Categories: Accessories and GearLook Pro

Look Pro: Dress for Success

A cold morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.

Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.

A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.

Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.

Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.

Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next The Perfect Amount of Dumb »

Previous « On Rule #6: Resistance

View Comments

Gianni says:

Feb 6 2014 at 10:41 am

@antihero

The "Harvard of The South" is Vanderbilt University, and @Ron obviously has a grievance against the femme undergrads. @Ron, I suggest the application of 20 repeats of Pulltight Hill, followed by a long meditation on the merits of young women in yoga pants whilst recovering at the Yazoo brewery.

Damn them, they told me Tulane University was the "Harvard of the South" when I went there for one year. How many Harvards of the South are needed?
Gianni says:

Feb 6 2014 at 10:47 am

@frank

Sorry my man, if I have sullied your image. It was not my intent.

No worries, my image is pretty sullied already on this site. And it should have been your intent.
cyclebrarian says:

Feb 6 2014 at 10:48 am

@Cjcosgrove

Very interesting and probably why the doctor (who was a very sweet man) sounded like a Drill Sgt. when he said it.
wiscot says:

Feb 6 2014 at 11:01 am

@Gianni

@antihero

The "Harvard of The South" is Vanderbilt University, and @Ron obviously has a grievance against the femme undergrads. @Ron, I suggest the application of 20 repeats of Pulltight Hill, followed by a long meditation on the merits of young women in yoga pants whilst recovering at the Yazoo brewery.

Damn them, they told me Tulane University was the "Harvard of the South" when I went there for one year. How many Harvards of the South are needed?

Maybe Harvard is the Tulane of the north?
cyclebrarian says:

Feb 6 2014 at 11:09 am

@Ron
Me and all my friends growing up wanted to be Larry Legend. All we did (even in the winter months) is play basketball after school and on the weekends. I miss those days.
Chris says:

Feb 6 2014 at 11:12 am

@PeakInTwoYears

@Mike_P

Oh bollox - you know I'm going to have to go base layer shopping now!! Where's that Rapha catalogue?

No, dude. Go to DeFeet for base layers.

Absolutely, I've got merino base layers from both companies; they're both good but if the the DeFeet one isn't in the laudry pile, it's the one i'll go for every time.
Chris says:

Feb 6 2014 at 11:16 am

@frank

@Chris

@Mike_P

...I don't give a crap what my base layers look like, but everything above that needs to be just so...

Nope. It needs to start with the base layer. The process of building up the feeling of awesomeness is a complex one requiring that each layer is just so. Any weak link in the process and the illusion might crumble at the first turn of the pedal.

I think this depends on your level of OCD. I'm with you, but I can understand @Mike_P's position if he's less gifted in in obsessive behavior.

I never thought of myself as OCD in anyway but over the last couple of years it's been creeping in here and there. Not sure whats brought it on; the need to have everything just so when cycling, a futile defiance at the constant mess created by three kids, a bit of both or a gentle decline into being an angry old fart.
ChrissyOne says:

Feb 6 2014 at 11:21 am

@PeakInTwoYears

@frank

those temps, I'd wear a cotton cycling cap and possibly take it off if I overheat while climbing.

I don't reach for the wooly hat unless its a little colder usually.

That was Sunday's ride I was describing, and I got an ice cream headache on one of the descents while wearing a thin wool cap. And I even grew my buzzcut out for the winter.

Toandos Peninsula, between Hood Canal and Dabob Bay? Some decent climbing, but the ridge is always fucking cold and usually windy and wet. @ChrissyOne's LOTRs references resonate there.

My rides were on the Key Peninsula down here in the south. I feel you pain (when I can feel my fingers, that is). This morning's motorcycle ride in 19 degree temp almost cost me a few. >.
The Oracle says:

Feb 6 2014 at 11:24 am

@Ron

Is Marcel K. trying to steal the SHITPP (Shortest Hemline in the PRO Peloton) crown from Tommy V.? Maybe just soaking up the Dubai sun before heading back to Europe, in case the weather in the early going is like last year.

Surely, Marcel is not going to engage in multiple "hemlines," as that would risk violation of Rule 7.
The Oracle says:

Feb 6 2014 at 11:25 am

@Teocalli

@The Oracle

I'm surprised at the rant, @mrs.engine. Surely you've been around this site long enough to understand that obsessive niggling over the tiniest details of kit is one of the hallmarks of the Velominati?

I think @mrs.engine is pointing out that clearly we are in touch with our feminine side........

Yet another hallmark...