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The First Step

Every path has a beginning...

I’ve spent my adult life believing that Mario Cippolini was the first rider to soil the Rainbow Jersey with matching bibshorts. Granted, Super Mario could pull off even the worst soilings with the most possible class, but nevertheless it kicked off a trend of matching bib shorts to jerseys – which is something I cannot abide unless they match because they are both Spinal Tap Black. (Interesting bit of trivia: the UCI fined Super Mario for riding in yellow bib shorts when he wore the Maillot Jaune for the first time in the late 90’s; the UCI recently threatened to fine a Tour leader for wearing team-issue shorts instead of yellow ones provided by the organization. True story, unless I made that up in a convincing dream which now feels like a real memory.)

Like all true stories, this Lion King kit pioneering tale also turned out not to be true. Moreno Argentin makes a liar out of me by wearing a pair of shorts in 1987 that not only shows what I believe was the first step towards over-matched unitards, but also demonstrates the most significant best reasons why the 80’s were an awkward time for kit design:

In 1987, the branding of Cycling clothes had barely evolved beyond needle and thread and had only semi-convincingly achieved the feat of screening the word “LOOK” onto Bernard Hinault’s shorts in ’85.
Garment construction and fabric-printing technology meant that only one panel of lycra could accept a graphic transfer without compromising the structural integrity of the bibs; more than that would make drafting dangerous through inattentiveness induced by crackal exposure.
Gradients look great in mockups but do not translate onto fabrics. Not in the eighties, not in the 90’s, not in the 00’s, and not in the 10’s. Tie Dye is the maximum result achievable.
There was a strange obsession with fluoro which which is a challenging spectrum to work with and which seems to be making a re-emergence today for unexplained reasons.
This bullet was supposed to be the kicker, but I lost my train of thought because that black-chrome Bianchi with both shifters in GO MODE is so badass looking.

This picture of Argentin brings into sharp focus our inherent desire to have every bit of clothing match every other bit of clothing in some sort of couture infinite loop. Every advancement in technology is probed to explore the limits to which it can help us achieve this. ADR, Super U, Carrera, and RMO are just a few examples of designs from the eighties that stood the test of time, but there have been some significant missteps as the sport explored the possibilities of newfound graphical technology.

It wasn’t that Mario was the first rider to come up with the idea to overmatch his kit; he was just the first one to have the nerve to wear the resulting abomination outside his dressing room.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

ErikdR says:

Jan 8 2015 at 12:39 am

Mama mia. It took me a full minute to figure out that I was supposed to notice something 'off' about the kit - because I was staring at the bike. Does that make me a bad person?

Nice article!
brett says:

Jan 8 2015 at 1:18 am

@Aaron

Black is boring.

On the contrary. I'm all for the less busy designs starting to appear, and black is the go-to colour if you want a kit to look good. Especially for punters kit, the less billboard-like the better.
RobSandy says:

Jan 8 2015 at 2:58 am

Trouble is, when you rule out champions kits, pro team kits, and even retro pro team kits as not suitable for wear by punters then you're not left with much that isn't dull.

I'm in the process of joining my local club so the obvious solution is to get hold of a club jersey as soon as I can. I'm also still holding out a little hope for a V-Jersey...

With black shorts. Plain black. No debate.
VeloJello says:

Jan 8 2015 at 4:41 am

@frank

@Aaron

Black is boring.

Black isn't boring; unimaginative designs are boring.

Plus black is incredibly slimming...
SamV says:

Jan 8 2015 at 5:13 am

It's one of my neurosis. I can't wear clothes of the same color. If I'm wearing jeans, I can't wear a blue shirt. My wife makes fun of me for it. If, in my dreams, I was wearing the GC jersey with GC-matched bibs, it would cease to be a dream and cross into nightmare territory. On the bike, everything that goes below my waist (bibs, knickers, tights, shoes, shoe covers) is black.
wiscot says:

Jan 8 2015 at 5:56 am

Fine piece. Sure, "Il Capo" Moreno is overly doing it in the matchy-matchy department, but the bike and cap almost restore balance to the equation.Man, for a wee guy, he was a solidly-built wee bugger wasn't he? Those are some big guns on the boy. He won L-B-L four times - not bad for a solid sprinter. I believe MA also owned a men's fashion store in Italy.

Good to see ADR, RMO, Super U and Carerra getting a positive shout-out. They were great kits. I remember at the time the ADR was a bit wild (who the hell were half of those companies anyway?) but it has stood the test of time quite well.

The new Garmin is ok. Giant have taken (for commerical reasons obviously), one of the greatest, smartest, stylish kits of recent years and ruined it. I'm sure there are a few more style abominations to be unveiled . . .
chuckp says:

Jan 8 2015 at 5:57 am

There's always this ...
wiscot says:

Jan 8 2015 at 5:59 am

@frank

@wielsucker

It's a skinsuit so at least Argentin is TTing on a real bike and not these abominations spawned of triathlons.

And conversely at least he race on the road in a jersey and bibs instead of a skin suit like they've been doing lately.

This pic is from L-B-L in 87 when Argentin won because he never gave up. Roche and Criquelion had the 1-2 in the bag but started playing silly games in the last few kms. Argentin, with the help of a few others, chased them down and he won the sprint handily. Roche and Cri-cri only had themselves to blame.

Conversely, Argentin lost to another rider who didn't give up - Kelly in 1992 Milan San - Remo. Mind you, on that occasion, Argentin can't be accused of fannying around - he gave it his all but was beaten by a legend. No shame there.
Ron says:

Jan 8 2015 at 6:59 am

How often, and how long, did the mechanics change out that sew-up tape on his bars? The outside of the left drop looks scuffed, so maybe not that often.

Goddamn, Frank. Bullet V is fucking amazing. I lose my train of thought all the time, but, it'll come back to me at some point in time. Keeps things exciting, like finding buried treasure!
VeloVita says:

Jan 8 2015 at 7:18 am

@VeloJello

@frank

@Aaron

Black is boring.

Black isn't boring; unimaginative designs are boring.

Plus black is incredibly slimming...

That's why Froome races for Sky. I don't want to imagine how fat he'd look in a lighter colored kit.