderful Velominati Life”.
Frahnk, through no fault of his own, is in the lurch for a bunch of kit money at a bit of a rough time. He is actually selling off his bikes trying to raise the funds to make it right (kind of like cashing in his life insurance money, eh???).
Somehow the Mr Potter of this world has stolen his $8,000 bucks (or whatever the fuck the amount was).
So I propose that anyone that can, donate a bit of money to the site. And this is not me trying to raise money for my kit, this is just trying to help out Frahnk and the site.
Obviously I have no idea of how to do this but if someone can set up one of those internet donation help sites, I’d love to contribute!
Thanks all and Merckxy Christmas!!!
Please advise: I registered on the site Monday morning and created my first post on my android device. Although the ‘publishing post’ box came up I could not see it. I then tried posting twice again with the same results.
I then thought I’d try posting from a PC and was surprised to see my first post on the site (I fear there are several others possibly in the queue now).
Is there a delay associated with ‘posting’. Thanks
@Buck Rogers
Buck, is this true or just a little holiday fun? I’d happily donate to support this site. Can’t help with setting up a donation site, though.
@Magaramombi
There is not usually a delay, but might be for your first post. Can’t speak about Android but generally the site does not like Explorer on a PC.
Welcome to the madness anyway.
@MangoDave
Wow! This came through finally!!! I posted this on Christmas day (along with this photo). It is real. Frahnk was fucked by “The Man” and is in the lurch for the money for the recent order. If someone knows how to set up a “Go Fund Me” (or as I like to say, “Go Fuck Me”) website for this, I owuld love to donate some to Frahnk for all that he does around here for
free.
@Buck Rogers
It would seem a clamp-on front changer is entirely appropriate…
From this book, published in 1986, but containing many detail images of Hinault’s 1985 road bikes. Also indicates older-style Nuovo Record two-bolt seat post rather the single-bolt Super Record.
@osbk67
Oh, THAT is brilliant! That is the exact bike I am building up for my Eroica adventures!
What a resource! Just bought a used copy off of Amazon for 2 bucks once I saw your post. I have the 1985 Fabulous World of Cycling book that I have been using as well.
I am working with a guy in Scotland who is a huge La Vie Claire “expert” and has multiple bikes from that team. He is also helping me to source the exact correct parts for the bike.
He had told me that Hinault used the Nuevo Record seatpost and not the SR one as well but great catch on your part! any help/confirmation that I can get is greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
@osbk67
I realised when I saw this post that my life was not complete because I don’t own this book. I have put this right and will have my copy soon.
@RobSandy @Buck Rogers
I have a few other relics of the era I’m happy to look through if you can’t find answers elsewhere. Probably catalogues for most of the parts of the day as well, but nothing for Hinault frames, which were a fairly short-lived venture.
“Bicycle Mechanics in Workshop and Competition”, first published 1986, is an interesting and relevant read if one is dealing with racing bicycles of that vintage.
@osbk67
Speaking with some people that know a LOT more than I do, it sounds like the Hinault bikes that the whole team rode were all custom builds made out of 753 Reynolds, at least for 1985.
I do not think that they ever mass made that many of them (if any at all?)?
At the beginning of the section The Keepers, you quote Gianni Bugno’s statement about bikes. You quote Bugno as having said, or written, “A good bike and it’s components… .” For Merckx’s sake it is not “it’s components.” That is a contration for “it is,” which makes no sense within the context of the quote attributed to Bugno. The proper word to use is “its,” as in, “its components.” “Its” is the possessive form of “it.” I don’t (another example of a contraction) mean to be pedantic, but I learned English as a second language and such glaring error just jump out of the page. Just like you frown upon the use of saddle bags (Rule 31), among many other things, you should also frown upon misuse of our lovely language. Now I am off to go riding my Colnago, all decked out with its beautiful components and sans a saddle bag. :)
Haha!
“Contration”
“glaring error just jump out of the page”
It’s always hilarious when the grammar police make mistakes while trying to correct others.
@Oli
You EJ off lightly. to wit:
1. “I don’t… mean to be pedantic” whilst meeting the text book definition.
2. “… off to go riding my Colnago…”. No shit English is his second language.
3. The inexcusable placement of a quotation mark after the full stop when the quote doesn’t form a whole sentence (line 2).
@Marcus
Or the failure to capitalize the “t” in “to wit.” Because “to” came after a period, the “t” should be capitalized. To wit: I’m a pedant.
@wiscot
yeah yeah, that’s a typo – and I am excused as I was bagging a pedant, not being a pedant. Your spelling of capitalise with a “z” tells me all I need to know about your use of English.
Go ride some miles in the cold Fahrenheit. Or build a wall.
@Oli
@Marcus
@wiscot
I love you guys. Had a really good laugh at that one!
@frank
Fuck off Frank. Who asked you?
@Marcus
This is what happens when we suffer from article-penia. Addicts gotta have their fix after all.
@Ccos
Yeah yeah yeah…working on it!
@Marcus
@Ccos
The benefit of not writing is that usually all that vitriol is pointed at me! I love hanging out in the bleachers!