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The First Step

Every path has a beginning...

I’ve spent my adult life believing that Mario Cippolini was the first rider to soil the Rainbow Jersey with matching bibshorts. Granted, Super Mario could pull off even the worst soilings with the most possible class, but nevertheless it kicked off a trend of matching bib shorts to jerseys – which is something I cannot abide unless they match because they are both Spinal Tap Black. (Interesting bit of trivia: the UCI fined Super Mario for riding in yellow bib shorts when he wore the Maillot Jaune for the first time in the late 90’s; the UCI recently threatened to fine a Tour leader for wearing team-issue shorts instead of yellow ones provided by the organization. True story, unless I made that up in a convincing dream which now feels like a real memory.)

Like all true stories, this Lion King kit pioneering tale also turned out not to be true. Moreno Argentin makes a liar out of me by wearing a pair of shorts in 1987 that not only shows what I believe was the first step towards over-matched unitards, but also demonstrates the most significant best reasons why the 80’s were an awkward time for kit design:

In 1987, the branding of Cycling clothes had barely evolved beyond needle and thread and had only semi-convincingly achieved the feat of screening the word “LOOK” onto Bernard Hinault’s shorts in ’85.
Garment construction and fabric-printing technology meant that only one panel of lycra could accept a graphic transfer without compromising the structural integrity of the bibs; more than that would make drafting dangerous through inattentiveness induced by crackal exposure.
Gradients look great in mockups but do not translate onto fabrics. Not in the eighties, not in the 90’s, not in the 00’s, and not in the 10’s. Tie Dye is the maximum result achievable.
There was a strange obsession with fluoro which which is a challenging spectrum to work with and which seems to be making a re-emergence today for unexplained reasons.
This bullet was supposed to be the kicker, but I lost my train of thought because that black-chrome Bianchi with both shifters in GO MODE is so badass looking.

This picture of Argentin brings into sharp focus our inherent desire to have every bit of clothing match every other bit of clothing in some sort of couture infinite loop. Every advancement in technology is probed to explore the limits to which it can help us achieve this. ADR, Super U, Carrera, and RMO are just a few examples of designs from the eighties that stood the test of time, but there have been some significant missteps as the sport explored the possibilities of newfound graphical technology.

It wasn’t that Mario was the first rider to come up with the idea to overmatch his kit; he was just the first one to have the nerve to wear the resulting abomination outside his dressing room.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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VeloJello says:

Jan 8 2015 at 8:10 am

@chuckp

There's always this ...

I can only say I had never had a man crush until I met Cippo. He can wear what he likes. Though the topless cycling he gets up to now a days is a bit much... One smooth mother fudger.
Ron says:

Jan 8 2015 at 8:14 am

Yikes, just looked at some Cannondale team ride photos. I'd be embarrassed to show up at a WT race in that. They look like a local club. Very uninspiring.
SamFromTex says:

Jan 8 2015 at 8:25 am

@VeloJello

@chuckp

There's always this ...

I can only say I had never had a man crush until I met Cippo. He can wear what he likes. Though the topless cycling he gets up to now a days is a bit much... One smooth mother fudger.

I don't know if I've known too many Italians in real life or what, but Cipo is a really impressive rider who nevertheless looks like a walking chlamydia bacterium.
Bruce Lee says:

Jan 8 2015 at 8:42 am

@Ron

I had one of those Reparto Corsa Bianchi's back in the day. Campy Record, too, minus Delta brakes. It was a bit poky, SL tubing, with SLX downtube and stays. But it was a great looking bici. Thats not a scruff in the leather on the end of the bar. Thats actually a logo, though I cannot recall for what. Lacing up the bartape actually wasn't too big of a deal. And it looked cool as hell when done. But there was zero padding and it was a little slick when damp if you rode without gloves. Who cares if its a bit dangerous as long as you look cool, right? Maybe it'll make a comeback someday, along with Benotto tape.
Ron says:

Jan 8 2015 at 8:44 am

And their big green POC helmets aren't helping either...
wiscot says:

Jan 8 2015 at 9:05 am

@VeloVita

@VeloJello

@frank

@Aaron

Black is boring.

Black isn't boring; unimaginative designs are boring.

Plus black is incredibly slimming...

That's why Froome races for Sky. I don't want to imagine how fat he'd look in a lighter colored kit.

He's look like Lampre man if he rode for another team, I'm sure he would.
tessar says:

Jan 8 2015 at 9:30 am

@Ron

Yikes, just looked at some Cannondale team ride photos. I'd be embarrassed to show up at a WT race in that. They look like a local club. Very uninspiring.

Definitely. Previous Garmin kits were nice, the Cannondale kits were typical loud single-coloured Italian kits (like CSF-Bardiani and Yellow Fluo), and this is just... dull. Might as well get mom & pop's shop logo on the jersey.
Fred says:

Jan 8 2015 at 9:41 am

@frank

Regarding bullet #V:

Only one lever is in the "go" position, the other is in the "cross chaining be damned, I will not use the little ring" position... A sentiment often demonstrated by our esteemed leader.

You need to ride your old bikes more often before you forget how to shift...
sowtondevil says:

Jan 8 2015 at 9:42 am

I ride a custom-built cro-mo steel steed enamelled in flamboyant Cobalt Blue, with matching blue bar tape, and blue tyres. I wear an Assos jersey and bib-tights both in a matching shade of blue, blue socks, and blue helmet. The overall effect is, frankly, ridiculous and prompts remarks from the bunch - not all of them complimentary. However, I maintain that if I look co-ordinated then I might feel and hence ride in a more co-ordinated fashion i.e. man and machine as one. This is increasingly more important now at my tender age of 66.

I have now disposed of the blue plastic tyre levers however - as I was spotted using them when I punctured recently. This prompted howls of derision from the passing pack and cost me dear at the end-of-ride re-hydration haven.
Teocalli says:

Jan 8 2015 at 10:22 am

@Daccordi Rider

@Mikael Liddy

Wow, some thought put into those designs....Have you seen the Garmin 'dales for this season? Also a snooze fest, what a shame.

I was getting pleased to think some colour was coming back into the peleton but maybe not quite with the panache of the 90s as yet..........