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The First Step

Every path has a beginning...

I’ve spent my adult life believing that Mario Cippolini was the first rider to soil the Rainbow Jersey with matching bibshorts. Granted, Super Mario could pull off even the worst soilings with the most possible class, but nevertheless it kicked off a trend of matching bib shorts to jerseys – which is something I cannot abide unless they match because they are both Spinal Tap Black. (Interesting bit of trivia: the UCI fined Super Mario for riding in yellow bib shorts when he wore the Maillot Jaune for the first time in the late 90’s; the UCI recently threatened to fine a Tour leader for wearing team-issue shorts instead of yellow ones provided by the organization. True story, unless I made that up in a convincing dream which now feels like a real memory.)

Like all true stories, this Lion King kit pioneering tale also turned out not to be true. Moreno Argentin makes a liar out of me by wearing a pair of shorts in 1987 that not only shows what I believe was the first step towards over-matched unitards, but also demonstrates the most significant best reasons why the 80’s were an awkward time for kit design:

In 1987, the branding of Cycling clothes had barely evolved beyond needle and thread and had only semi-convincingly achieved the feat of screening the word “LOOK” onto Bernard Hinault’s shorts in ’85.
Garment construction and fabric-printing technology meant that only one panel of lycra could accept a graphic transfer without compromising the structural integrity of the bibs; more than that would make drafting dangerous through inattentiveness induced by crackal exposure.
Gradients look great in mockups but do not translate onto fabrics. Not in the eighties, not in the 90’s, not in the 00’s, and not in the 10’s. Tie Dye is the maximum result achievable.
There was a strange obsession with fluoro which which is a challenging spectrum to work with and which seems to be making a re-emergence today for unexplained reasons.
This bullet was supposed to be the kicker, but I lost my train of thought because that black-chrome Bianchi with both shifters in GO MODE is so badass looking.

This picture of Argentin brings into sharp focus our inherent desire to have every bit of clothing match every other bit of clothing in some sort of couture infinite loop. Every advancement in technology is probed to explore the limits to which it can help us achieve this. ADR, Super U, Carrera, and RMO are just a few examples of designs from the eighties that stood the test of time, but there have been some significant missteps as the sport explored the possibilities of newfound graphical technology.

It wasn’t that Mario was the first rider to come up with the idea to overmatch his kit; he was just the first one to have the nerve to wear the resulting abomination outside his dressing room.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

antihero says:

Jan 8 2015 at 5:18 pm

@frank

@JMac

Re Bullet 5, not to quibble, but wouldn't full-on "GO MODE" (i.e., Big Ring, Small Cog) require the right shifter to be parallel to the downtube?

That may be but those shifters are in the Millenium Falcum's hyperspace lever positions and that's good enough for me.

I like @frank's answer better.
SamFromTex says:

Jan 8 2015 at 5:25 pm

@frank

@JMac

Re Bullet 5, not to quibble, but wouldn't full-on "GO MODE" (i.e., Big Ring, Small Cog) require the right shifter to be parallel to the downtube?

That may be but those shifters are in the Millenium Falcum's hyperspace lever positions and that's good enough for me.

Clearly the correct answer, but surely the position of GO MODE on downtube shifters depend on whether your derailers are high-normal or low-normal. I swear I had a bike with SunTour on it where GO MODE had them pointed the same way.
Mikael Liddy says:

Jan 8 2015 at 5:30 pm

@gilly

Stunning shot of the new World Champion respecting both the jersey and the traditions of the sport. I've got a lot of time for MK. The rainbow has been subtly applied to the frame too. Classy rider on a classy bike. Anything other than black shorts just dilutes the jerseys impact for me.

Not much love for the lawyers masquerading as a bike company, but I agree with the rest of the post...
RobSandy says:

Jan 9 2015 at 12:40 am

@gilly

Stunning shot of the new World Champion respecting both the jersey and the traditions of the sport. I've got a lot of time for MK. The rainbow has been subtly applied to the frame too. Classy rider on a classy bike. Anything other than black shorts just dilutes the jerseys impact for me.

What's that THING attached to the front of his stem?
HigherGround says:

Jan 9 2015 at 1:08 am

@RobSandy

@gilly

Stunning shot of the new World Champion respecting both the jersey and the traditions of the sport. I've got a lot of time for MK. The rainbow has been subtly applied to the frame too. Classy rider on a classy bike. Anything other than black shorts just dilutes the jerseys impact for me.

What's that THING attached to the front of his stem?

I'd be more worried about that THING attached to his head.

Then again, as a World Champion, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.
gilly says:

Jan 9 2015 at 2:38 am

@Mikael Liddy

With you on that one Mikael, there is absolutely nothing Special about that firm
KogaLover says:

Jan 9 2015 at 4:07 am

@JMac
wilburrox says:

Jan 9 2015 at 4:28 am

@gilly

@Mikael Liddy

With you on that one Mikael, there is absolutely nothing Special about that firm

Notwithstanding the lawyers and trademark BS, I very much dig many of their bikes. I have four of 'em in my garage. And suspect that a lot of people that really dig bikes, design and engineering and are at the top of the game work for 'em. And they do get behind racing in a BIG way. Plus funnel more than a little cash in to advocacy. Some of all that is special yes? Except the lawyers and trademark BS of course.
gilly says:

Jan 9 2015 at 4:43 am

@wilburrox

Fair comments @wilburrox, my view of Specialized was really soured by the Cafe Roubaix affair that featured on this site. I don't deny that they make some good looking bikes, I just wouldn't personally want to give them my hard earned for one
VeloJello says:

Jan 9 2015 at 5:06 am

@wilburrox

@gilly

@Mikael Liddy

With you on that one Mikael, there is absolutely nothing Special about that firm

Notwithstanding the lawyers and trademark BS, I very much dig many of their bikes. I have four of 'em in my garage. And suspect that a lot of people that really dig bikes, design and engineering and are at the top of the game work for 'em. And they do get behind racing in a BIG way. Plus funnel more than a little cash in to advocacy. Some of all that is special yes? Except the lawyers and trademark BS of course.

I would second this if it wasn't for my feeling that the Big S represent the Dark Side of cycling. The Empires Forces always had the coolest equipment and uniforms (ATAT's, TieFighters, Venges and Tarmacs), but you always felt kinda bad when you lusted after their gear.

I'll stick to my rebel alliance manufacturers.