Categories: Accessories and GearLook Pro

Look Pro: Dress for Success

A cold morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.

Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.

A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.

Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.

Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.

Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Chris says:

Feb 6 2014 at 4:12 am

@Teocalli

@Chris

For "proper" rides, I never seem to need to look beyond my regular bibs and jersey paired up with base layers, leg & arm warmers, gilet and or softshell jacket as appropriate.

Ha Ha. With that list and all the plurals in there I'm not surprised. You'd only need to add an overcoat for the full set.

Combinations of those components not the sum of...

Although sometimes I feel like I need them all on club runs to stop myself freezing to death during the interminably long cake stops.
Ron says:

Feb 6 2014 at 4:35 am

@EBruner

And That is why we call you people "damn" Yankees. You fucking move to our region, and run your damn mouth about how much smarter you are.

It has nothing to do with "smarter," but strictly with the fact that I like to spend more than a few weeks a year outdoors. Just as this article implores, pull on the right gear & get the heck out there.

Also, I watched "Terms of Endearment" over the weekend with the VMH. Classic when Lithgow tells the checkout gal, "You can't talk to people like that, you have to be nice." I was being nice. "You must be from New York then." The VMH rolled her eyes.
antihero says:

Feb 6 2014 at 5:03 am

@Ron

@EBruner

And That is why we call you people "damn" Yankees. You fucking move to our region, and run your damn mouth about how much smarter you are.

Also, I watched "Terms of Endearment" over the weekend with the VMH. Classic when Lithgow tells the checkout gal, "You can't talk to people like that, you have to be nice." I was being nice. "You must be from New York then." The VMH rolled her eyes.

Yes. Here in the South we have the quaint custom of requiring that people have manners and show respect. This is primarily because we're all armed to the fucking teeth, and the understanding is that a serious breach of etiquette may result in an exchange of fire.

The "Harvard of The South" is Vanderbilt University, and @Ron obviously has a grievance against the femme undergrads. @Ron, I suggest the application of 20 repeats of Pulltight Hill, followed by a long meditation on the merits of young women in yoga pants whilst recovering at the Yazoo brewery.
Quasar says:

Feb 6 2014 at 5:13 am

I just had to register to argue with this one!

I assure you, this statement is perfectly valid in Iceland. It only takes one winter of commuting to permanently burn it into your brain. In fact it may only take one day as all four seasons can make an appearance during a single 15 km commute.
Teocalli says:

Feb 6 2014 at 5:20 am

@antihero

20 repeats of Pulltight Hill, followed by a long meditation on the merits of young women in yoga pants whilst recovering at the Yazoo brewery.

I was just contemplating the name of the road with the context above and looking for a different lunchtime rain loop on the map here and noticed that my planned loop goes down French Lane into Screw Corner Road which then goes past Mount Pleasant and Halnacker Copse.....
Buck Rogers says:

Feb 6 2014 at 5:21 am

@frank

@PedallingTom

@Jon

I like this site. A lot of people do. It's fun and many of its rules and posts are tongue in cheek. If you don't like or don't get it, leaving is as simple as closing your browser!

This fuck'in killed me this morning.
wiscot says:

Feb 6 2014 at 5:25 am

@frank

@Jamie

"Too cold is better than too hot," works fine for that 90 minute training ride.

Beyond that, I'd much rather be stuck with too much clothing than with too little. On cold weather rides of over three hours, I often find myself chilled even if I am sweating. There is nothing easy about getting in 150+ km in 0- Celsius conditions.

Oh, please. Talk to me after 250 solo in the rain at 0C. Uphill both ways!

A wise man pointed out that staying warm like that comes down to your hat. Get a good winter cycling cap and you will stay toasty warm all day.

An even wiser man (the late Shug Donald of the Regent CC) used to say (in the 80s) when folk complained about gear not properly protecting them against the shitty Scottish elements, "The only think that keeps ye dry is the fuckin' hoose!" Would loved to have heard what he would say about the folks who wear full winter gear with temps in the 60s.
wiscot says:

Feb 6 2014 at 5:27 am

@Ron

I've given up on embrocation - it burns my legs for hours afterwards and only seems to do a so-so job during the ride. Maybe it's user error.

wiscot - I've calmed down, thanks for the advice and consideration though! Actually, I had just returned from a ride. I had been inside all day so when I block out all the insanity of the world for eight hours, as opposed to diving right in for a morning commute, it's even more shocking. I try to stay positive, but when the "smartest" of the next generation are just as selfish and stupid as everyone else, it shakes my hope for a brighter future.

Oooh, you and Larry Joe Bird are alums! Actually, did he ever earn (or be gifted) his degree from ISU?

I'm sure ISU gave Larry Bird (aka the ugliest white man to ever play in the NBA, and lets-not-talk-about-the-mustache) a degree. He put them on the map for sure. The hick from French Lick was ugly, but applied Rule V in the fullest way possible on the basketball court.
unversio says:

Feb 6 2014 at 6:02 am

Footwear development process from Mavic on Vimeo.
Cyclops says:

Feb 6 2014 at 6:34 am

I started "living the dream" again by working at a bike shop again. I like that they carry Endura's clothing line but I loathe the number of YJAs hanging on the racks.