Until I started wearing the sacred threads of the V-Kit, I believed firmly that Assos produced the finest clothes in cycling. Their winter clothes are toasty-warm and lack the bulk of most winter garb, while no epidermal cell has ever been lost to chaffing while wearing a pair of FI.13 bibs.
For a company who has such a stellar reputation in the construction of cycling clothing, I can’t understand why they have hired a sullen-faced body-builder who would look less out of place delivering lines like, “Hello, I understand your pipes need to be checked” than he does modeling cycling clothes. That said, it does appear he has a talent for flexing every muscle in his body simultaneously – including those in his toes, and I suppose I can admire that.
That talent aside, take the photo in this article, which I found on The Google. I assume he’s demonstrating how to ride the Batcycle projectile, but that’s not really a bicycle and is also fictional; as such I can’t see the relevance of wearing a pair of bibshorts while pretending to ride one. Besides, everyone knows you need a cape to ride any of Batman’s gear. It’s protocol.
I also don’t understand why a company like Assoss would hire a guy with a shirt allergy to model their clothes. After all, since I am to understand Assos also sells jerseys, I would have thought it a sound business decision to find a candidate who, in addition to pulling off an excellent Blue Steel, should also be able to occasionally drape a garment over his chiseled abs. But, as they say, hind-sight is 20-20, and since I wasn’t there, I shouldn’t pass judgement on their decisions. Besides, they seem to have repeated the decision when choosing the model for their womens line, so maybe it’s part of their strategy.
In any case, for a company who makes the worlds second-best cycling kit, I recommend they shift to a marketing scheme that involves using people who occasionally ride bicycles to model their clothes.
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Are there photos of The Tease, AKA, the Assos Girl in the feminine model of these bibs, performing those same, er, poses? ;P
Yes, no doubt their advertising turns off some female buyers. But I suspect less than 10% of the clothes they sell are to women. And you don't have to be perusing page 105 the women's section of the Assos catalouge in the toilet to catch sight of the girl. Though obviously it helps. She's given a 50/50 prominence in many adverts.
No doubt their marketing men will tell you it's all about form following function. The athletic body in its purity, needing only the Assos shorts to complete the picture.
Imagine the brand brainstorming session in Lugano:
"So, how about a half-naked Assos guy"
"Men don't want to look at half naked guys"
"There would be a half-naked Assos girl too, you know, 'for our female customers'"
"But only 10% of our customers are female"
"Precisely", they all nodded wisely in agreement.
@Marko
On the contrary. If anything, it's a little petty jealousy for not getting that one when I applied several years ago. It's one of the sweeter gigs in our field.
I thought he was hanging on the toilet after a bad chicken sandwich.
Well, Assos does make the best duds in the business, and their advertisement strategy may well be fine left alone. Think about it. Nearly everyone that is on the inside is asking this. Some say 'where did that Tron dude come from?'. 'Is he gonna shoot a spiderman web outta that thing?'. Others say 'what is that'. I would say that Assos is perfectly fine as is w/their purposed advertising and keeping everyone guessing about things, developing interest in it and just simply continuing to provide us w/exclusive clothing.
Truthfully, does it sell anything? I am not really sure, what do you guys think??
Maybe Frank will let me model the V-Kit.
BTW, that was four years ago.
@Cyclops
Way to make me regret getting the uploader to work!
How does he get the tendon on the outside of his ankle to bulge so impressively while riding an imaginary speederbike from Return of the Jedi?
http://24.media.tumblr.com/orYDLadn2pa4lvp7TZWCTdGAo1_400.gif
@wvcycling
The Tease. Purely for illustrative purposes you understand. Not gratuitous in any way.
@Souleur
I don't know, man. I guess what really bugs me about Assos's's's marketing plan is that for a company who knows so much about cycling, and has been worn to win the biggest races by the likes of Fignon and Faboo, I can't understand why they wouldn't choose people who look like cyclists to model their clothes.
@Jarvis
Castelli has one of these as well? Commencing Internet Research.