Look Pro: Dress for Success
I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.
Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.
A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.
Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.
Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.
- Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
- Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
- Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
- Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
- No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.
All good advice, and I would prefer to be too cold than too hot (says the bloke from Dubai…)
As for the quote, the version I’ve often heard and prefer, is
“There’s no such thing as the wrong weather, just the wrong clothing”.
Which I think is more in line with the sentiment of the article.
And then there was Gabba and Nanoflex.
Thanks Mum.
Gabba rules!!! I bet Frank has already at least a piece of Gabba equipment.
Speaking of bad advice, how is over-dressing a sound way to lose weight? It’s a great way to lose too much fluid, that you should immediately replace anyway.
Damn! That’s one of my favorite sayings. Hell, you probably heard it from me. Coming from northern Vermont you have to have that attitude of no bad weather or else you just cannot force yourself out the door for months at a time. Kind of fits with the last article about mental toughness.
But, in your defense, I, like usual, only looked at the photo and read the first paragraph.
Who the fuck has time to read that long of an article anyways???
@ChrisO
hmmm – I seem to remember a certain day when that may not have been true!
“Too cold is better than too hot,” works fine for that 90 minute training ride.
Beyond that, I’d much rather be stuck with too much clothing than with too little. On cold weather rides of over three hours, I often find myself chilled even if I am sweating. There is nothing easy about getting in 150+ km in 0- Celsius conditions.
I was gratified to find out early this morning that my current kit options are effective down to the mid 30s which ought to suffice for this climate. Being in FRB territory my “guns” are anything but. Just as well they are well swaddled.
I can’t get over how often I see riders around here out with uncovered knees in cold weather.
Part of the problem with colder weather kit is a lot of it looks crap. But there is good stuff out there and a velominatus should be so equipped, budget permitting.
What a lot of shite as usual. You pick up on something somebody has said, then script an article on its premise, by the end of the article your giving poor advice about bad weather cycling. What a nonce, stay on the turbo and of the roads, your not welcome round theses parts.
@the Engine is going to need a bigger wardrobe if he starts to get anymore kit. Winter, summer spring! Jeez. Am thinking we are gonna need a shipping container in the back garden to keep it all in. Actually that’s a great idea cause then he could live in it and sleep with the f****** bikes too.
@@mrs engine
This is an incentive to get us woosie southern arses in gear and come up for a visit for the Northern Cogal.
@Jon
Oh dear. Anonymous internet hardman alert.
@Jon
Another thoughtful and incisive contribution.
A-Merckx to all of that! But when you start out cold, especially if the exiting side of your house has been getting sun and little wind, it’s good to bring a little vest for if the warming up disappoints. It’s also nice to be able to reach for a gilet during hour three, when the wind begins to get a grip on your now damp layers (not applicable when you start out wearing a jacket).
For “proper” rides, I never seem to need to look beyond my regular bibs and jersey paired up with base layers, leg & arm warmers, gilet and or softshell jacket as appropriate.
The long sleeve jersey and bibs only really get used for commuting when I’ve got to sit on the train for an hour then ride across London before getting a hot shower.
@Chris
Ha Ha. With that list and all the plurals in there I’m not surprised. You’d only need to add an overcoat for the full set.
My question is how best to disseminate this info to the unknowledged masses. At the Metropolitan Defi last year, one of my buddies showed up with a HOODED hunting jacket (granted, it was 3 Celsius, raining and with 40km wind gusts).
Maybe it was my poor French, but “Hey, you can’t ride near me looking like that,” didn’t go over so well.
In his defense, he showed up and rode and wasn’t wearing a poncho or trash bags like some folks were.
+1 on the Gabba and Nanoflex. However, being a bit of a wuss I will wear my Showers Pass jacket when it’s down to around 5 deg and wet. I know it makes me look like a short fat commuter (instead of just short and fat), but it vents well enough that I can handle a variety of temps and moisture levels over the course of a ride like this last Sunday’s when conditions were kind of all over the place.
@Teocalli Anytime, just bring a 20 tog duvet cause that container gets very cold at this time of year.
@PeakInTwoYears I did invest in a Gore windproof jersey a month back. Bloomin’ brilliant, wish I had bought one ages ago. Once you keep the wind out keeping warm without turning into a Michelin advert becomes much easier – tempting to say it becomes a breeze.
@Teocalli Yes, a layer like that is on my (too long) list.
@PeakInTwoYears
My SP Elite shell has been hanging in the closet since I received their Softshell Trainer for Christmas. I confess it has been worn for xc skiing since our WI roads are either covered in salt and glazed sections or the seeming every other day 2-4/3-5/4-6 etc snowfalls (imperials measurement). Eager to put it to proper used on the bike — as I am with my Gabba jersey and Sportful No-Rain bibs and arm warmers.
I think ink both sets of clothing will be great at keeping me warm and dry while still looking as pro as possible given the raw material.
in other news, Steve told me he’s starting my new ti Hampsten Gran Paradiso today! Time to gather the few remaining bits for the build. Woohoo!
@Jon
ooh; somebody is Mr. Grumpy Pants.
@teleguy57 Do you mean the Skyline Softshell?
@teleguy57
There better be pics!
My gore phantom 2.0 solves most early season thermoregulation conundrums, but sadly, doesn’t help with early morning vaginitis when the alarm goes off to signal kit up time. If someone can make and sell me a ringtone/alarm app that plays a recording of Jens repeatedly saying, in increasingly exasperated tones, “Get up, you fat lazy pussy” I’d be a much stronger rider.
Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science.
Laughter is a good way to stay warm. Thanks, Frank.
@HMBSteve
I’m trying to figure out what “round theses parts” are. Sounds academical.
