Experts Only: The Winter Cycling Cap

Not for the faint hearted: the Winter Cycling Cap.

We just finished a thorough examination of the Cyclist’s marquee accoutrement, the Cycling Cap. Today’s lesson is about the Cycling Cap’s red-headed step brother, the Winter Cycling Cap.

This is a toque born of necessity; the thin cotton cap is nowhere near warm enough for the demands of the Flemish winter training season. Form should follow function, but when form is ignored altogether, we wind up with these sorts of creations, which is why I like to make sure form always gets a seat at the table during the design process. The cap’s main body is generally constructed of 6 or 8 wooly panels, the front section of which is often covered in a slightly windproof material. Added to this is the typical stubby visor found on a traditional Cycling Cap. Also covered in wool. Finally – and this is the real clincher, a third flap is added to the cap, which is intended to cover the ears but can also be flipped up if conditions do not warrant ear covering.

The Winter Cycling Cap is the most difficult article of cold-weather gear to pull off. The construction of the main cap presents the first challenge as the wool panels lack the finesse of its cotton sibling and tends to collect in a peak that resembles a reservoir tip. Which is very bad. The ear flaps present the second challenge in that their deployment is an automatic violation of the Three-Point System. Flipped up and stowed away for takeoff and landing, it is possible to adhere to the 3PS, but in that case the cap generally takes on the appearance of a derby crossed with a condom. I don’t have to tell you that’s also bad. The cap flies under the radar when worn under a helmet, although you’ll be thankful for a helmet locking system that makes it easy to adjust for a cap that adds two centimeters to your skull’s girth.

I found an orange one of these little monsters and it is a very welcome addition to my winter wardrobe, keeping all the heat that escapes out of my big brain from leaving the body. But it is far and away the most challenging bit of kit to pull off. You will have to spend some quality time in front of the mirror experimenting with what works for your goofy head if you want to have any chance of wearing it with dignity sans helmet. Skinny-faced people will have a better time of it than grapefruit-shaped head people like me. Popping your shades over the top helps to give it some shape, but be prepared to throw all the cap-wearing principles out the window in pursuit of finding a way to Look Fantastic wearing it.

I recommend you buy one and put it in your jersey pocket. Wear your cotton cap until the very last moment prior to hitting the road and only at that point deploy the little monster. If convenient, put it on in the dark where no one can see you. Under no circumstances attempt what Raul is managing here with expert help from Shelley Verses, unless you also have a Shelley Verses handy.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @dyalander

    I give you the Assos Ninja. The Man with the Hammer dispatches him for certain dirty jobs - fashion violations, pros who won't accept that it's time to retire, difficult middle of the bunch work. Many an "inexplicable" crash is actually the doing of this fiend. He's also been known to sabotage equipment leading to snapped handlebars/forks/frames/brake cables or front wheels dropping out. If you're regularly violating the rules, be sure to give your machine a careful check before each ride lest you become the Assos Ninja's next victim.

    Sorry, I see this and think "gimp" I have no desire to see what else he might be wearing. It even has wee loops to attach restraints to FFS.

  • @Chris

    @Ron

    I've got a Solo CC Possum Fur cap waitin' underneath the holiday bush for opening (a virtual one, we don't have one).

    Have you got your virtual holiday bush up already?

    +1 on this. I'm sorry if I sound like a Grinch here but the whole Christmas thing is starting earlier and earlier. I know the US economy is 70% consumer driven but what with the whole Black Friday crap and now stores are opening ON Thanksgiving Day, it's getting way out of hand.

    Here's a thought to be thankful for: that you're not one of the poor buggers who will have to go into work tomorrow or at some god-forsaken hour of the night on Friday morning to deal with media-fuelled frenzied "shoppers" who want to get a good deal on shit they don't need. How soon before the stores open on Christmas day or is that day sacrosanct? Opening on T-Day is the thin end of the wedge to 24-7-365 retailing. Sad times.

  • I'm sorry, I meant to kick back and let this article just fade to black by itself. @Franks evil genius is to whip up a story where there is no story and this one is at the bottom in a admittedly short list because his saintly genius is to point out a story where no else see it.

    Come on, looking pro in winter gear? Even the pros didn't look pro back in the day. Now maybe a little because we have choice of weather specific designed apparel. It cost an arm and 2 legs so I'm still a fan of old ski hats, plastic bags and improvising.

    But seriously, if your out and it's snowing who the heck is judging your outfit - who the hell is out there?

