I kind of like the fact that I still have to look up what number certain Rules are. Some stick in my mind, usually due to their relevance to my everyday riding and living situation. That’s how I could justify hairy legs over a ride-barren winter, loose-fitting (I refuse to call them baggy) shorts for gravé rides, and a frame pump on my road bike. I can hear the howls of derision now. And even after Gianni’s public flogging for using a saddle bag, I’m still gonna go there, girl.

It occurred to me while watching the Tour that the main reason we eschew the EPMS, like most things, is that they don’t look good. Fair enough. Yes, they are functional, and while that usually doesn’t sit high on our list of priorities, it has been making a bigger blip on my personal radar of late. I guess that’s what happens once the floodgates are opened by the likes of a frame pump; “shit, this works really well, and you know what, no-one else is running it, so I’m kinda unique. Maybe even a trendsetter.” OK, maybe not, but justification comes in many forms. Anyway, from watching the Tour and not being able to avoid the fact that every bike was running the electronic timing GPS device under the saddle, I had to ask the question: do they make the EPMS acceptable?

Probably not, and those howls of derision are hitting peak decibels now, I’m sure. But there is a new crop of bags out there which are swaying me to the dark side. Stop howling! Maybe not on my road bikes, but with a new gravé machine imminent, I’ve been looking at all manner of add-on carrying devices. Frame bags, TT bags, handlebar bags, and even the EPMS. My good friend the Bike Bag Dude has been commissioned to customise a camera bag for the bars that can handle an SLR, and a slim frame bag that can also accomodate my Silca Impero. And those purveyors of the pump that has its own Rule caveat may have just released another Rule-breaker with their new Seat Roll Premio. See, it even sounds cool. It uses the BOA system to secure it to the rails and looks more like a wallet than a small piece of carry-on luggage dangling under your arse.

Now that Frank has turned 40 and Gianni and I are well north of that, could there be a softening of the Rules going on? Shit no, we’re not completely senile just yet. But there are increasing ways to gently skirt some of them, while others are sacrosanct. And when our colostomy bags turn up, you know they are going to be Rule compliant. Otherwise, it’s just a shit time, and no-one wants that.

 

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • @Gianni

    FFS, didn’t I write this article a year or two back and was publicly crucified?

    I'd say it was more on the order of "flogged" rather than "crucified," Gianni.  I see your flair for the dramatic has not left you.

  • @Steve Trice

    @ErikdR

    And I have to ask: which purpose do those truncated fenders serve? Keeping the brake calipers clean-ish?

    You’ve got me wondering the same thing, although they are correct for the bike’s age. The short mudguards/ fenders were de-rigeur back in those days, don’t think we ever questioned what purpose they served.

    Yeah, in the 70s they were called "Racer" mudguards. Completely friggin useless. The only purpose they served was to allow the marketing department to insert the word "racer" into their ad copy.

  • @ErikdR

    @Teocalli

    @ErikdR

    The full story is here.

    Thanks! I now remember having read the Butler story earlier, but no matter: it was certainly worth reading again.

    I’ve had a soft spot for Stronglight gear ever since I purchased my first Peugeot: that particular bike came with a cottered crank set with a three-point ‘star’ and steel chain-wheels that torqued and twisted terribly when force was applied to the pedals (with the chain noisily rubbing the insides of the ‘Simplex’ front mech). A ‘five-point-star’ (and alloy) Stronglight crank set was the stuff of dreams for me back then.

    The Koga Miyata Road Speed I posted above was also the stuff of dreams – so the day I finally got my hands on one was a memorable one. Mine is a 1980 model, and the color that year was referred to as ‘Champagne’. Very nice, but to be honest, I’m still lusting for a similar model, but from 1981 or 1982, when the color for Road Speeds was “Indian Red”, like the bike @KogaLover was riding at the Limburg Eroica…

    Heck with it: it’s only a 148 kB JPEG image, so it won’t break the Interwebs, I reckon. Here goes:

    I may have had a similar Peugeot to you. Cottered cranks, Simplex gears, full alloy guards and a rack on the back. Steel  rims, butterfly wheel nuts, and Mafac centerpull brakes. Weighed a ton!

    There's another thing the kids of today have never done: filed down a cotter pin to make it fit.

  • @wiscot

    @ErikdR

    I may have had a similar Peugeot to you. Cottered cranks, Simplex gears, full alloy guards and a rack on the back. Steel rims, butterfly wheel nuts, and Mafac centerpull brakes. Weighed a ton!

    There’s another thing the kids of today have never done: filed down a cotter pin to make it fit.

    Yes, filing them down... That triggered a memory for sure: clamp the cotter pin in a vice, and get to work... and fit... and file some more... and fit...

