Categories: Accessories and GearReverence

Reverence: Baxter Aftershave

Baxter Aftershave is one of the most important cremes I have in my arsenal, aside from the testosterone rub, the alcohol swabs I use before injecting my EPO, and Butt Butter or whatever my chamois creme is called. At $15 a pop, it’s not particularly cheap, but the addition of moisturizers and antiseptic keep irritation at a minimum.

Not only does it have a pleasant smell and refreshing feeling, it opens the pores after a good, close shave to help moisturize and revitalize, leaving your skin clean and smooth with no bumps or rash. Just the other day, a neighbor remarked that my shave was magnificently smooth and close. I couldn’t have done it without Baxter.

Oh, and before you start thinking I’m some kind of sissy, know this: I never use this shit on my face. No sir, the good stuff is for the legs only.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Joe says:

Jul 5 2010 at 1:04 am

@brett - there you go, shaving made manly.

Mark me down as a hippie douch on the way to critical mass ;) Although, as I have been dishing out a little pain recently, I might just slip through the loophole for compliance...

@David - Coors Light is an abomination against beer and should only ever be used as a recovery beverage when the only alternative is water and brackish water at that....As the man said, it's like making love in a canoe.
Rob says:

Jul 5 2010 at 4:46 am

@Joe ++1

Oh and ignore David when he talks about "Coors" - we've been through this already, he is just trying to get a rise out of us because of his deep subconscious issue as an infant having to do with breast feeding issues and an insecurity as an adult over economic reality i.e. if you drink piss water then the money you save will be returned to you in the equivalent weight of Shamwows (for non US don't ask it's too embarrassing) - or something to that effect because of the late night TV you end up watching after you go to the bathroom for the 3rd time because if you had drunk excellent Belgium Beer you would have slowed your rate down and increased your subtle understanding of the beauty of the Rules and life in general and then you would not be confused the next morning.
Marko says:

Jul 5 2010 at 5:48 am

@new readers
As a keeper of the cog and author who contributes to this great site, I encourage you to briefly skim this article and skip the comments all together. Though the author of this article and the velominatus' who've posted here may seem a bit out of hand on this one, I assure you they are sane men who ride bikes hard and are disciples of the purest aesthete of this sport. Go enjoy some archived articles. Thanks
frank says:

Jul 5 2010 at 9:55 am

@brett
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I shave my leggs with a Bowie knife and use gorilla blood as my shave creme. I thought that would be implied.
frank says:

Jul 5 2010 at 10:01 am

@david

Damn it Frank, publish my manifesto. My credibility as a founder of Rule 5 Fundamentalism is really suffering here.

At this point, I'm not sure there's hope. Best lay low for a while. Both of us, probably.
Rob says:

Jul 5 2010 at 2:25 pm

Oh, forgot - I used to shave with a chain saw and use clorox for aftershave but I like Bretts technique (real Rule #5) and that Pedros thing is sweet!

@frank I'm not sure I would use the word "lay" and "low" in the same sentence right now when talking to another, well, uhmm, ahh - hardman?
Daniel says:

Jul 5 2010 at 3:42 pm

Marko :@new readersAs a keeper of the cog and author who contributes to this great site, I encourage you to briefly skim this article and skip the comments all together. Though the author of this article and the velominatus' who've posted here may seem a bit out of hand on this one, I assure you they are sane men who ride bikes hard and are disciples of the purest aesthete of this sport. Go enjoy some archived articles. Thanks

Too late, Marko... laughing a lot here, while I drink a belgium beer, of course.
david says:

Jul 5 2010 at 4:54 pm

@Rob Wow! What a post, Rob. Just for you, once again, I've started on a six-pack of Fat Tire. Honestly. But, I was disappointed to find that it's only produced by New Belgium and not made in New Belgium or for that matter in Old Belgium. At any rate, I hope it meets with your approval.

Psychoanalyze me all you wish, but you could not hurt me more than by saying I take the money I save buying Coors Light to buy late night consumer crap. Ouch. All the extra money I have goes into bike parts, clothing, etc.
david says:

Jul 5 2010 at 4:55 pm

@all I have no idea what the string of posts for Frank's article on Baxter looks like to anyone not drinking beer while posting, but when it going on it was rip-roaring fun.
Drew says:

Jul 5 2010 at 5:07 pm

It's best to only shave with a good, strong, Irish whiskey. Your discipline with the razor becomes pretty crisp when you slap on 80 proof deliciousness as aftercare.