    And wtf is a Buff... NO don't tell me, I don't need to know some things.

    And Paolini is rocking that facial hair maybe new Rule, facial hair is encouraged for deep winter and the spring northern classics but is off after Milan San Remo.

  • @Rob

    I'm sorry, I meant to kick back and let this article just fade to black by itself. @Franks evil genius is to whip up a story where there is no story and this one is at the bottom in a admittedly short list because his saintly genius is to point out a story where no else see it.

    Come on, looking pro in winter gear? Even the pros didn't look pro back in the day. Now maybe a little because we have choice of weather specific designed apparel. It cost an arm and 2 legs so I'm still a fan of old ski hats, plastic bags and improvising.

    But seriously, if your out and it's snowing who the heck is judging your outfit - who the hell is out there?

    And wtf is a Buff... NO don't tell me, I don't need to know some things.

    And Paolini is rocking that facial hair maybe new Rule, facial hair is encouraged for deep winter and the spring northern classics but is off after Milan San Remo.

    All good points there Rob, but the face fuzz should come off BEFORE M-SR

  • Relax, relax. Sorry to cause alarm.

    By holiday bush I meant...in the bottom of my cycling stuff closet, waiting to be opened.

    And, if we do put up a holiday bush, the VMH and I walk the dogs to the local bamboo forest, cut some smaller shoots and then tie them together. How's that?

  • @wiscot, I am open to any variation to the rule... Mainly because I do not rock face fuzz.

    @Ron that sounds great, I can now do the same in S. FL, where do you live?

    @All Murcans, happy gobbler day hope you all have the time for a pre or post dinner ride!

  • @GogglesPizano

    @RobSandy

    I like wearing a Buff under my helmet. Should I just leave?

    A buff is an essential piece of kit if you ask me. If done right you can totally rock a Buff. there was a pic of Paolini at Milan San Remo in a buff a few months back that had plenty of V in it

    I'm very relieved. Actually, I don't care. especially for commuting, it's brilliant. Keeps my ears warm and doesn't require helmet adjustment to fit underneath.

    For those not in the know, a Buff is a tube of stretchy microfibre. You can do all sorts with it (I used to work in an outdoor shop and we had a video of a guy making all sorts of hats with it on a loop - if I ever meet him I'll kill him), but I tend to go for either the neck gaiter or a semi-balaclava/ear warmer effect.

    V branded Buffs?

  • @RobSandy

    @GogglesPizano

    @RobSandy

    I like wearing a Buff under my helmet. Should I just leave?

    A buff is an essential piece of kit if you ask me. If done right you can totally rock a Buff. there was a pic of Paolini at Milan San Remo in a buff a few months back that had plenty of V in it

    I'm very relieved. Actually, I don't care. especially for commuting, it's brilliant. Keeps my ears warm and doesn't require helmet adjustment to fit underneath.

    For those not in the know, a Buff is a tube of stretchy microfibre. You can do all sorts with it (I used to work in an outdoor shop and we had a video of a guy making all sorts of hats with it on a loop - if I ever meet him I'll kill him), but I tend to go for either the neck gaiter or a semi-balaclava/ear warmer effect.

    V branded Buffs?

    A V - Branded Buff....  interesting idea - if you are wearing a Buff rule#5 and rule#9 are likely in play ...  I like it!

  • @GogglesPizano

    @RobSandy

    @GogglesPizano

    @RobSandy

    I like wearing a Buff under my helmet. Should I just leave?

    A buff is an essential piece of kit if you ask me. If done right you can totally rock a Buff. there was a pic of Paolini at Milan San Remo in a buff a few months back that had plenty of V in it

    I'm very relieved. Actually, I don't care. especially for commuting, it's brilliant. Keeps my ears warm and doesn't require helmet adjustment to fit underneath.

    For those not in the know, a Buff is a tube of stretchy microfibre. You can do all sorts with it (I used to work in an outdoor shop and we had a video of a guy making all sorts of hats with it on a loop - if I ever meet him I'll kill him), but I tend to go for either the neck gaiter or a semi-balaclava/ear warmer effect.

    V branded Buffs?

    A V - Branded Buff.... interesting idea - if you are wearing a Buff Rule #5 and Rule #9 are likely in play ... I like it!

    Utility aside, I just can't get with the name. Like you should wear it with a shrug while sitting on a plouffe with your dainty hands in a muff. Call it a fucking collar or V-channelling cone or something.

Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

8 years ago