The Keepers
Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives. While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.
All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in. We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.
A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric. This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.
I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.
– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend
Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case. After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.
The Keepers:
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The Community:
Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:
Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.
Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.
Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.
Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.
Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.
Conduct:
We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.
Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.
Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.
*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.
@G’phant
HA! That’s rich and a spectacular plan. Even if I only ever get compared to Jens analogously, I’ll take it. Wait until frank gets a hold of this.
@G’phant
@Marko
Love it. I was thinking one step ahead but you hit it right on the head. We should start thinking about our own channel V.
BTW, I would love to see a Velominati Iphone app. I love the mobile site, but how cool would a V icon on the phone be? I would pay for that app.
@Pedale.Forchetta
@Marko
@frank
Grazie mille lads, we think we are at 24 years! Pedale, your photos are exceptional again. The photos show what a beautiful day it was, the Giro pink ballon against the blue sky is now my computer wall paper. And more back-stage access, you are our Man in Italy!
@RedRanger
It’s in the conceptual phase. “Compliance Check” – shake for a rule and make sure you’re in compliance. Upload pics from your camera of (a) massive Rule observances and (b) massive Rule Violations…along those lines.
Now, if only I had a clone…
@G’phant, @Marko
Gears are spinning as to how I can get the raw feed. Once I get that, it’s a piece of cake. I don’t think I can pull it off for this year, but it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that we get it up and running for next year.
Of course we’d stream directly to the iPhone app as well. And store the feeds for replay. And editing into a Greatest Hits. And I would keep a “mute” button dedicated to Brett’s channel.
@frank
Well if it’s THAT easy we need to set you a sterner challenge. How about (i) making the app compatible with users submitting questions / comments which scroll along the side of the feed and (ii) a Skype-type hook-up, so that you can also livestream callers’ questions / comments?
Re getting the feed: wouldn’t the simplest way be to get it from one of the broadcasters, on the basis that (i) you won’t stream the commentary, just the pictures, (ii) you’ll give them credit, and (iii) you’ll give them a cut of the (modest but worthwhile) subscription fees you collect via PayPal from those of us who sign up (and are sent the necessary password)?
BTW, the “Compliance Check” app (magic 8-ball for cyclists) sounds excellent. Will it work on my Crapberry?
@frank
You should have a stupid trick in there too, like the ability to “take and upload photo” of your bike for immediate virtual compliance check. Of course, the app does none of that and always simply returns “Out of compliance with Rule #5.”
@mcsqueak
Yeah – that’s great…make all these lengthy processing animations and star-treky sound effects and then just say, “Sorry. Rule #5.”
I also thought about having the Shake for Compliance Check be weighted towards The V.
@frank
I think it’s good to maintain equilibrium – and easier on you in the long run. Tho it’s really too bad. It was a frikin’ funny thread and as said before, photo wasn’t personally a problem. In the least.
On the other hand, the number of times the word “porn” is showing up in RE. Alpin’s CduD photos… that could cause you a Google ripple!
Cookie?
@all
Well, after heavy deliberation, we’ve decided on our first +1 Badge award. We had loads of people we wanted to hand it to, including some of our longest-standing members. We went back and forth on whether to award the first one as an honorary retrospective for deeds past, or to focus on the last week since the announcement of the program. In the end, we decided to start fresh and award it to whomever had the biggest impact on the site over the course of the last week based on who contributed the most to either getting conversations going or by providing something in an similarly meaningful way.
Admittedly, we have some big shoes to fill in that regard as we had Alpin reporting live from the Dauphiné to provide not only loads of up-close photos, but also of Richard Virenque flashing the Sign of the Merckx.
So, with that, the first +1 Badge is awarded to Alpin. Thanks for your contribution this week, mate. Keep it up.
@frank
Nice one. Very hard to go past someone who gets Reeeeeshard to give the M-sign to camera. Let Aline such amazing photography. Well done, Alpin. Most worthy.
@frank
A-Merckx. Great call!!!
Nice!
@G’phant
Methinks, perhaps, the special badge should only now be granted to persons who can persuade (and document) an important cycling personality to give the Merckx sign…
Sounds good.