I’d really like to try Gabba. I have the Zoncolan which is a pretty nice piece of kit itself.
Unfortunately, I ordered my V-gilet too large and I make spinnaker noises at high speed.
I have a Gore windstopper jacket and a few pair of Craft storm tights that keep me going down to around 20 degrees (f). That Gore jacket probably would keep me going down into the single digits, but I wuss out once my nose and toes start to freeze.
@Jon
And hello to you too. Best be brushing up on those spellcheck skills if you plan to contribute more of your wisdom.
Problem with mist bib tights is that they’re just so garish. Even “black” ones tend to have lots of reflective bits in weird patterns. I’ve got these, with barely a label or logo present.
They still don’t look “good”, just “not shite”
The shorts (padded) meanwhile are the epitome of Rul #14. Black. Simple. Not even shiny.
@PeakInTwoYears
nope; the Softshell is the predecessor to the Skyline. SP had it on close out sale before the holidays. I haven’t looked at the difference/improvements but SP could tell you what they are.
@Jon
This midwestern hick is going to start using “What a nonce” as a regular part of his daily lexicon: “Didja see dat feller run his snow-machine inta da ice over der? What a nonce!”
@Jon Jon Jon Jon — are you really that dead inside?
@unverso I love that clip. Troll? if you acknowledge him. He wins…
@Jon
I like this site. A lot of people do. It’s fun and many of its rules and posts are tongue in cheek. If you don’t like or don’t get it, leaving is as simple as closing your browser!
One other film comes to mind.
@mrs engine ha ha, I have avision of @the engine waking up and opening the door of his bike-tainer to find he is 200km out a sea someplace.
Isnt there a cycling aphorism along the lines of “train in as much as you can bear, race in as little”? Or something like that.
Oh and if anyone trots out the line about no bad clothing, just bad weather, send them a photo of some mofo wearing the rainbow stripes, or the fat Lampre guy, etc etc.
@Jon
You use “nonce” and “shite” plus a lot of very wrong spelling (It’s you’re, not your) and make out like you know something about bad weather. I am guessing Scotland? If so, answer this, what’s cold, depressing and Scottish?
Scotland.
@unversio
such a good movie. I remember being so upset at the time that the cute blonde got iced. Now, having seen Gwyneth in other things, the impact is lessened.
@Jon
Dear Jon,
Perhaps English is not your first language. Let me offer some corrections:
What a lot of shite [comma] as usual. You pick up on something somebody has said, then script an article on its premise, by the end of the article your [you’re] giving poor advice about bad weather cycling. What a nonce, stay on the turbo and of [off] the roads, your [you’re] not welcome round [around] theses [these] parts.
Which “parts” are you referring to?
Remarkably, and appropriately, you spelled “shite” correctly. Its correct usage sums up your post perfectly.
@strathlubnaig
Doon the River Teith..
@Nate
I can’t get over how often I see riders around here in full winter kit – thermal tights, jacket, gloves, winter cap – in temperatures above 10 degrees C/50 F. That just can’t be comfortable.
@Marcus
Well at least our wildlife doesn’t try to kill us on a daily basis and we’ve more or less avoided cricket. Although our beer is shit.
Goddamn, I needed this!
As a northern at heart, and soul, now living in the Southern U.S. I’m routinely fucking shocked at what I see other cyclists wearing on cool-ish days. I’ll have added nothing more than arm warmers and I’ll see people in full tights, skull caps, and YJAs. No joke. It’s insane. And maddening.
While I actually like living this far south for cycling reasons (I do miss winter sports though), I also can’t stand the temperature limitations of the goddamn people. If it goes above 22* they turn on the AC. If it goes below 16* the heat comes on. It’s also fucking crazy. As a Northerner, I’m pretty much pumped if it’s between 2-27*.
@Marcus
Oi! Dont you be dissing Scotland, boy!
While I’m at it, I also want to fucking club all the fuckface uni undergrads who go around all winter in flip flops and t-shirts. No, I don’t dislike them because they’re fucking jerks. I want to slap them in the face because that means their dorm room is as warm as an oven, so it’s easy to walk to the dining hall in swimwear. The “Harvard of the South” with smart kids and they’re always promoting their green initiatives and half of them are probably in Earth Day Club and yet, they couldn’t be more selfish when it comes to fossil fuels. Fuck you folks. Oh, and many of them drive hand-me-down SUVs across campus, to the gym…to exercise. Hmm, wouldn’t jogging or walking there work as well?
And since we’re talking about clothing. I like looking proper on the bike. I also like looking proper off the bike. Nice pants, nice shirt, it’s easy.
So who in the hell are all these weirdos with photoblogs not only of PRO cycling but of neon sneakers, hiking boots, food, and espressos? I love cycling photos, but I don’t really fucking care about fashion, I don’t photograph my food before I eat it, and I don’t take snapshots of what I’m drinking.
It is just a very, very strange mix to me, as I couldn’t nearly summon the same passion I have for cycling for…this really scrumptious sandwich I made for lunch today. Yeah, me! I can use a toaster and a knife! (In actuality they probably paid for it, since they can’t use more than their laptop).
One thing I really love about cycling is how it separates the committed from the dabblers. You either can ride that far at that pace in that weather, or you can’t. So who are all these bastards who give a fuck about the new limited editions high tops just released? It’s fucking bizarre.
“Nonce” is more English than Scottish. North of the border, I think the preferred term is c*nt. Shite is very Scottish though. Most often applied to the weather.
@Ron
Ron: very quietly, log off, shut down the computer and go for a ride. Inside on the trainer or outside, it doesn’t matter. Just go ride and apply loads of V.
“Harvard of the South” That’s my Alma Mater, Indiana State Uni, you’re talking about, right?