Categories: Accessories and GearLook Pro

Look Pro: Dress for Success

A cold morning ride on Keepers Tour 2013. Photo: Brett Kennedy

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the internet) and, despite what your mother told you, there certainly are stupid questions.

Despite being so clever as to render itself useless, there is a sentiment behind the claim that should be taken seriously, and that is the notion that if one is to venture out in bad weather, one should give some consideration to dressing appropriately for it. For example, I routinely see photos of Spanish Pros riding the trainer indoors in wooly hats and leggings. I would never ride indoors with leggings because the most redeeming quality of riding indoors is that you get to stare at your guns shamelessly without worry of being spotted doing so.

A Velominatus should take care to ensure they have a complete wardrobe of kit for different kinds of weather; bibs and jerseys, of course, but also arm and knee warmers, gilets, long sleeve jerseys, overshoes, gloves, caps, winter caps, knee warmers and leggings, and even jackets or rain coats depending on where you live and what kind of weather you encounter.

Always remember that the more you’re wearing, the worse you look. That’s not an opinion – that’s science. Perfection starts with bibs and a jersey, tanned guns, and a sweet set of shades. Next in line is the Flandrian Best, but after that, it’s all downhill, ending with the unfortunate invention of thermal bibs. They may be a necessity under some circumstances, just know they look complete crap, so you will too.

Still, its better than not riding, so as you’re getting ready to kit up for the day, I advise you take into account the following considerations.

Overdressing is as bad as under dressing. Getting too hot is just as miserable as being too cold, so unless you’re deliberately overdressing in order to lose weight, dress like Goldilocks, not too hot and not too cold.
Start out cold. Dress for how hard you’ll be riding that day; I like to dress such that I am chilly for the first 15 minutes of the ride because after the blood starts pumping or you hit the first hill, your core temp will rise and you’ll be perfectly dressed.
Choose layers over bulk. Layers have the advantage that they can be combined in different ways to tune their effect. For example, a jersey with arm warmers and a gilet can be as warm as a long sleeve jersey, but allow you to shed the gilet and arm warmers if you get too warm.
Windproof is more important than waterproof. If it keeps the water out, it will keep your sweat in as well, no matter what the label says about breathability. Which means you’re getting wet anyway. Windproof layers, on the other hand, will keep the wind from getting through to those wet fabrics so you can stay warm, and breathe much better than do waterproof materials. Unless its the kind of downpour that starts the animals lining up in twos, you won’t find me in a rain jacket.
No ear muffs. If your ears get cold, get a proper winter cycling cap. We’re not savages after all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Feb 5 2014 at 8:20 pm

@Hashola

Speaking of bad advice, how is over-dressing a sound way to lose weight? It's a great way to lose too much fluid, that you should immediately replace anyway.

You obviously never saw Silver Linings Playbook.

@Buck Rogers

Damn! That's one of my favorite sayings. Hell, you probably heard it from me. Coming from northern Vermont you have to have that attitude of no bad weather or else you just cannot force yourself out the door for months at a time. Kind of fits with the last article about mental toughness.

But, in your defense, I, like usual, only looked at the photo and read the first paragraph.

Who the fuck has time to read that long of an article anyways???

+1, matey. Also, its a joke. Starts with bitching about bad advice, then gives it.
frank says:

Feb 5 2014 at 8:23 pm

@Jamie

"Too cold is better than too hot," works fine for that 90 minute training ride.

Beyond that, I'd much rather be stuck with too much clothing than with too little. On cold weather rides of over three hours, I often find myself chilled even if I am sweating. There is nothing easy about getting in 150+ km in 0- Celsius conditions.

Oh, please. Talk to me after 250 solo in the rain at 0C. Uphill both ways!

A wise man pointed out that staying warm like that comes down to your hat. Get a good winter cycling cap and you will stay toasty warm all day.
frank says:

Feb 5 2014 at 8:36 pm

@Teocalli

@PeakInTwoYears I did invest in a Gore windproof jersey a month back. Bloomin' brilliant, wish I had bought one ages ago. Once you keep the wind out keeping warm without turning into a Michelin advert becomes much easier - tempting to say it becomes a breeze.

