Categories: Accessories and GearLa Vie VelominatusLook ProRantings from the V-Bunker

Goldilocks Principle: The Golden Ratio

The Goldilocks Principle in full effect.

There is a disturbance in the V. I have felt it for some time, and I suspect many of you have as well. The matter has to do with the ever increasing length of bibshorts and socks, approaching the knee like two lionesses stalking their prey in the savanna.

Tracing back to the origin of this trend, we find ourselves irrevocably wagging our judging finger at none other than Lance Armstrong. Personally, I find his foray into tall, black socks and long bibshorts far more offensive than his doping; at least his doping respected the history of the sport whereas his choice of sock and bib length was an affront to taste and style with long lasting effect.

Sock lengths have been heading steadily upwards over the past decade; once the only sock available was a white 3/4 sock but today we have socks of all lengths, shapes, and sizes. Bibshorts used to be mid-thigh or less, whereas now they fall just shy of the knee. It is outrageous and the Pros, to whom we look to for cues on style, are setting the trend. It is a disgrace.

I say enough is enough. This foul trend must come to an end. We cultivate our massive guns with great pride, yet these cover their magnificence with long shorts and socks.

Reveal the V in order to Feel the V. Bibshorts must not migrate below the uppermost point of the inverted V created by our quadriceps.
Avoid the chokehold. As much as we want to Reveal The V, we don’t want to go around choking the flow off by wearing our bibs too high. Bibshorts should come at least to the midpoint of the thigh.
Sockless is about as bad as riding in a speedo (I’m looking at you, triathletes.) A fellow joined a group ride not too long ago wearing ankle socks and I made him go sort that shit out before we started the ride. Some things just aren’t done.
Compression socks are for recovery only. Maybe not even that. And knee-high socks or only for sassy women Cyclocrossers. Maybe. But they absolutely, unequivocally are not for riding on the road. Seriously.
Settle into Zone 3. Just like training in zones, we want to keep our socks in the right zones as well. The optimum sock length rests at a point of your choosing within a range of 2cm above or below the narrowest point of your shin.

Help stave off the apocalypse and bring balance back to the V. Friends don’t let friends violation the Goldilocks Principle.

Sock length as decreed by our friend @winnipegcyclechick

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

chuckp says:

Mar 1 2016 at 8:08 am

Quite frankly, Lizzie can wear whatever the hell she wants to wear and she would still look fabulous!

For me, the "perfect" sock height is 5 inches but I do have a few 6 inch socks. And I'm one who goes against the V and incurs the wrath of @frank because I prefer "loud" socks over plain black or white (although I have those too). I kinda like "clashing" and making a "statement" with my socks. And honestly don't give a shit what anyone else thinks about it.
teleguy57 says:

Mar 1 2016 at 8:24 am

@wiscot

I adhere to the lowest level in the Pro range. Socks that length are as long as they need to be and have the advantage of showing maximum calf/ankle definition. I’m also a white sock guy. Maybe, maybe black, but colors? Never.

BTW, was there ANYTHING Hinault didn’t excel at? Certainly not in the sartorial department. That pic of him is perfection.

Oh, and Armstrong is, and always will be COTHO.

+1 @Wiscot on all your points. Although on socks I do make one exception for color in season with the appropriate jerseys and green-striped tires:
teleguy57 says:

Mar 1 2016 at 8:34 am

Thanks for the comments.

@Buck Rogers I've posted a number of pics here before, but darned if search is letting me find them. I have a few spring tuning things to do (bar tape etc) and then I'll put up a few more pics.

Ti Gran Paradiso designed for all-day riding. Has Dario's D-11 headset with a slightly oversized headtube for add'l front end stiffness while still using a 1 1/8" straight steerer. Campag.

@kixsand I picked up the wheels from a state podium-level Bontrager-sponsored CX guy; they were his pit wheels with very little use. They have the older carbon XXX Light hubs with J-bend vs straight spokes; team issue with the white spokes. Verrrry nice in the 35mm rim height and the SCs are a sweet tubular. Although I have to say my Shamal Ultra tubular wheels are really, really close in performance, and brake better in the wet.
Buck Rogers says:

Mar 1 2016 at 9:38 am

Sagan doing the WC jersey justice wearing the black bibs over the weekend. He and Lizzie must use the same tailor.
Buck Rogers says:

Mar 1 2016 at 9:40 am

@teleguy57

Thanks for the comments.

@Buck Rogers I’ve posted a number of pics here before, but darned if search is letting me find them. I have a few spring tuning things to do (bar tape etc) and then I’ll put up a few more pics.

Ti Gran Paradiso designed for all-day riding. Has Dario’s D-11 headset with a slightly oversized headtube for add’l front end stiffness while still using a 1 1/8″ straight steerer. Campag.

Ohhhhhhh, Ti. Man, I have seriously been considering Ti for this next build. Going to have to think about it some more. So beautiful, esp as Hampsten employs only the absolute finest Ti frame builders in his stable.
teleguy57 says:

Mar 1 2016 at 10:02 am

@Buck Rogers

@teleguy57

Thanks for the comments.

@Buck Rogers I’ve posted a number of pics here before, but darned if search is letting me find them. I have a few spring tuning things to do (bar tape etc) and then I’ll put up a few more pics.

Ti Gran Paradiso designed for all-day riding. Has Dario’s D-11 headset with a slightly oversized headtube for add’l front end stiffness while still using a 1 1/8″ straight steerer. Campag.

Ohhhhhhh, Ti. Man, I have seriously been considering Ti for this next build. Going to have to think about it some more. So beautiful, esp as Hampsten employs only the absolute finest Ti frame builders in his stable.

You have to talk to Steve.

Mine was welded by Max Kullaway. I think he's really occupied with his 333Fab stuff, so Steve's having Kent Eriksen do the ti frames now. You're right; they are both among the finest around.

I recall at one point @frank threatened to talk to Steve about a personal bike; haven't seen anything posted here so don't know where that went.
The Pressure says:

Mar 1 2016 at 10:08 am

@Oli

The guns ready to fire but...Oli there has to be a better way to show your patriotism?? And again the lead photo, perfection.
Buck Rogers says:

Mar 1 2016 at 10:09 am

@Teocalli

Where did you get the V socks? Those are awesome and I do not see them for sale on the Gear page.
Buck Rogers says:

Mar 1 2016 at 10:13 am

@teleguy57

@Buck Rogers

You have to talk to Steve.

Mine was welded by Max Kullaway. I think he’s really occupied with his 333Fab stuff, so Steve’s having Kent Eriksen do the ti frames now. You’re right; they are both among the finest around.

I recall at one point @frank threatened to talk to Steve about a personal bike; haven’t seen anything posted here so don’t know where that went.

I'm afraid to talk to Steve!!! The VMH is a Saint but she is not to be pushed too far!!!

I will be buying the frame in late 2016/early 2017 so I have some time. Really thinking about Jaegher/Hamspten/Walker and straight going with Eriksen. Still stuck between Ti and new steel. I already have my Groupo now and just bought some new Speedplay zero pave' pedals. Later this fall will be the wheelset. EXCITING times to say the least, but Man, I love your bike!
Teocalli says:

Mar 1 2016 at 10:15 am

@Buck Rogers

@Teocalli

Where did you get the V socks? Those are awesome and I do not see them for sale on the Gear page.

They used to be on the gear page. Mine are a couple of years old (keep them for special rides). We'll have to beat up on @frank to get them back (nothing new there then!).