The Pain of Adolescence
There are three subjects you should not bring up in new company: Politics, Saddle Bags, and Helmets. In my experience, in fact, politics are a much safer subject with a stranger than that of the cursed EPMS; no subject I’ve ever broached has been met with more vitriol. Except maybe the use of helmets. I’m not going to advocate for helmets today, apart from stating that I wear one religiously. On the contrary, today’s lesson is about how bad helmets look.
They are monumentally awkward contraptions whose design heritage stems, apparently, from prototype simian Astronaut technology. Starting with the flowing locks of a champions paving a road in pure V, every head accessory looks slightly less awesome. From there, the cycling cap is the most stylish option, and barring that, the hairnet (ideally over a cycling cap.) Case closed, end of discussion.
The maturation from this ideal has been painful, complete with puberty and oozy zits. A friend of mine in highschool had such a horrible pubescent experience that he spent an alarming number of days with band-aides on his face. Cycling’s helmet evolution was worse. Observe.
Thank you sir, may I have another.
@rfreese888
I don’t believe there are any hurlers in the world who aren’t Hard Men. Beautiful sport, those guys are nails.
@universo
If anyone is going to get the Three Point System with that helmet right, its going to be David Millar.
@craigyboywonder
Quite like mine…
How about a similar article covering eyewear? Oakley Eyeshades evolving into smaller and more stylish offerings, and now heading into another huge one lens era (POC ugh). Of course Brikos would be a fantastic love/hate subplot.
Re: Denim shorts. I don’t always use emojis, but when I do, I use the puke emoji.
@slatanic
George Lucas called, you’re wanted on set in 10.
@PT
This is one seriously ugly helmet. It doesn’t even matter if it were the most aero helmet on the planet.
@Jay
There is a SERIOUS disturbance in the force when you knowingly or unknowingly replicate one of the most hated creatures in the galaxy…..
Happy Gilmore drive this one!?