Look Pro: Dress for Success

A cold morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.

Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.

A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.

Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.

Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.

  • Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
  • Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
  • Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
  • Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
  • No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.
frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    Back on topic. Indulge me with a response.

    You're heading out for an 80- to 100-km ride. There are five rated climbs on the route, with corresponding descents. It's 5 degrees centigrade (celsius, whatever the fuck you call it) at home, and part of the route-after a sustained climb-follows a ridge line that's always colder than anyplace else around. It's not raining now, but it's quite liable to. It's not windy at home, but it's always windy on parts of the route. What are you wearing on top, including under your helmet?

    A plane ticket for the next flight to somewhere nicer

  • @ruud

    A-Merckx to all of that! But when you start out cold, especially if the exiting side of your house has been getting sun and little wind, it's good to bring a little vest for if the warming up disappoints. It's also nice to be able to reach for a gilet during hour three, when the wind begins to get a grip on your now damp layers (not applicable when you start out wearing a jacket).

    Merckx on a crutch, have I made that mistake in spades. No gilet, regular kit and arm warmers, the lads head out from my house which was in the lee of a cold wind. We were on a point to point 140km ride. We realized a mile from home we were under-dressed but fuck it, it has to warm up. It can't be this cold and windy the whole way? Yes, actually. What transpired was one of the most uncomfortable rides ever. I would have given a lot for a simple windproof gilet. That garment is the most important one of all. I think I stuffed mine in a jersey pocket every ride for the next two years, just in case.

  • Just like I enjoy how tiny changes (a zipper moved up/down a few centimeters) can make everything much better, I'm also constantly amazed how something like a flimsy gilet is the difference between an enjoyable ride and hell on wheels. The details certainly matter!

    Also, this article is perfect for anyone not understanding the Rules or the discussion of the small details. I don't wander about the night before an early morning winter ride wondering what I'm going to wear because I simply start with the basic kit and add additional bit as necessary. Life is easier when it is simplified!

  • @ruud

    A-Merckx to all of that! But when you start out cold, especially if the exiting side of your house has been getting sun and little wind, it's good to bring a little vest for if the warming up disappoints. It's also nice to be able to reach for a gilet during hour three, when the wind begins to get a grip on your now damp layers (not applicable when you start out wearing a jacket).

    This is the beauty of layering, my man. You can take it off or put it on again later - especially if the temps actually change during the ride.

    The point is, however, if you leave the house at a comfy temp, you'll be shedding some of those layers within minutes.

  • @Ron

    Goddamn, I needed this!

    As a northern at heart, and soul, now living in the Southern U.S. I'm routinely fucking shocked at what I see other cyclists wearing on cool-ish days. I'll have added nothing more than arm warmers and I'll see people in full tights, skull caps, and YJAs. No joke. It's insane. And maddening.

    While I actually like living this far south for cycling reasons (I do miss winter sports though), I also can't stand the temperature limitations of the goddamn people. If it goes above 22* they turn on the AC. If it goes below 16* the heat comes on. It's also fucking crazy. As a Northerner, I'm pretty much pumped if it's between 2-27*.

    Yup. In Nashville, TN here. People are in their Flandrian Best when it's 60F.  Go out on a fine sunny 45F afternoon in winter and there's nary a cycle in sight - too cold, everyone's on the trainer.  Lunacy.

  • @Ron

    Goddamn, I needed this!

    As a northern at heart, and soul, now living in the Southern U.S. I'm routinely fucking shocked at what I see other cyclists wearing on cool-ish days. I'll have added nothing more than arm warmers and I'll see people in full tights, skull caps, and YJAs. No joke. It's insane. And maddening.

    While I actually like living this far south for cycling reasons (I do miss winter sports though), I also can't stand the temperature limitations of the goddamn people. If it goes above 22* they turn on the AC. If it goes below 16* the heat comes on. It's also fucking crazy. As a Northerner, I'm pretty much pumped if it's between 2-27*.

    And That is why we call you people "damn" Yankees. You fucking move to our region, and run your damn mouth about how much smarter you are.

  • Good gloves are the key!  Appropriate layers elsewhere and good gloves - I am good to minus 10C.

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    Back on topic. Indulge me with a response.

    You're heading out for an 80- to 100-km ride. There are five rated climbs on the route, with corresponding descents. It's 5 degrees centigrade (celsius, whatever the fuck you call it) at home, and part of the route-after a sustained climb-follows a ridge line that's always colder than anyplace else around.

    I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned carful route planning yet, but I learned my lesson here.
    I set out on what was to be a 120km ride last week, and all was going well until the 80km mark, when I came to a long, 2k spun-out downhill that descended all the way to sea level. I went from chilly-but-comfortable to bloody bonked, like that. The next climb helped a bit, but by then I'd come back to the fog - the sun was gone and the wraiths were chasing me. I was never able to get going hard enough to warm back up. The killer-there was one more 75 meter descent to go, straight down into the Dead Marshes. That's when the MWTH slid up beside me and insisted we have a visit, so I sat down (meaning collapsed clumsily) onto the cold concrete and we chatted for a while. He encouraged me to make it an even 100km and hounded my last, miserable, shamefully agonizing 5k home. My takeaway was this: place your descents carefully.

    On Sportsball Sunday I had a bit better luck with the weather, and got in a challenging but completely manageable 130km by keeping the end of the ride more up than down. The lack of fog was another huge factor for sure, which brings me to another point - until they make the proper kit for the inside of my lungs, cold, moist air will still be the great leveler.

  • @MaLóL

    Gabba rules!!! I bet Frank has already at least a piece of Gabba equipment.

    Hellsyeah I do! Gianni bought one for his mauka showers but realized Hawaii rules way too hard for such gear. So he sent it my way and my oh my, that is a fantastic jersey.

    Stealth favorite among the Pros, too.

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