    Including the shiny dork disc and chain ring guard, My UO8 weighed in at 13,8 kilograms (or, more likely, 14, as I had a higher frame than the one used as reference, probably). The Mafac rims were chromed steel with cheese grater pattern on the side for a semblance of break pad grip. And it had quick release hubs! Yay! In fact, I've found the (Dutch) brochure page with the exact bike. This was she:

    In 1976, rode all 14 kilo's of that thing plus, approximately, 10 kilograms of luggage (in panniers) from the Netherlands to Rome and back, across the Brenner pass on the way down and over the Lautaret and (for good measure) the Galibier on the way back. Good times. God, how I loved that bike. Must have done more than 40,000 km on it, but crashed it beyond repair in the early eighties, alas.

  • @ErikdR

    @wiscot

    @ErikdR

    I may have had a similar Peugeot to you. Cottered cranks, Simplex gears, full alloy guards and a rack on the back. Steel rims, butterfly wheel nuts, and Mafac centerpull brakes. Weighed a ton!

    There’s another thing the kids of today have never done: filed down a cotter pin to make it fit.

    Yes, filing them down… That triggered a memory for sure: clamp the cotter pin in a vice, and get to work… and fit… and file some more… and fit…

    Including the shiny dork disc and chain ring guard, My UO8 weighed in at 13,8 kilograms (or, more likely, 14, as I had a higher frame than the one used as reference, probably). The Mafac rims were chromed steel with cheese grater pattern on the side for a semblance of break pad grip. And it had quick release hubs! Yay! In fact, I’ve found the (Dutch) brochure page with the exact bike. This was she:

    In 1976, rode all 14 kilo’s of that thing plus, approximately, 10 kilograms of luggage (in panniers) from the Netherlands to Rome and back, across the Brenner pass on the way down and over the Lautaret and (for good measure) the Galibier on the way back. Good times. God, how I loved that bike. Must have done more than 40,000 km on it, but crashed it beyond repair in the early eighties, alas.

    Quick releases? I'd lie awake at night dreaming of quick releases (said in a Python-esque voice). The wheels were awful. In the wet, chromed steel just didn't work causing many a squeaky-bum moment. The butterfly nuts sucked as it was hard to get the rear one tight enough to prevent the wheel pulling over. My Peugeot was blue and a 25" (63.5cm)frame (I was 14 and they said I'd grow into it.) Nearly 40 years later I ride a 56cm. Lying bastards, they likely just wanted to get rid of a big ass bike on a dumb kid. Mine had full chromed mudguards, a rack but no bell.

    Can't believe you rode those climbs/descents on that bike.

  • PS: Note that, on the right side of the brochure page, the gearing of the bike is peddled to the (utterly mountain-less) Dutch market as "... enabling the rider to make progress in gale force headwinds. Amazing!", or words to that effect. I still find that hilarious.

  • @wiscot

    I climbed well for my weight then (And at the time, at 1,92 meters, I weighed considerably less than 80 kilo's). Sigh... Anyway; climbing went very well, but fast descents were scary as hell: the high frame was very noodly and the front and rear wheel didn't necessary follow the same line through fast curves...

    By the way: the bike also had a bell that I had left on. There's a story to tell about that bell, which I'll save for later this weekend.

    My brother had an even older Peugeot - and yes, it had butterfly nuts. And yes, they sucked. Big time.

    Right; about to sign off here - have a good weekend, all.

  • @wiscot

    @ErikdR

    @Teocalli

    @ErikdR

    The full story is here.

    Thanks! I now remember having read the Butler story earlier, but no matter: it was certainly worth reading again.

    I’ve had a soft spot for Stronglight gear ever since I purchased my first Peugeot: that particular bike came with a cottered crank set with a three-point ‘star’ and steel chain-wheels that torqued and twisted terribly when force was applied to the pedals (with the chain noisily rubbing the insides of the ‘Simplex’ front mech). A ‘five-point-star’ (and alloy) Stronglight crank set was the stuff of dreams for me back then.

    The Koga Miyata Road Speed I posted above was also the stuff of dreams – so the day I finally got my hands on one was a memorable one. Mine is a 1980 model, and the color that year was referred to as ‘Champagne’. Very nice, but to be honest, I’m still lusting for a similar model, but from 1981 or 1982, when the color for Road Speeds was “Indian Red”, like the bike @KogaLover was riding at the Limburg Eroica…

    Heck with it: it’s only a 148 kB JPEG image, so it won’t break the Interwebs, I reckon. Here goes:

    I may have had a similar Peugeot to you. Cottered cranks, Simplex gears, full alloy guards and a rack on the back. Steel rims, butterfly wheel nuts, and Mafac centerpull brakes. Weighed a ton!

    There’s another thing the kids of today have never done: filed down a cotter pin to make it fit.

    The Mafac Centerpulls on my own Peugeot UO8 were the visual aid by means of which my Cycling Sensei bestowed his first lesson on this 17-year-old, budding Velominipper. I had been mucking about for 10 minutes trying to tighten the cable while simultaneously squeezing the brake caliper (thus getting my first inkling of why somebody might be inspired to invent a 'third hand' tool), when he simply clamped the brake shoes firmly together and unhooked the little stretch of 'yoke cable' that arched on top of the caliper. I remember that moment (fondly) to this day.

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