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The First Step

Every path has a beginning...

I’ve spent my adult life believing that Mario Cippolini was the first rider to soil the Rainbow Jersey with matching bibshorts. Granted, Super Mario could pull off even the worst soilings with the most possible class, but nevertheless it kicked off a trend of matching bib shorts to jerseys – which is something I cannot abide unless they match because they are both Spinal Tap Black. (Interesting bit of trivia: the UCI fined Super Mario for riding in yellow bib shorts when he wore the Maillot Jaune for the first time in the late 90’s; the UCI recently threatened to fine a Tour leader for wearing team-issue shorts instead of yellow ones provided by the organization. True story, unless I made that up in a convincing dream which now feels like a real memory.)

Like all true stories, this Lion King kit pioneering tale also turned out not to be true. Moreno Argentin makes a liar out of me by wearing a pair of shorts in 1987 that not only shows what I believe was the first step towards over-matched unitards, but also demonstrates the most significant best reasons why the 80’s were an awkward time for kit design:

In 1987, the branding of Cycling clothes had barely evolved beyond needle and thread and had only semi-convincingly achieved the feat of screening the word “LOOK” onto Bernard Hinault’s shorts in ’85.
Garment construction and fabric-printing technology meant that only one panel of lycra could accept a graphic transfer without compromising the structural integrity of the bibs; more than that would make drafting dangerous through inattentiveness induced by crackal exposure.
Gradients look great in mockups but do not translate onto fabrics. Not in the eighties, not in the 90’s, not in the 00’s, and not in the 10’s. Tie Dye is the maximum result achievable.
There was a strange obsession with fluoro which which is a challenging spectrum to work with and which seems to be making a re-emergence today for unexplained reasons.
This bullet was supposed to be the kicker, but I lost my train of thought because that black-chrome Bianchi with both shifters in GO MODE is so badass looking.

This picture of Argentin brings into sharp focus our inherent desire to have every bit of clothing match every other bit of clothing in some sort of couture infinite loop. Every advancement in technology is probed to explore the limits to which it can help us achieve this. ADR, Super U, Carrera, and RMO are just a few examples of designs from the eighties that stood the test of time, but there have been some significant missteps as the sport explored the possibilities of newfound graphical technology.

It wasn’t that Mario was the first rider to come up with the idea to overmatch his kit; he was just the first one to have the nerve to wear the resulting abomination outside his dressing room.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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VirenqueForever says:

Jan 8 2015 at 11:24 am

looks like they are still making these...

https://mobile.twitter.com/prendas/status/553133595830001664/photo/1
Gianni says:

Jan 8 2015 at 11:25 am

@sowtondevil

I ride a custom-built cro-mo steel steed enamelled in flamboyant Cobalt Blue, with matching blue bar tape, and blue tyres. I wear an Assos jersey and bib-tights both in a matching shade of blue, blue socks, and blue helmet. The overall effect is, frankly, ridiculous and prompts remarks from the bunch - not all of them complimentary. However, I maintain that if I look co-ordinated then I might feel and hence ride in a more co-ordinated fashion i.e. man and machine as one. This is increasingly more important now at my tender age of 66.

I have now disposed of the blue plastic tyre levers however - as I was spotted using them when I punctured recently. This prompted howls of derision from the passing pack and cost me dear at the end-of-ride re-hydration haven.

Jesus man, don't weaken now. Double down on blue, add blue gatorade to your bottles. This concept of looking good on the bike makes you feel good on the bike; it's the whole Velominati raison d'etre. Good on ya.
Teocalli says:

Jan 8 2015 at 11:37 am

@wiscot

@VeloVita

@VeloJello

@frank

@Aaron

Black is boring.

Black isn't boring; unimaginative designs are boring.

Plus black is incredibly slimming...

That's why Froome races for Sky. I don't want to imagine how fat he'd look in a lighter colored kit.

He's look like Lampre man if he rode for another team, I'm sure he would.

Arrrggghhh - I thought we had banned the poor fella!
ErikdR says:

Jan 8 2015 at 11:38 am

@sowtondevil

I maintain that if I look co-ordinated then I might feel and hence ride in a more co-ordinated fashion i.e. man and machine as one. This is increasingly more important now at my tender age of 66.

Kudos to you, sir - and thanks for subtly hinting that I have at least 10 more years of riding to look forward to - and (hopefully) many more, if all continues to go well. I must admit that I would have baulked at the blue tires, though - but respect, nonetheless.
wiscot says:

Jan 8 2015 at 11:43 am

@Teocalli

@wiscot

@VeloVita

@VeloJello

@frank

@Aaron

Black is boring.

Black isn't boring; unimaginative designs are boring.

Plus black is incredibly slimming...

That's why Froome races for Sky. I don't want to imagine how fat he'd look in a lighter colored kit.

He's look like Lampre man if he rode for another team, I'm sure he would.

Arrrggghhh - I thought we had banned the poor fella!

Yeah, but I didn't post a picture of Lampre man as I think we all have that particular image burned into our brains by now.
Teocalli says:

Jan 8 2015 at 12:16 pm

@wiscot

Unfortunately we do.................
SamFromTex says:

Jan 8 2015 at 12:18 pm

@Gianni

@sowtondevil

I ride a custom-built cro-mo steel steed enamelled in flamboyant Cobalt Blue, with matching blue bar tape, and blue tyres. I wear an Assos jersey and bib-tights both in a matching shade of blue, blue socks, and blue helmet. The overall effect is, frankly, ridiculous and prompts remarks from the bunch - not all of them complimentary. However, I maintain that if I look co-ordinated then I might feel and hence ride in a more co-ordinated fashion i.e. man and machine as one. This is increasingly more important now at my tender age of 66.

I have now disposed of the blue plastic tyre levers however - as I was spotted using them when I punctured recently. This prompted howls of derision from the passing pack and cost me dear at the end-of-ride re-hydration haven.

Jesus man, don't weaken now. Double down on blue, add blue gatorade to your bottles. This concept of looking good on the bike makes you feel good on the bike; it's the whole Velominati raison d'etre. Good on ya.

Seriously. This is not a time for half measures. Invest in one of these skinsuits. It looks very aero and probably provides helpful compression.
Teocalli says:

Jan 8 2015 at 12:21 pm

@SamFromTex

Cripes, I remember one piece ski suits. They were bad enough the morning after a curry and/or a night on the ale, one of those could be lethal.
sowtondevil says:

Jan 8 2015 at 12:58 pm

@SamFromTex

A cobalt blue onesy! Where do I buy one from?
wilburrox says:

Jan 8 2015 at 1:47 pm

@wiscot

>>> Giant have taken (for commerical reasons obviously), one of the greatest, smartest, stylish kits of recent years and ruined it. I'm sure there are a few more style abominations to be unveiled . . . <<<<

Ahhhh damn, You are sure right about that...I just saw the new Giant kit at beginning of the thread. Yuck. That's too bad.