This. This. This. This. This.

@teleguy57

in other news, Steve told me he's starting my new ti Hampsten Gran Paradiso today! Time to gather the few remaining bits for the build. Woohoo!

HOLY FUCK HELLS YEAH!
frank says:

Feb 5 2014 at 8:45 pm

@PedallingTom

@Jon

I like this site. A lot of people do. It's fun and many of its rules and posts are tongue in cheek. If you don't like or don't get it, leaving is as simple as closing your browser!
jeff says:

Feb 5 2014 at 8:51 pm

Looking forward to the arrival of the Velominati Gilet and jersey...hopefully real soon! Snow expected in Portland this weekend.
frank says:

Feb 5 2014 at 8:53 pm

@TheF

@Nate

I can't get over how often I see riders around here out with uncovered knees in cold weather.

I can't get over how often I see riders around here in full winter kit - thermal tights, jacket, gloves, winter cap - in temperatures above 10 degrees C/50 F. That just can't be comfortable.

That is worse than uncomfortable, its outrageous and inexcusable. It is also the reason we're here.
scaler911 says:

Feb 5 2014 at 8:56 pm

@Gianni

@ruud

A-Merckx to all of that! But when you start out cold, especially if the exiting side of your house has been getting sun and little wind, it's good to bring a little vest for if the warming up disappoints. It's also nice to be able to reach for a gilet during hour three, when the wind begins to get a grip on your now damp layers (not applicable when you start out wearing a jacket).

Merckx on a crutch, have I made that mistake in spades. No gillet, regular kit and arm warmers, the lads head out from my house which was in the lee of a cold wind. We were on a point to point 140km ride. We realized a mile from home we were under-dressed but fuck it, it has to warm up. It can't be this cold and windy the whole way? Yes, actually. What transpired was one of the most uncomfortable rides ever. I would have given a lot for a simple windproof gillet. That garment is the most important one of all. I think I stuffed mine in a jersey pocket every ride for the next two years, just in case.

Dude, if you tell me this happened to you on Hawaii, I'm going to fly over and throat punch you (then buy you a few beers, followed up by a ride the next day).

February on a 160K ride, somewhere near the top of "Three Mile Climb" it started snowing. Not the light dry snow that just blows around, but the 1C snow that is heavy, wet an piles up on your arm warmers cm's at a time. I thought when I crossed the steel grated Bridge of the Gods, if I fell, I'd shatter like a crystal vase and sprinkle into the Columbia below.

Layering is the key. And since the tie bit above happened some 20 years ago, be thankful that modern material allows you to match the kit with the conditions.

The Bridge of the Gods is pretty gnarly even when it's dry and warm:
frank says:

Feb 5 2014 at 9:11 pm

@@ mrs engine

@Marcus

Isnt there a cycling aphorism along the lines of "train in as much as you can bear, race in as little"? Or something like that.

Oh and if anyone trots out the line about no bad clothing, just bad weather, send them a photo of some mofo wearing the rainbow stripes, or the fat Lampre guy, etc etc.

@Jon
You use "nonce" and "shite" plus a lot of very wrong spelling (It's you're, not your) and make out like you know something about bad weather. I am guessing Scotland? If so, answer this, what's cold, depressing and Scottish?

Scotland.

Oi! Dont you be dissing Scotland, boy!

Can you make an audio clip of that? I hear Wikipedia is starting to upload audio files of famous people onto the site profiles. Being the first female Scottish gangster, that will likely earn you a spot.
Rom says:

Feb 5 2014 at 9:12 pm

"Always remember that the more you're wearing, the worse you look."

within limits Team Sky
Rom says:

Feb 5 2014 at 9:14 pm

@strathlubnaig

@mrs engine ha ha, I have avision of @the engine waking up and opening the door of his bike-tainer to find he is 200km out a sea someplace.

+1