I missed the picture. now I gotta review the CDD thread to find it. Again good choice!
Alpin definitely deserves the +1 but I think he needs and asterik by the +1 since he totally kills my bandwidth when ever I try to look at all those awesome images.
Well deserved. Great pictures. Hope Alpin will be taking pics at the Tour.
@Steampunk
That sets a high bar. But appropriately so.
@Cyclops
+1
@frank good call. Does @alpin get his own gallery?
frank and keepers – A worthy recipient of the inaugural +1 badge.
@Gianni:
Hi, I just wanted to congratulate you on your upcoming big screen debut. Can you confirm multiple VMHs?
Frank just now alerted me of the existence of this post …
As i was at La Toussuire at the time, I didn’t have the chance to read it here !
Thank you so much for the Jersey, mates !
a quite-new-but-already-proud member of Velominati !
PS : as @Chris asked … Perhaps would it be a good idea to create a separate column like a “photographic gallery” dedicated for the Tour ???
or even regroup pictures of the past Dauphine in another dedicated Gallery ?
you guys are tools.
@Farmer Ted
and you’re an Adrian. well done and congrats!
@Farmer Ted
Do you mean, like, garden rakes and watering cans?
@xyxax
No, he doesn’t. He is Beavis. He said ‘tools’ and then found he didn’t know how to spell ‘huh huh, hurr hurr, heh heh’. But I bet he’s checking back to see if someone else does. Aren’t you, Beavis? And now you know. See, we’re nice lack that. Stick around and you might learn some more.
Said in my best Ralph from The Simpsons Voice: “I’m a chainwhip!”
@xyxax
I’m afraid we are going right to DVD, in the comedy/porno section. And yes, there are many VHMs of various, as yet to be determined if legal, ages.
Hahahahaaaa! Oh I think you’ve gone and picked the best tool to be. I’m gonna be a cone spanner
@minion
I’m a campa-specific 7mm allen wrench that costs $100.
@G’phant
Heh, heh. You said “but”.
@minion
You’re one of those 15mm cone spanners that has all the edges munted and has been hit with a hammer to try and take pedals off…
I’m the thing that hits the star-fangled nut down the steerer tube. Not often employed, but does an ok job when it has to.
@Gianni
Probably right as the poster was taken down the day after the photo. Likely to be replaced by “DSK et les Femmes de Menage”.
@all
Another tough week to name the +1 Badge…we had some great conversations on a number of different topics, but this week’s standout performance came from @Oli for his outstanding work filling in the various gaps in our collective memories on our discussions about The Badger both here and here.
Thanks for your contribution, Oli – keep it up!
Totally deserved.
Cheers!
@Oli
Nice one O B Wan!
@Brett
I’d have thought you’d be an answering machine.
@Brett
As a lawyer I think I’d probably be a European Posterior Man-Satchel – arguably useful on occasion, but nonetheless an embarrassment.
@frank
Congrats, Oli – deserved recognition of the great contributions you continue to make to our cycling knowledge.
@Oli
Chapeau, Oli! Well deserved.
Good on ya Oli!
@frank
Well, in that case I’ll see your $100 Campy allen wrench and raise you a $180 Campy Cork Screw contraption.
Yes, Oli is good choice!
Now – getting that little V-Kit icon means a real V-Kit is on it’s way to your house, right? Yes?
Which begs the question – since in order to be Rules compliant we must use KPH instead of MPH shouldn’t we also convert from US Dollars to Euros?
@Cyclops
No. I like the exchange rate at the moment…
I have one of them there corkscrew thingamies…and I got my 7mm allen key from my local hardware store for about NZ$10 – sure it’s not Campag, but Bondhus does the job.
This week’s +1 award goes to Ron, who, in addition to his healthy contributions and questions this week has also been too good a sport about “Ron-ing” to continue to overlook him for this one.
Cheers. Oh, and sorry we’re a day late on the announcement. We were distracted by shiny objects.
Well deserved, Ron! Good stuff.