Categories: Accessories and GearBreaking The RulesMusings from the V-Bunker

The Race of Truth

The dreaded slow leak

We’ve all felt it; going over a bump or through a corner and feeling that unmistakable bit of slop in the handling that sends your heart straight to your feet. Hoping you’re wrong, you bounce the tire as you roll along, confirming you’ve got a puncture.

But it’s not really flat – not yet, at least. Just softening. The question is, do you stop or do you try to keep going and hope its a slow enough leak to finish the ride? Barring that, can you at least get to a comfortable spot to change the tire, such as the little café near the turnaround point. Everyone who has ever changed a tire knows that changing a tire with a coffee at hand is a civilized way to go about such things.

Or, hypothetically, you realize that you’ve forgotten to bring the little tool that removes your valve extender and valve core, making it impossible to change your tire. Which means you are now committed to a race against your slow leak to get home.

Forget the contre la montre; the real race of truth is the race against the escape of air in your tire as you speed home at full gas in an attempt to avoid a long wobbly walk of shame in cycling shoes.

Spoiler alert: I made it home. Hypothetically.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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ChrisO says:

Aug 7 2015 at 12:16 am

@frank

@ChrisO

@Phillip Mercer

I ride clinchers with friends who ride tubs. Nothing more irritating when they put in the sealant, pump up, we get going only for the sealant to give way again repeated three times in one ride…

Surely there is one thing more irritating… listening to them prate on about how their tubs are So Much Betterer.

Very clever, and also really made me laugh, despite how recumbent-esque the joke inherently is. Nevertheless, the strike at the heart of truth inclines me to award you +1 badge despite the fact that I also recall you telling me something along the lines of, “It’s going to be hard convincing the missus that I have to buy all new wheels to change over to tubs” on Keepers Tour when you were riding tubs and loving it.

I said that? Well I suppose if it was a way to convince the missus I should buy new wheels it would be excusable.

Anyway, I'll take badges when they're on offer.
frank says:

Aug 7 2015 at 10:02 am

@ChrisO

I thought it was you, but it could easily have been another one of you pommy twats.
Dan_R says:

Aug 7 2015 at 11:15 am

Orange Seal, always in stock...
chris says:

Aug 7 2015 at 1:44 pm

@frank

@ChrisO

I thought it was you, but it could easily have been another one of you pommy twats.

Wasn't me. I'd already brought into the "tubs are so much betterer" thing that @ChrisO finds so tedious.

Personally, I find the amount of flats that the clincher crowd suffer to be irritating.

Btw, I'm sure @ChrisO will swear that he's not interested in the game but the Aussies are in the middle of a very heavy defeat at the hands of the poms at Five Day English Baseball (the real world series). Calling him a pommy twat will cut deep.
unversio says:

Aug 7 2015 at 2:36 pm

@chris

Personally, I find the amount of flats that the clincher crowd suffer to be irritating.

[ Redd Foxx voice ]
You big dummy!"

Your comment could hex us all! I've had a 2-year run on 4000s and Gatorskins, and now attempting to start another big lengthy run on Veloflex open and tubular.
unversio says:

Aug 7 2015 at 2:39 pm

No flats whether on tub wheels or clincher.
ChrisO says:

Aug 7 2015 at 11:54 pm

@chris

@frank

@ChrisO

I thought it was you, but it could easily have been another one of you pommy twats.

Calling him a pommy twat will cut deep.

I completely deny being a pommy.
ChrisO says:

Aug 8 2015 at 12:01 am

Although I did get into a supermarket checkout fight with a Frenchman this morning, so maybe I'm being assimilated.

If the fuckers could understand queues they might have a hope of sorting out those migrants.
Teocalli says:

Aug 8 2015 at 12:51 am

@Dan_R

Orange Seal, always in stock…

Do those beer glasses ship international?
The Engine says:

Aug 8 2015 at 2:33 pm

Fixing a flat on a still muggy summer evening near a loch anywhere in Scotland is utter utter misery thanks to the Highland midge