Categories: Accessories and GearLook Pro

Look Pro: Dress for Success

A cold morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.

Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.

A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.

Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.

Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.

Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

@ mrs engine says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:06 pm

Jeez, you lot are worse than Joan Rivers and the Fashion Police on E! News. Quote; @AI_S, Problem with most bib tights is that they're just so garish - Dahling! OOH, what is a a boy to wear? Leg warmers on, or leg warmers off? To thermal or not to thermal? The black kit with the red trim or the white kit with the black trim? Choices, choices. Do not ever criticize your wives/partners for taking so long to get ready ever again! Ya big load of Jessies! (as we say in Sunny Scotland @Marcus)
PeakInTwoYears says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:07 pm

You people be nice to Jon. Anybody entertaining enough to tell the founder of the site that he's not welcome around theses parts needs to be encouraged to stick around. It could just be Frank having us on because he's bored at work.
unversio says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:15 pm

@PeakInTwoYears It could be Campagnolo Vince!
roger says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:15 pm

embro is your friend. First week of february in new england, if the sun is out...tights stay in.
Cjcosgrove says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:32 pm

@Jon

I for one have enjoyed the responses to @Jon's post. The tangents and wit have been entertaining and have kept me coming back to the posts. If @Jon's post was done earnestly though (and not some ruse to induce a response) then I have to point out there are remedies, but no cures for dumbassness.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:40 pm

@Cjcosgrove

You're @Jon, aren't you?
PeakInTwoYears says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:50 pm

Back on topic. Indulge me with a response.

You're heading out for an 80- to 100-km ride. There are five rated climbs on the route, with corresponding descents. It's 5 degrees centigrade (celsius, whatever the fuck you call it) at home, and part of the route--after a sustained climb--follows a ridge line that's always colder than anyplace else around. It's not raining now, but it's quite liable to. It's not windy at home, but it's always windy on parts of the route. What are you wearing on top, including under your helmet?
Cjcosgrove says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:51 pm

@PeakInTwoYears

Unfortunately not. He may be the Unibomber though.
Cjcosgrove says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:58 pm

@PeakInTwoYears

Back on topic. Indulge me with a response.

You're heading out for an 80- to 100-km ride. There are five rated climbs on the route, with corresponding descents. It's 5 degrees centigrade (celsius, whatever the fuck you call it) at home, and part of the route-after a sustained climb-follows a ridge line that's always colder than anyplace else around. It's not raining now, but it's quite liable to. It's not windy at home, but it's always windy on parts of the route. What are you wearing on top, including under your helmet?

Base layer, jersey (long sleeve), gilet and wind jacket with a rain cape in the pocket just in case. Down below, regular shorts and leg warmers (the legs never get cold). Under the helmet, cap with ear warmers. That and THICK gloves. The mitts get cold after all.
Ron says:

Feb 5 2014 at 4:59 pm

I've given up on embrocation - it burns my legs for hours afterwards and only seems to do a so-so job during the ride. Maybe it's user error.

wiscot - I've calmed down, thanks for the advice and consideration though! Actually, I had just returned from a ride. I had been inside all day so when I block out all the insanity of the world for eight hours, as opposed to diving right in for a morning commute, it's even more shocking. I try to stay positive, but when the "smartest" of the next generation are just as selfish and stupid as everyone else, it shakes my hope for a brighter future.

Oooh, you and Larry Joe Bird are alums! Actually, did he ever earn (or be gifted) his degree from ISU?