Categories: Accessories and GearKitLook Pro

The Tightness of Being

Diego Caccia demonstrates how to make tights work. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

Sprezzatura. Leave it to the Italians to dedicate a word to trying to Look Fantastic without looking like you’re trying too hard. I’ve haven’t spent much time in Italy, but I automatically love a country where an entire nation holds aesthetics in the same high regard that I do. Not to mention their dedication to drinking espresso and wine. A bottle of wine at lunch? I can work with these people.

Sprezzatura for the Velominatus applies to every aspect of the sport; how we set up our bikes, our style and technique when riding, and how we select and wear our kit. Looking good in the summer isn’t very complicated; any fool can look good in short-sleeved kit adorned with tanned guns. Where things start getting tricky is when the cold and wet sets in and we need to add more kit to the equation. How does one control the chaos as leg warmers, long-sleeve jerseys, caps, gloves, rain jackets and overshoes are added to the mix?

The basic concepts have already been covered under the principles of wearing one’s Flandrian Best; always wear as little as possible, never wear an accoutrement below when a complimentary set is not worn above (i.e. no knee warmers without arm warmers), and never – under any circumstances – wear full-length leggings.

Which brings us to today’s lesson: how to wear full-length leggings and still look as Fantastic as possible. Sometimes it is simply too cold for three-quarters and there is no denying the Pro-ness of casually wandering about sipping a pre-ride espresso in sandals, full length leg warmers, and a long sleeve jersey – especially on a warm summer day. Sprezzatura is an art, and it should not be taken lightly.

The fundamental problem with leggings is that they make the guns amorphous; lots of fabric without any points of definition give the eyes nothing to focus on. If you have amazing calves (which I don’t) then you may be able to break up the monotony with your bodacious leg curves, but the rest of us are going to need some help.

Always go with leg warmers and not one-piece tights. The reason for this is simple: the legs of your shorts will provide the first visual delineation for the eyes to grab ahold of.
The leggings should also always have an elastic gripper around the ankle, not a stirrup. This is Cycling, not ballet. Better yet, the ankles should have a short zipper to ease pre-departure removal of said leggings and also to provide a little more delineation.
When it comes to materials, the more matte the better. In fact, I prefer wool. Thick materials are also handy, as they add some bulk and make the guns look less spindly. All good things.
Look for some leggings with good, thick seams. Again, this makes wool a strong candidate. Align the seams carefully to accentuate whatever curves your leggs can muster up, and make sure both legs are symmetrical. We are not savages.
Wear a contrasting color sock. White is preferable, of course, as demonstrated by Diego above but any color works so long as its not the same as the legging (which should obviously be black).

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

paolo says:

Mar 27 2015 at 8:38 am

@paolo

Too many words. Looks like you’re all trying too hard. Sprezzatura…not

This man is an impostor!.
Stephen says:

Mar 27 2015 at 10:12 pm

You keep using this term leg-warmers. But I think you meant "embro." And if it's too cold for embro, it's either winter break on the beach, or winter training in Mallorca. <Stop>
Ashley Evans says:

Mar 28 2015 at 3:34 pm

White socks over tights, always.
PT says:

Mar 29 2015 at 4:39 am

@Frank, Luca Paolini may be using a very specific interpretation of the rules which you may care to discuss with him.

Check photo 4 ( I think) in this collection.

http://velonews.competitor.com/2015/03/gallery/photo-essay-2015-e3-harelbeke_364737
frank says:

Mar 29 2015 at 4:05 pm

@PT

Disgraceful.
frank says:

Mar 29 2015 at 4:11 pm

@MangoDave

@ChrisO

…

I grew up mainly with metric and have trouble working out what’s hot or not on the Fahrenheit scale but… I do get why people like it.

In everyday usage Celsius is only good in a narrow range. Zero to 40. After that… I don’t care what temperature the water for my tea is, I just need to know whether it’s boiling or not.

If I understood it I think I would probably be happy to go retro on the temperature, just as I still do on height with feet and inches. Although I’m fine with km and km/h, despite being old enough to remember changing over from miles.

I’ll adhere to Rule #24 in discussions, but it’s only after doing a mental conversion. I have no plans on changing the units to km on my cyclocomputers, mainly because I have almost 25 years of hand written training logs all in imperial measurements and I’m going to be consistent.

Nice demonstration of the Masturbation Principle. Apart from the admission, obviously.
frank says:

Mar 29 2015 at 4:12 pm

@Ashley Evans

White socks over tights, always.

I wish that picture had come through; you can't drag and drop despite the fact the picture shows up on your end, sadly.

@Ashley Evans

White socks over tights, always.

I wish that picture had come through; you can't drag and drop despite the fact the picture shows up on your end, sadly. But the little photo upload button works fine if you are logged in, even from an ipad etc.
frank says:

Mar 29 2015 at 4:18 pm

@Stephen

You keep using this term leg-warmers. But I think you meant “embro.” And if it’s too cold for embro, it’s either winter break on the beach, or winter training in Mallorca. <Stop>

Yes, of course. It also begs to point out that the "Embro Application Stage" is just as flattering as the "Luca Over the Shorts Bibs".
Eric says:

Mar 29 2015 at 10:52 pm
@DeKerr
@frank
@Walbly

“and never – under any circumstances – wear full-length leggings” ???

Are you serious? Why don’t you tough guys come up north and ride when it is 14 degF in your groovy knickers with your frost-bitten calves sluffing off in big black chunks. With two pair of full-length fleece tights and one pair full-length regular tights I still am lucky if I can do 12 miles without feeling like I won’t even be able to get off my bike, much less strut around showing everybody my delineation.

Do you ever even wear full-fingered gloves? And you call yourselves tough.

Two things in life are sure:

If I post a photo of my bike, someone who has not seen me riding it will tell me it does not fit me.

If I propose that tights or saddle bags are for losers, I will immediately receive a nastygram.

These are the primary reasons I have not yet retired from Velominati.
I know – right?

Although I suspect the reason @Walby can only crank 19.312128 kilometers (enough with the imperial measurements everyone – this is cycling, not Nascar) is due to his enormous ballocks stuffed into that much gear.
Hah!

And speaking of, what the hell's a degF?

Use Kelvin, if you must.
minion says:

Mar 30 2015 at 3:50 am

@frank

@PT

Disgraceful.

Aaaaaaand he won so suck it/

Aaaaaaand he won wearing those tights over the line. So suck it twice.

Aaaaaaand if you think you can ride and never wear full length tights you don't live somewhere that cold. I've started rides at -7c and finished them at -5c. If you want to ride in that shit in knee warmers go right ahead. But you'd be an idiot.