Does this make it right?
I kind of like the fact that I still have to look up what number certain Rules are. Some stick in my mind, usually due to their relevance to my everyday riding and living situation. That’s how I could justify hairy legs over a ride-barren winter, loose-fitting (I refuse to call them baggy) shorts for gravé rides, and a frame pump on my road bike. I can hear the howls of derision now. And even after Gianni’s public flogging for using a saddle bag, I’m still gonna go there, girl.
It occurred to me while watching the Tour that the main reason we eschew the EPMS, like most things, is that they don’t look good. Fair enough. Yes, they are functional, and while that usually doesn’t sit high on our list of priorities, it has been making a bigger blip on my personal radar of late. I guess that’s what happens once the floodgates are opened by the likes of a frame pump; “shit, this works really well, and you know what, no-one else is running it, so I’m kinda unique. Maybe even a trendsetter.” OK, maybe not, but justification comes in many forms. Anyway, from watching the Tour and not being able to avoid the fact that every bike was running the electronic timing GPS device under the saddle, I had to ask the question: do they make the EPMS acceptable?
Probably not, and those howls of derision are hitting peak decibels now, I’m sure. But there is a new crop of bags out there which are swaying me to the dark side. Stop howling! Maybe not on my road bikes, but with a new gravé machine imminent, I’ve been looking at all manner of add-on carrying devices. Frame bags, TT bags, handlebar bags, and even the EPMS. My good friend the Bike Bag Dude has been commissioned to customise a camera bag for the bars that can handle an SLR, and a slim frame bag that can also accomodate my Silca Impero. And those purveyors of the pump that has its own Rule caveat may have just released another Rule-breaker with their new Seat Roll Premio. See, it even sounds cool. It uses the BOA system to secure it to the rails and looks more like a wallet than a small piece of carry-on luggage dangling under your arse.
Now that Frank has turned 40 and Gianni and I are well north of that, could there be a softening of the Rules going on? Shit no, we’re not completely senile just yet. But there are increasing ways to gently skirt some of them, while others are sacrosanct. And when our colostomy bags turn up, you know they are going to be Rule compliant. Otherwise, it’s just a shit time, and no-one wants that.
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@Randy C
We've had incidents here in Denmark last summer of teenagers indulging in something they refer to as '"train surfing": climbing onto the roof of a train and keeping one's balance as the thing starts moving. As I recall, at least one of those youngsters got killed by electrocution when he hit the overhead power line. Seriously stupid, of course - but what a tragic waste.
@Ron
I still have (and occasionally use) my 40 year old Peugeot-Michelin-BP jersey. All wool, and has to be washed with great care and then (preferably) laid to dry horizontally on a stack of towels, because the fabric will 'sag' when the wet jersey is hung on a line, apparently. A royal pain - but I'll say this for the thing: it's surprisingly non-itchy (Merino?) and very well-suited for those chill, early morning spring and autumn rides.
@ErikdR, @RobSandy
DH is a huge giggle and great for your bike handling. A & E is only usually the natural end point if one or more of of a group decide to call it quits for the day but are persuaded to do Just One More Run. You'll walk away from most crashes but not on the last run.
Part of the reason for that might just have something to to do with the fact that despite being slightly unhinged, downhillers tend to wear kit that's actually designed to take on the risk faced. A spine protector would have been very welcome the last time I fell off my road bike.
@ErikdR
I remember that being a thing in Brazil years ago. I'd rank it up there with Russian Roulette or heroine. It might not get you the first time or even the second but at some point it will.
@ErikdR
Arggh! You're killing me. It would be about 40 years ago I saw a gorgeous Peugeot jersey in the window of Dooley's Cycles in Paisley. I lusted after that thing but couldn't afford it at the time. I'm sure it was pure wool and had all the right patches etc on it. (not like the bastardized version Prends sell . . .
@wiscot
I've just tried to upload a piccie of said jersey (twisting the knife, as it were), but failed miserably for some reason. Anyway: it (the jersey) used to have green 'chevron' patches on the shoulders (with yellow 'BP' lettering) but they have disintegrated completely. Sniff...
What really amazed me about it at the time was that the lettering (i.e. the "Peugeot - Michelin") has not been printed, glued or ironed onto the material, but sewn/embroidered INTO the material. That part still looks as crisp as the day I bought it.
There are a few scuffs and scratches, but I almost consider those badges of honor.
I'm pretty sure similar jerseys can still be sourced through eBay and the likes, though? (It would be nicest to come across a NOS specimen, I suppose.) Anyway, as soon as I finish building the bike shed of my dreams (in about 10 years or so), that jersey gets its own special place in there.
@Randy C
My wife has been talking of New Mother Brain...spending 24 hours a day thinking about/caring for an infant weakens the mind for other thinking. I'm not complaining. She's doing a great job and my solo care of the Lil' Guy has thankfully only been for a few hours at a time. Not easy to deal with a screaming baby, seriously frays the nerves.
@ErikdR
The night the tale came from did involve copious beer so I dare say a fair bit of "I caught one THIS big" was going on.
I did fly Gliders for a while way back. I'm more of a "why anyone would willingly get out of a perfectly serviceable aeroplane is beyond me" type of aeronaut. Spent many years offshore yacht racing, always surprised me that more people don't get seriously injured in that game. Back in the day IOR rated yachts were fundamentally unstable, especially downwind in a good blow. To quote my brother in one race when one of the crew asked - should we get the kite off, it's getting a bit breezy (i.e. near gale force). Brother - nah, we haven't broached yet. 5 mins later we are flat in the water shoal fishing with the kite.
Latterly it's more a case of "you should know better at your age" when skiing the steeps or hooning downhill on a mtb. A couple of years back I was 10 secs off a KOM on a descent in the Surrey Hills (in the dark). My mate wondered whether I'd try to make the 10 secs........I looked at the next best in my age group and it was 5 mins slower. I decided against it.
@Gianni
Sorry to suggest this, but I stopped visiting regularly after tattoo gate. Too many regulars couldn't accept the ruling on tats, and took some serious umbrage. It got personal and I realised that day that despite the assertion that form trumps function, the roadies on here can't follow their own rules and have bent them to suit themselves. It kind of degraded the whole Velominati thing. Don't get me wrong, I know that generally it's all tongue in cheek stuff, but there's plenty of others sites that have watered themselves down to be popular.
Hence the bollocking two years ago, which now goes unnoticed.
@Mark
Fucking Tatoogate.
Anyway, this Keeper is officially inked.
@Mark
Only one that should care about your tattoo is yourself. As far as it relates to cycling, I thought tattoos were aerodynamic.