Categories: Accessories and GearKitLook Pro

The Tightness of Being

Diego Caccia demonstrates how to make tights work. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

Sprezzatura. Leave it to the Italians to dedicate a word to trying to Look Fantastic without looking like you’re trying too hard. I’ve haven’t spent much time in Italy, but I automatically love a country where an entire nation holds aesthetics in the same high regard that I do. Not to mention their dedication to drinking espresso and wine. A bottle of wine at lunch? I can work with these people.

Sprezzatura for the Velominatus applies to every aspect of the sport; how we set up our bikes, our style and technique when riding, and how we select and wear our kit. Looking good in the summer isn’t very complicated; any fool can look good in short-sleeved kit adorned with tanned guns. Where things start getting tricky is when the cold and wet sets in and we need to add more kit to the equation. How does one control the chaos as leg warmers, long-sleeve jerseys, caps, gloves, rain jackets and overshoes are added to the mix?

The basic concepts have already been covered under the principles of wearing one’s Flandrian Best; always wear as little as possible, never wear an accoutrement below when a complimentary set is not worn above (i.e. no knee warmers without arm warmers), and never – under any circumstances – wear full-length leggings.

Which brings us to today’s lesson: how to wear full-length leggings and still look as Fantastic as possible. Sometimes it is simply too cold for three-quarters and there is no denying the Pro-ness of casually wandering about sipping a pre-ride espresso in sandals, full length leg warmers, and a long sleeve jersey – especially on a warm summer day. Sprezzatura is an art, and it should not be taken lightly.

The fundamental problem with leggings is that they make the guns amorphous; lots of fabric without any points of definition give the eyes nothing to focus on. If you have amazing calves (which I don’t) then you may be able to break up the monotony with your bodacious leg curves, but the rest of us are going to need some help.

Always go with leg warmers and not one-piece tights. The reason for this is simple: the legs of your shorts will provide the first visual delineation for the eyes to grab ahold of.
The leggings should also always have an elastic gripper around the ankle, not a stirrup. This is Cycling, not ballet. Better yet, the ankles should have a short zipper to ease pre-departure removal of said leggings and also to provide a little more delineation.
When it comes to materials, the more matte the better. In fact, I prefer wool. Thick materials are also handy, as they add some bulk and make the guns look less spindly. All good things.
Look for some leggings with good, thick seams. Again, this makes wool a strong candidate. Align the seams carefully to accentuate whatever curves your leggs can muster up, and make sure both legs are symmetrical. We are not savages.
Wear a contrasting color sock. White is preferable, of course, as demonstrated by Diego above but any color works so long as its not the same as the legging (which should obviously be black).

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

osbk67 says:

Mar 25 2015 at 9:57 am

@VeloVita

Grotesque. Lady Gaga goes bicycling.
Ron says:

Mar 25 2015 at 11:39 am

@frank

Appologies to @Pedale.Forchetta: The main shot is your photo and we credited you but somehow the credit/caption is not coming through. So sorry; will try to sort out why the caption isn’t coming through correctly.

Shots that cool go without saying. I didn't even consider it was from anyone besides Pedale.!
Ron says:

Mar 25 2015 at 11:44 am

@gilvelo

Just move to California where we do not use any of that shit!!!

I don't think so. My brother has been there too long, clearly. He just bought a Porsche. Yet, he has secured his broken crank arm on his ride-to-go-surfing bike with...duct tape.

I need to have a Rule 25 intervention.
DeKerr says:

Mar 25 2015 at 1:23 pm

@ChrisO

I am inclined to romanticism and retro where aesthetics are concerned but when in comes to that which can be precisely measured then I am for the system that provides the greatest consistent accuracy.

There is a reason a crank arm, even on a bro-set, is not measured in fractions of a barleycorn. And so it should be in stating the temperature during a Rule #9 ride.

Besides, averaging 25 km/h over 70 km in -3 degree C sounds way better than averaging 15 mph over 40 miles in 25 degree F. (interesting note: the USA is the only country using Fahrenheit as the official unit where you could do that).
gilly says:

Mar 25 2015 at 2:20 pm

@John

Even Sagan couldnt carry that look off.
frank says:

Mar 25 2015 at 2:38 pm

@gilly

Not even close.
fenlander says:

Mar 26 2015 at 6:20 am

Well I submitted the tights faux-pas yesterday but as the temp was hovering around 3c with a nice northerly breeze making it feel colder (there's not a lot to stop any northerlies coming down the north sea through the wash and over the fens) and being a 54 year old who's joints feel any cold meant this transgression had to be made.
teleguy57 says:

Mar 26 2015 at 7:52 am

@fenlander

Well I submitted the tights faux-pas yesterday but as the temp was hovering around 3c with a nice northerly breeze making it feel colder (there’s not a lot to stop any northerlies coming down the north sea through the wash and over the fens) and being a 54 year old who’s joints feel any cold meant this transgression had to be made.

I don't think apologies are necessary. My almost 61-year-old knees tell me the same. High of 3C today with 20+kph winds, high of -3C for tomorrow so I'll have bib knicks with full tights over to give my knees the protection they need. Oh, and these merinos came yesterday so I'll be smiling wearing them (even though they'll be under everything else):
MangoDave says:

Mar 26 2015 at 2:42 pm

@ChrisO

...

I grew up mainly with metric and have trouble working out what’s hot or not on the Fahrenheit scale but… I do get why people like it.

In everyday usage Celsius is only good in a narrow range. Zero to 40. After that… I don’t care what temperature the water for my tea is, I just need to know whether it’s boiling or not.

If I understood it I think I would probably be happy to go retro on the temperature, just as I still do on height with feet and inches. Although I’m fine with km and km/h, despite being old enough to remember changing over from miles.

I'll adhere to Rule 24 in discussions, but it's only after doing a mental conversion. I have no plans on changing the units to km on my cyclocomputers, mainly because I have almost 25 years of hand written training logs all in imperial measurements and I'm going to be consistent.

As far as low temperatures and leggings, that's just a fantasy for where I live. Today it's 32*C in the southwest desert, perfect conditions for my afternoon ride. Kudos to all of you who kit up and are dealing with the cold.
brett says:

Mar 26 2015 at 3:50 pm

@paolo

Too many words. Looks like you’re all trying too hard. Sprezzatura…not

Big difference between trying too hard and not trying at all... this shit should just come naturally. It's the difference between going to work in a suit/smart clothes or a fucking tracksuit and slippers.