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The First Step

Every path has a beginning...

I’ve spent my adult life believing that Mario Cippolini was the first rider to soil the Rainbow Jersey with matching bibshorts. Granted, Super Mario could pull off even the worst soilings with the most possible class, but nevertheless it kicked off a trend of matching bib shorts to jerseys – which is something I cannot abide unless they match because they are both Spinal Tap Black. (Interesting bit of trivia: the UCI fined Super Mario for riding in yellow bib shorts when he wore the Maillot Jaune for the first time in the late 90’s; the UCI recently threatened to fine a Tour leader for wearing team-issue shorts instead of yellow ones provided by the organization. True story, unless I made that up in a convincing dream which now feels like a real memory.)

Like all true stories, this Lion King kit pioneering tale also turned out not to be true. Moreno Argentin makes a liar out of me by wearing a pair of shorts in 1987 that not only shows what I believe was the first step towards over-matched unitards, but also demonstrates the most significant best reasons why the 80’s were an awkward time for kit design:

In 1987, the branding of Cycling clothes had barely evolved beyond needle and thread and had only semi-convincingly achieved the feat of screening the word “LOOK” onto Bernard Hinault’s shorts in ’85.
Garment construction and fabric-printing technology meant that only one panel of lycra could accept a graphic transfer without compromising the structural integrity of the bibs; more than that would make drafting dangerous through inattentiveness induced by crackal exposure.
Gradients look great in mockups but do not translate onto fabrics. Not in the eighties, not in the 90’s, not in the 00’s, and not in the 10’s. Tie Dye is the maximum result achievable.
There was a strange obsession with fluoro which which is a challenging spectrum to work with and which seems to be making a re-emergence today for unexplained reasons.
This bullet was supposed to be the kicker, but I lost my train of thought because that black-chrome Bianchi with both shifters in GO MODE is so badass looking.

This picture of Argentin brings into sharp focus our inherent desire to have every bit of clothing match every other bit of clothing in some sort of couture infinite loop. Every advancement in technology is probed to explore the limits to which it can help us achieve this. ADR, Super U, Carrera, and RMO are just a few examples of designs from the eighties that stood the test of time, but there have been some significant missteps as the sport explored the possibilities of newfound graphical technology.

It wasn’t that Mario was the first rider to come up with the idea to overmatch his kit; he was just the first one to have the nerve to wear the resulting abomination outside his dressing room.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Jan 9 2015 at 12:09 pm

@tessar

@wiscot

True, so true, but that helmet is awful.

While we're on the subject of team kits for 2015, the Trek one is very much improved.

But it's oh-so-comfortable. I've always thought of helmets as the sort of uncomfortable thing you're forced to wear, with an oval head that just doesn't fit into most helmets (and happens to be just between sizes for most manufacturers). My current Rudy is oversized, with gaps on the sides and a major mushroom effect going on. At least I have space for winter caps.

Until I tried a mate's Evade - my god is it comfy. Feels molded to my head. Now I'm counting my pennies and hoping I'll gather whatever ridiculous sum they want for it.

...and I think there's a picture somewhere of Frank also riding one.

I've got one, not my favorite helmet but it is very comfortable. My biggest complaint is that its very hot so I didn't use it much in the Summer but its finding its way onto my head again this winter.

Boonen looks fantastic in his, and so does Lizzy Armistead. Other than that, its kid of a dud looks-wise.
gilly says:

Jan 9 2015 at 12:22 pm

@frank

@tessar

@wiscot

True, so true, but that helmet is awful.

While we're on the subject of team kits for 2015, the Trek one is very much improved.

But it's oh-so-comfortable. I've always thought of helmets as the sort of uncomfortable thing you're forced to wear, with an oval head that just doesn't fit into most helmets (and happens to be just between sizes for most manufacturers). My current Rudy is oversized, with gaps on the sides and a major mushroom effect going on. At least I have space for winter caps.

Until I tried a mate's Evade - my god is it comfy. Feels molded to my head. Now I'm counting my pennies and hoping I'll gather whatever ridiculous sum they want for it.

...and I think there's a picture somewhere of Frank also riding one.

I've got one, not my favorite helmet but it is very comfortable. My biggest complaint is that its very hot so I didn't use it much in the Summer but its finding its way onto my head again this winter.

Boonen looks fantastic in his, and so does Lizzy Armistead. Other than that, its kid of a dud looks-wise.

Yeah but that smooth bugger Boonen would look good in Tommy Cooper's Fez Frank
gilly says:

Jan 9 2015 at 12:30 pm
Chris says:

Jan 9 2015 at 12:42 pm

@frank

@HigherGround

@RobSandy

@gilly

Stunning shot of the new World Champion respecting both the jersey and the traditions of the sport. I've got a lot of time for MK. The rainbow has been subtly applied to the frame too. Classy rider on a classy bike. Anything other than black shorts just dilutes the jerseys impact for me.

What's that THING attached to the front of his stem?

I'd be more worried about that THING attached to his head.

Then again, as a World Champion, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

WRONG. He is World Champ and has the responsibility of setting a good example, which in this case means not putting your iPhone on your stem.

Rule 74 Addendum: If your computer is longer than your stem it clearly violates the rule.

