Goldilocks Principle: The Golden Ratio
There is a disturbance in the V. I have felt it for some time, and I suspect many of you have as well. The matter has to do with the ever increasing length of bibshorts and socks, approaching the knee like two lionesses stalking their prey in the savanna.
Tracing back to the origin of this trend, we find ourselves irrevocably wagging our judging finger at none other than Lance Armstrong. Personally, I find his foray into tall, black socks and long bibshorts far more offensive than his doping; at least his doping respected the history of the sport whereas his choice of sock and bib length was an affront to taste and style with long lasting effect.
Sock lengths have been heading steadily upwards over the past decade; once the only sock available was a white 3/4 sock but today we have socks of all lengths, shapes, and sizes. Bibshorts used to be mid-thigh or less, whereas now they fall just shy of the knee. It is outrageous and the Pros, to whom we look to for cues on style, are setting the trend. It is a disgrace.
I say enough is enough. This foul trend must come to an end. We cultivate our massive guns with great pride, yet these cover their magnificence with long shorts and socks.
- Reveal the V in order to Feel the V. Bibshorts must not migrate below the uppermost point of the inverted V created by our quadriceps.
- Avoid the chokehold. As much as we want to Reveal The V, we don’t want to go around choking the flow off by wearing our bibs too high. Bibshorts should come at least to the midpoint of the thigh.
- Sockless is about as bad as riding in a speedo (I’m looking at you, triathletes.) A fellow joined a group ride not too long ago wearing ankle socks and I made him go sort that shit out before we started the ride. Some things just aren’t done.
- Compression socks are for recovery only. Maybe not even that. And knee-high socks or only for sassy women Cyclocrossers. Maybe. But they absolutely, unequivocally are not for riding on the road. Seriously.
- Settle into Zone 3. Just like training in zones, we want to keep our socks in the right zones as well. The optimum sock length rests at a point of your choosing within a range of 2cm above or below the narrowest point of your shin.
Help stave off the apocalypse and bring balance back to the V. Friends don’t let friends violation the Goldilocks Principle.
Sock length as decreed by our friend @winnipegcyclechick
The Goldilocks Principle in its purest form.
I cannot take my eyes off the lead photo!
Class Lass!
Hand knit, no show, wool socks, made by mom, are the way to go. Why would I want them any longer?My ankles aren’t getting cold and I want to show them off. They are, after all, as sexy as the rest of me.
@Kevin
It confuses my brain, the bike and the babe are both gorgeous. I can’t decide what to look at.
I’ll be the first to post in defense of the pros. The professional teams are all sponsored, from head-to-toe, by some very major cycling apparel brands. These misguided apparel designers obviously are oblivious of the Rules. I have listened to their argument that a longer set of bibs provide muscle compression which, in theory, can help reduce gun fatigue. They also argue that a longer length bib short can have a marginal aero advantage when the right materials are used. Regardless of their rationale, the pros must wear what the team sponsors provide. I would like to see a pro, any pro, eschew the long bib shorts by rolling under the bottom third of the leg and thus showing the apparel sponsors and other self-respecting pros how a kit is to be worn.
I can not argue in defense of the non-pro who purchases these “fashionable” long legged shorts or too tall/too small sock. That is on you brothers and sisters and your tan lines are going to suck!
Per the guide, one’s name must also be Tiffany to be in Zone 5
She just plain looks the business that photo. Perfect example of fucking everything/
@Kevin
Yes. This photo is quite possibly the best that I’ve ever seen on this page. Or anywhere.
This also reminds me of a story: I ride and train with a great group of guys who take pride in looking fantastic on and off the bike. As we preach, looking fantastic is directly correlated to riding fantastic. If your training partners are anything like mine, you enjoy talking smack and jump at the first chance given. Everyone is fair game on the road and the good natured ribbing always helps make the hard efforts more enjoyable. So, the moment when one of our most experienced, strongest and winningest teammates showed up for a session in his new Rapha long legged kit, the game was on. Without his knowledge, we decided to play a few tricks. During the warm-up, he moved to the front. He signaled left and turned, we continued straight. He fought hard to get back to us and apologized, “I though we were heading south”. The paceline formed and we had him pull into the headwind for longer than normal rotations. He began to catch on that today was his day when, riding two abreast, no one would ride next to him. At our coffee stop, he sat down at our usual table and 7 of us walked past to sit around the corner. We all had a great laugh until we left the coffee shoppe and he, without mercy, began to rip our legs off. Touché. Now he only wears that kit with knee or leg warmers.
Love this line – ” Personally, I find his foray into tall, black socks and long bibshorts far more offensive than his doping; at least his doping respected the history of the sport whereas his choice of sock and bib length was an affront to taste and style with long lasting effect.”
You guys comin or what?
@asyax
Yes, that made me laugh out loud in the office.
What a fantastic lead photo. Instead of all the words we write about looking Fantastic can we just use that picture instead?
And can someone tell me who the very first picture in the slideshow is? It’s driving me nuts.
@RobSandy
Bernard Hinault
@Sparty
Oh it’s based on science. Silly me I thought it was the marketing dept wanting a bigger billboard.
@RobSandy
Its Hinault. TDF Prologue 1981. Stud.
(yep, I looked it up).
@Harminator
Thought it must be but doesn’t really look like him. He’s got the right grimace though.
@Oli
Green & Gold! I love Australia too, Oli but I wear All Black socks.
question- This is possibly one of the first articles I’ve read in recent history (the past 3ish years) where Armstrong wasn’t referred to as Pharmstrong, COTHO, or some other name. Has he served his suspension in the eyes of the Velominati?
@hudson
Nope.
God DAMN! My day is complete now after viewing this picture.
