Categories: Accessories and GearLook Pro

Look Pro: Dress for Success

A cold morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.

Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.

A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.

Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.

Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.

Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Feb 6 2014 at 6:47 am

@PeakInTwoYears

Back on topic. Indulge me with a response.

You're heading out for an 80- to 100-km ride. There are five rated climbs on the route, with corresponding descents. It's 5 degrees centigrade (celsius, whatever the fuck you call it) at home, and part of the route-after a sustained climb-follows a ridge line that's always colder than anyplace else around. It's not raining now, but it's quite liable to. It's not windy at home, but it's always windy on parts of the route. What are you wearing on top, including under your helmet?

Personally, I would be in either a jersey with arm warmers and gilet, or an ls jersey with gilet, depending on how hot I'd expect to get going uphill. Fold the gilet flat and tuck between the jersey and bibs on the way up, put it on/take it off while riding for all the cold bits and call it good. At those temps, I'd wear a cotton cycling cap and possibly take it off if I overheat while climbing.

I don't reach for the wooly hat unless its a little colder usually.
frank says:

Feb 6 2014 at 6:53 am

@ChrissyOne

@PeakInTwoYears

Back on topic. Indulge me with a response.

You're heading out for an 80- to 100-km ride. There are five rated climbs on the route, with corresponding descents. It's 5 degrees centigrade (celsius, whatever the fuck you call it) at home, and part of the route-after a sustained climb-follows a ridge line that's always colder than anyplace else around.

I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned carful route planning yet, but I learned my lesson here.
I set out on what was to be a 120km ride last week, and all was going well until the 80km mark, when I came to a long, 2k spun-out downhill that descended all the way to sea level. I went from chilly-but-comfortable to bloody bonked, like that. The next climb helped a bit, but by then I'd come back to the fog - the sun was gone and the wraiths were chasing me. I was never able to get going hard enough to warm back up. The killer-there was one more 75 meter descent to go, straight down into the Dead Marshes. That's when the MWTH slid up beside me and insisted we have a visit, so I sat down (meaning collapsed clumsily) onto the cold concrete and we chatted for a while. He encouraged me to make it an even 100km and hounded my last, miserable, shamefully agonizing 5k home. My takeaway was this: place your descents carefully.

Wraiths, MWTH, Death Marshes, the mixing of dork genres is expert. Top marks. Excellent story and excellent advice.

The lack of fog was another huge factor for sure, which brings me to another point - until they make the proper kit for the inside of my lungs, cold, moist air will still be the great leveler.

Man, that cold fog is the pits, ain't it? I will chill you right to the fucking bone.

As an asthmatic, that cold air will continue to be the best V02 training I can find, sucking air in through a coffee straw and all that.

@Gianni

@frank

@MaLÃ³L

Gabba rules!!! I bet Frank has already at least a piece of Gabba equipment.

Hellsyeah I do! Gianni bought one for his mauka showers but realized Hawaii rules way too hard for such gear. So he sent it my way and my oh my, that is a fantastic jersey.

Even I am not such a big pussy as that. I bought it as the nuclear option in case it rained during our KT2012 Roubaix riding. It would not be useful on Maui unless riding at the summit on those occasional snowy stormy days. Oye, that's not going to happen.

Sorry my man, if I have sullied your image. It was not my intent.
Ron says:

Feb 6 2014 at 6:59 am

@wiscot

I'm sure ISU gave Larry Bird (aka the ugliest white man to ever play in the NBA, and lets-not-talk-about-the-mustache) a degree. He put them on the map for sure. The hick from French Lick was ugly, but applied Rule V in the fullest way possible on the basketball court.

Long before I Followed the V, I followed Larry Bird. I grew up wanting to be him, sadly, I'm about a foot shorter.
teleguy57 says:

Feb 6 2014 at 7:07 am

@frank

@teleguy57

in other news, Steve told me he's starting my new ti Hampsten Gran Paradiso today! Time to gather the few remaining bits for the build. Woohoo!

HOLY FUCK HELLS YEAH!

I take this as an emphatic endorsement -- even got the plural on the second curse....
The Oracle says:

Feb 6 2014 at 7:15 am

@Ron That was rant-tastic. Thanks for that!

And as long as we're comparing schools, it has been said (by my father-in-law) that the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee is the Harvard of the Midwest.
The Oracle says:

Feb 6 2014 at 7:18 am

@@ mrs engine

Jeez, you lot are worse than Joan Rivers and the Fashion Police on E! News. Quote; @AI_S, Problem with most bib tights is that they're just so garish - Dahling! OOH, what is a a boy to wear? Leg warmers on, or leg warmers off? To thermal or not to thermal? The black kit with the red trim or the white kit with the black trim? Choices, choices. Do not ever criticize your wives/partners for taking so long to get ready ever again! Ya big load of Jessies! (as we say in Sunny Scotland @Marcus)

I'm surprised at the rant, @mrs.engine. Surely you've been around this site long enough to understand that obsessive niggling over the tiniest details of kit is one of the hallmarks of the Velominati?
ChrisO says:

Feb 6 2014 at 7:20 am

I spent an awesome day with the very well dressed guys at Team Giant-Shimano, riding in their team car on Stage 2 of the Dubai Tour - and with a win for Marcel Kittel to boot.

If I had a tail it would have been wagging.

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The Oracle says:

Feb 6 2014 at 7:21 am

@PeakInTwoYears

Back on topic. Indulge me with a response.

You're heading out for an 80- to 100-km ride. There are five rated climbs on the route, with corresponding descents. It's 5 degrees centigrade (celsius, whatever the fuck you call it) at home, and part of the route-after a sustained climb-follows a ridge line that's always colder than anyplace else around. It's not raining now, but it's quite liable to. It's not windy at home, but it's always windy on parts of the route. What are you wearing on top, including under your helmet?

I know I'd be packing a spatula so my ride partner's can peel me off the pavement after the second categorized climb.
ChrisO says:

Feb 6 2014 at 7:23 am

And this video is worthy of a post in its own right - do we do Anatomy of a Video, because this one shows beautifully the art of the water carrier and the sticky bottle.
The Oracle says:

Feb 6 2014 at 7:45 am

@ChrisO I'm not sure what I'm more jealous of, the ride-along or the warm sunshine and clear roads (it was -9F/-22C at my house this morning).