We’ve all felt it; going over a bump or through a corner and feeling that unmistakable bit of slop in the handling that sends your heart straight to your feet. Hoping you’re wrong, you bounce the tire as you roll along, confirming you’ve got a puncture.

But it’s not really flat – not yet, at least. Just softening. The question is, do you stop or do you try to keep going and hope its a slow enough leak to finish the ride? Barring that, can you at least get to a comfortable spot to change the tire, such as the little café near the turnaround point. Everyone who has ever changed a tire knows that changing a tire with a coffee at hand is a civilized way to go about such things.

Or, hypothetically, you realize that you’ve forgotten to bring the little tool that removes your valve extender and valve core, making it impossible to change your tire. Which means you are now committed to a race against your slow leak to get home.

Forget the contre la montre; the real race of truth is the race against the escape of air in your tire as you speed home at full gas in an attempt to avoid a long wobbly walk of shame in cycling shoes.

Spoiler alert: I made it home. Hypothetically.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • I love me my FMB paris-roubaix for road racing, for sure. Best feeling ride evar. Had one simply explode one race mid pack with no obvious inciting object. Another developed a slow leak which some sealant I got many more races out of. Might still be riding it, actually.

  • @Phillip Mercer

    I ride clinchers with friends who ride tubs. Nothing more irritating when they put in the sealant, pump up, we get going only for the sealant to give way again repeated three times in one ride…

    Unneccessarily delaying the bunch is a concern I have always had on any wheel/tyre. It's why I use CO2 on bunch rides... hang the expense, it's about respecting others and getting moving again ASAP. I've just put tubs on my latest vintage build which I plan to ride on bunch rides. I will be carrying a new, spare tub, no latex simply because of the problem you mention. It seems to me these days the concept of respecting others, putting others first is lost on most but I won't get on that soap box here. I would not hessitate to tell the bunch to ride off without me if I were to be in the situation you mention above.

  • @chris

    Have not been on Orange long enough for a report. It just filled the biggest hole with the least amount of air loss, I have ever seen. The other latex stuff only worked about half the time and the other half the time it was spraying all over me.

  • @mauibike

    @chris

    Have not been on Orange long enough for a report. It just filled the biggest hole with the least amount of air loss, I have ever seen. The other latex stuff only worked about half the time and the other half the time it was spraying all over me.

    Yep, mauibike and I agree on this. The orange really works well (it has nano particles in it, so it must be bitchin'.). Does anyone need a large volume of cafe latex? It seals like ass. I've put the orange in, after the fact, on two slow leaks on two wheels. Both are still going strong even though the sealant has dried up in the innertube. And one resealed on the road in seconds when the sealant was not dried out. It's the same stuff I use for tubeless.

    So my on-the-road repair kit is an old visine bottle that holds about 80ml of sealant and a syringe. The syringe holds one of those core removing tools. Best of all, you can have a syringe on your bike so everyone knows you are a cyclist/doper.

    Speaking of dopers, not TD, but didn't that red bearded Italian Paolini of Katusha get booted out of the Tour for cocaine? That was pretty hush hush. Who does cocaine anymore? That does not get him fired? It was during the friggin' race?

  • @Puffy

    I too ride tubs… what to do when they wear down? Run it until the canvas shows, handling starts to get dangerous and a high risk of puncture or tear it off and throw a new one on?

    I’m at that point now and by not making the decision (budgetatus vs conserative logic) I am making the decsion to run the gauntlet…

    I wish I knew the answer.

    In my younger more foolish days I ran clinchers and have ridden home a couple of times with a flat no problem….well, no major problem. Just make sure you take the tube out, don’t go any faster than your grandmother can walk and forget about cornering!

    What is the reasoning behind taking the punctured tube out of a clincher tire for a delicate ride home? I done the ride, but never considered taking the tube out. Thanks!

  • @frank

    Wupatki and Sunset Crater national monuments, they run together outside of Flagstaff AZ. Great ride to go out and loop them. During summer a popular thing is to go during a full moon and ride them without lights. I've never done that so I can't comment on the relative safety.

  • @Gianni

    nano particles

    i think the VMH has that in her shampoo, must be the appliance of  science, or, dare i call - BULLSHIT

  • @Puffy

    @Phillip Mercer

    I ride clinchers with friends who ride tubs. Nothing more irritating when they put in the sealant, pump up, we get going only for the sealant to give way again repeated three times in one ride…

    Unneccessarily delaying the bunch is a concern I have always had on any wheel/tyre. It’s why I use CO2 on bunch rides… hang the expense, it’s about respecting others and getting moving again ASAP. I’ve just put tubs on my latest vintage build which I plan to ride on bunch rides. I will be carrying a new, spare tub, no latex simply because of the problem you mention. It seems to me these days the concept of respecting others, putting others first is lost on most but I won’t get on that soap box here. I would not hessitate to tell the bunch to ride off without me if I were to be in the situation you mention above.

    waiting is voluntary on bunch rides, they're for riding not standing around while people sort their shit.

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