(suppose I should read the article at some point but not until after a ride inspired by the one and only Tommeke)
Solid colors for socks. If you must, no more than one stripe. Browsing the DeFeet website and thinking of that zany pink repeating graphic? Don’t do it. No one thinks it’s funny.
@Oli
Can we see a full shot of that bike?
@Buck Rogers
I’ve been thinking that a pair of White Ladies is in order for a while now, but this may have just pushed me over the top.
@hudson
My motto is WWTommekeD in almost all things in life: Should I ride or lay about? Ride. How long should my socks be? Perfect length. I have a free weekend: Hookers and blow … well, maybe not the last one.
@hudson
He will continue to be a punchline for time immemorial.
@EBruner
LOVE the bike. Is it yours???
As for the lengths: Shorts too long and socks too short, no? Maybe the socks are just cutting it.
@Buck Rogers
Yeah it’s mine. I can’t say I disagree with about my shorts. I think my socks make the cut by a hair.
@EBruner
Holy SHIT!!! That’s your bike??? That is fucking awesome! Beautiful!!! I am not a “carbon” guy but that bike could almost sway me into buying one! And the Campag groupo as well! Is that a 2014 SR Groupo?Perfect! What a ride!
One of the challenges with manufacturers going longer with big length is that those of us who are too fat to climb need to size up to not get strangled in EuroPro cut clothing. That exacerbates the leg length issue. But then, bulges when in the drops also are contrary to looking fantastic, so guilty on multiple counts.
The bike however, does look fantastic!
@Buck Rogers
Thanks man. I prefer steel most the time, but I could not resist the TFD 86 ltd that Greg had Time build a few years ago. Yes, it is a 2014 Super Record EPS group. Cheers!
@teleguy57
I hear you on the to fat to climb one size up bib conundrum.
I’m prepared to give Wiggo a pass on the socks as he’s in process of crushing the hour record there.
@EBruner
Very nice! My 2014 SR Groupo is arriving today!!! I am building a bike over the next year or two and I found a great deal on one. I have always dreamed of riding with Campagnolo, cannot wait!
@teleguy57
God LORD! Talk about bike porn! First a Limited LeMan and now a Hampsten! You guys are killing me here! Is the Hampsten a Ti or steel. I need more photos and specs of that beauty!
@Buck Rogers
2nd, everything buck was just said, that’s gorgeous.
I adhere to the lowest level in the Pro range. Socks that length are as long as they need to be and have the advantage of showing maximum calf/ankle definition. I’m also a white sock guy. Maybe, maybe black, but colors? Never.
BTW, was there ANYTHING Hinault didn’t excel at? Certainly not in the sartorial department. That pic of him is perfection.
Oh, and Armstrong is, and always will be COTHO.
@teleguy57
Digging those Bontrager wheels with the white spokes and the Vittoria tyres — very nice.
@wiscot
What no colours type as in never ever?
Quite frankly, Lizzie can wear whatever the hell she wants to wear and she would still look fabulous!
For me, the “perfect” sock height is 5 inches but I do have a few 6 inch socks. And I’m one who goes against the V and incurs the wrath of @frank because I prefer “loud” socks over plain black or white (although I have those too). I kinda like “clashing” and making a “statement” with my socks. And honestly don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about it.
@wiscot
+1 @Wiscot on all your points. Although on socks I do make one exception for color in season with the appropriate jerseys and green-striped tires:
Thanks for the comments.
@Buck Rogers I’ve posted a number of pics here before, but darned if search is letting me find them. I have a few spring tuning things to do (bar tape etc) and then I’ll put up a few more pics.
Ti Gran Paradiso designed for all-day riding. Has Dario’s D-11 headset with a slightly oversized headtube for add’l front end stiffness while still using a 1 1/8″ straight steerer. Campag.
@kixsand I picked up the wheels from a state podium-level Bontrager-sponsored CX guy; they were his pit wheels with very little use. They have the older carbon XXX Light hubs with J-bend vs straight spokes; team issue with the white spokes. Verrrry nice in the 35mm rim height and the SCs are a sweet tubular. Although I have to say my Shamal Ultra tubular wheels are really, really close in performance, and brake better in the wet.
Sagan doing the WC jersey justice wearing the black bibs over the weekend. He and Lizzie must use the same tailor.
@teleguy57
Ohhhhhhh, Ti. Man, I have seriously been considering Ti for this next build. Going to have to think about it some more. So beautiful, esp as Hampsten employs only the absolute finest Ti frame builders in his stable.
@Buck Rogers
You have to talk to Steve.
Mine was welded by Max Kullaway. I think he’s really occupied with his 333Fab stuff, so Steve’s having Kent Eriksen do the ti frames now. You’re right; they are both among the finest around.
I recall at one point @frank threatened to talk to Steve about a personal bike; haven’t seen anything posted here so don’t know where that went.
@Oli
The guns ready to fire but…Oli there has to be a better way to show your patriotism?? And again the lead photo, perfection.
@Teocalli
Where did you get the V socks? Those are awesome and I do not see them for sale on the Gear page.
@teleguy57
I’m afraid to talk to Steve!!! The VMH is a Saint but she is not to be pushed too far!!!
I will be buying the frame in late 2016/early 2017 so I have some time. Really thinking about Jaegher/Hamspten/Walker and straight going with Eriksen. Still stuck between Ti and new steel. I already have my Groupo now and just bought some new Speedplay zero pave’ pedals. Later this fall will be the wheelset. EXCITING times to say the least, but Man, I love your bike!
@Buck Rogers
They used to be on the gear page. Mine are a couple of years old (keep them for special rides). We’ll have to beat up on @frank to get them back (nothing new there then!).