Reverence: Baxter Aftershave


Baxter Aftershave is one of the most important cremes I have in my arsenal, aside from the testosterone rub, the alcohol swabs I use before injecting my EPO, and Butt Butter or whatever my chamois creme is called. At $15 a pop, it’s not particularly cheap, but the addition of moisturizers and antiseptic keep irritation at a minimum.

Not only does it have a pleasant smell and refreshing feeling, it opens the pores after a good, close shave to help moisturize and revitalize, leaving  your skin clean and smooth with no bumps or rash.  Just the other day, a neighbor remarked that my shave was magnificently smooth and close.  I couldn’t have done it without Baxter.

Oh, and before you start thinking I’m some kind of sissy, know this: I never use this shit on my face.  No sir, the good stuff is for the legs only.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • That is kinda funny.

    In Australia, "Baxter" is often used as a relatively affectionate nickname for a fella who "plays for the other team", as in "baxter the wall"...

  • @Marcus
    Oh, Christ. I get enough of "those" questions as it is in the States wandering around in public with shaved guns.

    In light of this input, I will reconsider my response to women asking how I get my legs so smooth and shiny, which is usually "I'm all about the Baxter, sister!!" I usually follow that up with a play on the "Gun Show" joke where I ask if she's got tickets and then I do a little dance with my arms out as I kiss both my thighs and then giggle.

    I might have to rework that a touch.

  • Oh, well then. If you don't use it on your face, your manliness is restored, certainly!!

    Btw, beautiful photograph.

  • So right now there are two guys in Australia and one guy in the States supposedly on a cycling blog but in reality swapping notes on fucking after shave balm for one's legs.

    Think a collective Rule 5 revision class is in order.

  • Normally, I don't suggest that I said something in a better way than another. I tend to use too many words. But, Marcus, I think I can reduce your comment very accurately to four words: harden the fuck up. Given my propensity for more words, I might say, as I did, "Jesus Christ. Harden the fuck up, frank."

  • @david
    I'm not the nancy-boy who waxed lyrical about a "beautiful photograph" of an after shave bottle.

    David, I contend that right now that you yourself don't quite meet the definition of "hard as a cat's head".

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