(Or your bikefit is woefully inadequate)
frank says:

Jan 9 2015 at 12:43 pm

@wilburrox

@gilly

@wilburrox

Fair comments @wilburrox, my view of Specialized was really soured by the CafÃ© Roubaix affair that featured on this site. I don't deny that they make some good looking bikes, I just wouldn't personally want to give them my hard earned for one

I'm with ya 100% on this one (except I still buy the bikes, so say 99%) and if Mr. Sinyard did not fire an attorney or a firm over this affair then he really missed the boat. This was epic fail moment so to speak only somewhat salvaged with an apology. Gotta keep a leash on the attorneys. Ya ultimately need 'em regret. That's just capitalism for better or worse. Someone needs to help sort out what's right and wrong, set precedent and the rules. But ya have to keep them from getting carried away 'cause they most assuredly will if left w/o oversight generating billable hours.

Delegation can be really tough; people doing the work don't always have the same view of the world as their leadership and bad decisions get made. I think CafÃ© Roubaix would probably agree that the publicity in the end helped them more than it hurt, and Spesh did their best to do the right thing in the end.

That said, you couldn't catch me dead on their road bikes, but mostly just because I don't like their bikes, not because of this particular affair.
The Grande Fondue says:

Jan 10 2015 at 2:49 am

We need more pics of World Champions on Bianchis.

Shorts not black, but I always like the Gatorade kit. Not sure about his shoes though.

The chrome stays on the Colnago are nice.
wilburrox says:

Jan 10 2015 at 6:30 am

@frank

@wilburrox

@gilly

@wilburrox

Fair comments @wilburrox, my view of Specialized was really soured by the CafÃ© Roubaix affair that featured on this site. I don't deny that they make some good looking bikes, I just wouldn't personally want to give them my hard earned for one

I'm with ya 100% on this one (except I still buy the bikes, so say 99%) and if Mr. Sinyard did not fire an attorney or a firm over this affair then he really missed the boat. This was epic fail moment so to speak only somewhat salvaged with an apology. Gotta keep a leash on the attorneys. Ya ultimately need 'em regret. That's just capitalism for better or worse. Someone needs to help sort out what's right and wrong, set precedent and the rules. But ya have to keep them from getting carried away 'cause they most assuredly will if left w/o oversight generating billable hours.

Delegation can be really tough; people doing the work don't always have the same view of the world as their leadership and bad decisions get made. I think CafÃ© Roubaix would probably agree that the publicity in the end helped them more than it hurt, and Spesh did their best to do the right thing in the end.

That said, you couldn't catch me dead on their road bikes, but mostly just because I don't like their bikes, not because of this particular affair.

That's kinda ironic given how much you dig the cobbles and more than a few pave' trophies have been picked up in past years by some spring classic badasses piloting the Megalized bikes hey? Though admittadly I'm guessing these cats could win races on Schwinns too.
DCR says:

Jan 10 2015 at 11:41 am

@wilburrox

@VeloJello

@wilburrox

@gilly

@Mikael Liddy

With you on that one Mikael, there is absolutely nothing Special about that firm

Notwithstanding the lawyers and trademark BS, I very much dig many of their bikes. I have four of 'em in my garage. And suspect that a lot of people that really dig bikes, design and engineering and are at the top of the game work for 'em. And they do get behind racing in a BIG way. Plus funnel more than a little cash in to advocacy. Some of all that is special yes? Except the lawyers and trademark BS of course.

I would second this if it wasn't for my feeling that the Big S represent the Dark Side of cycling. The Empires Forces always had the coolest equipment and uniforms (ATAT's, TieFighters, Venges and Tarmacs), but you always felt kinda bad when you lusted after their gear.

I'll stick to my rebel alliance manufacturers.

I can dig that thinking. Though I kinda think of the Dark Side as the Chinese industrial machine that copies someone else's tech, design and ideas and pumps out unbranded, counterfeit or copycat product. I'm really coming along with idea that I want to be supporting some local made at home craftsmen with my next bikes.

The chinese are the private contractors who built the clone armies for the already corrupt empire...
DCR says:

Jan 10 2015 at 11:46 am

@frank

@tessar

@wiscot

True, so true, but that helmet is awful.

While we're on the subject of team kits for 2015, the Trek one is very much improved.

But it's oh-so-comfortable. I've always thought of helmets as the sort of uncomfortable thing you're forced to wear, with an oval head that just doesn't fit into most helmets (and happens to be just between sizes for most manufacturers). My current Rudy is oversized, with gaps on the sides and a major mushroom effect going on. At least I have space for winter caps.

Until I tried a mate's Evade - my god is it comfy. Feels molded to my head. Now I'm counting my pennies and hoping I'll gather whatever ridiculous sum they want for it.

...and I think there's a picture somewhere of Frank also riding one.

I've got one, not my favorite helmet but it is very comfortable. My biggest complaint is that its very hot so I didn't use it much in the Summer but its finding its way onto my head again this winter.

Boonen looks fantastic in his, and so does Lizzy Armistead. Other than that, its kid of a dud looks-wise.

I am surprised anyone could find them comfortable. Tried one on two days ago and I don't think I would ever get used to the thing. Now if a local shop would carry the damn synthe already.
HigherGround says:

Jan 10 2015 at 9:16 pm

@frank

@HigherGround

@RobSandy

@gilly

Stunning shot of the new World Champion respecting both the jersey and the traditions of the sport. I've got a lot of time for MK. The rainbow has been subtly applied to the frame too. Classy rider on a classy bike. Anything other than black shorts just dilutes the jerseys impact for me.

What's that THING attached to the front of his stem?

I'd be more worried about that THING attached to his head.

Then again, as a World Champion, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

WRONG. He is World Champ and has the responsibility of setting a good example, which in this case means not putting your iPhone on your stem.

Feel free to have that discussion with him, and let me know how it goes. :-)