Categories: Accessories and GearLook Pro

Look Pro: Dress for Success

A cold morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.

Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.

A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.

Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.

Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.

Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

The Pressure says:

Feb 6 2014 at 6:57 pm

Ahhh...Let the slathering begin!!
wiscot says:

Feb 7 2014 at 9:14 am

@Gianni

@HMBSteve

@roger

All this "how do i dress myself" talk...you bastards cant be serious. Will gianni have to start measuring out your chamois cream next?

Perhaps application as well.

With a paint ball gun. If I can just figure out how to get the chamois creme in da balls. As it were.

Some people might pay good money for that particular scenario . . .
wiscot says:

Feb 7 2014 at 9:16 am

Personally, I use generic Vitamin A&D ointment from the drug store. Works a charm and way cheaper than that expensive stuff.
The Oracle says:

Feb 7 2014 at 9:20 am

@HMBSteve

@roger

All this "how do i dress myself" talk...you bastards cant be serious. Will gianni have to start measuring out your chamois cream next?

Perhaps application as well.

It's rare that something I read on the interwebs actually makes me snort coffee out of my nose.
Mike_P says:

Feb 7 2014 at 10:30 am

@wiscot

Personally, I use generic Vitamin A&D ointment from the drug store. Works a charm and way cheaper than that expensive stuff.

But does it have the essence of the herbs and flora of Mont Ventoux? No prizes for guessing where my lsat tub of embro came from.
Mike_P says:

Feb 7 2014 at 10:34 am

@frank

@Mike_P

@frank

@Mike_P

No excuse at any time of the year to look shit.

This. Also, the skinnier you get, the harder it is to dial in your temperature. Small drops seem to matter a lot more.

@Chris

@Mike_P

...I don't give a crap what my base layers look like, but everything above that needs to be just so...

Nope. It needs to start with the base layer. The process of building up the feeling of awesomeness is a complex one requiring that each layer is just so. Any weak link in the process and the illusion might crumble at the first turn of the pedal.

I think this depends on your level of OCD. I'm with you, but I can understand @Mike_P's position if he's less gifted in in obsessive behavior.

Your obsessive behaviour is starting to rub off on me, if you'll pardon the expression!

I'm fine with any rubbing expression so long as it doesn't end with "one out".

Coffeespit !
wiscot says:

Feb 7 2014 at 11:00 am

@Mike_P

@wiscot

Personally, I use generic Vitamin A&D ointment from the drug store. Works a charm and way cheaper than that expensive stuff.

But does it have the essence of the herbs and flora of Mont Ventoux? No prizes for guessing where my lsat tub of embro came from.

The packaging says "smells like a baby's ass."
frank says:

Feb 7 2014 at 11:02 am

@Jamie

@frank

@ChrissyOne

@Jamie

I'm planning to do the Seattle Randonneur training ride from the Auburn Fred Meyer parking lot up to Carbonado and back, rolling at 09:00 (we can start at V after if you prefer).

106km, 900 meters climbing, -4c in the morning up to maybe 3c by afternoon.

I'm open to a different route if you have one in mind.

I do that ride a lot, but I start from the River Road in Puyallup

http://www.strava.com/activities/93089504

You are on the path, Pedalwan.

So, does that mean you're in Frank?

No, I've got the weekend booked up pretty solid. Thanks though!
HMBSteve says:

Feb 7 2014 at 11:35 am

@Gianni

@HMBSteve

@roger

All this "how do i dress myself" talk...you bastards cant be serious. Will gianni have to start measuring out your chamois cream next?

Perhaps application as well.

With a paint ball gun. If I can just figure out how to get the chamois creme in da balls. As it were.

I am envisioning an inverted sort of William Tell thing......or maybe the knife thrower at the circus
GogglesPizano says:

Feb 7 2014 at 11:51 am

Speaking of looking pro .... Great pic this one. Any non-compliances? Can't see any

http://instagram.com/p/kFGTN3ILDJ/