The Tightness of Being
Sprezzatura. Leave it to the Italians to dedicate a word to trying to Look Fantastic without looking like you’re trying too hard. I’ve haven’t spent much time in Italy, but I automatically love a country where an entire nation holds aesthetics in the same high regard that I do. Not to mention their dedication to drinking espresso and wine. A bottle of wine at lunch? I can work with these people.
Sprezzatura for the Velominatus applies to every aspect of the sport; how we set up our bikes, our style and technique when riding, and how we select and wear our kit. Looking good in the summer isn’t very complicated; any fool can look good in short-sleeved kit adorned with tanned guns. Where things start getting tricky is when the cold and wet sets in and we need to add more kit to the equation. How does one control the chaos as leg warmers, long-sleeve jerseys, caps, gloves, rain jackets and overshoes are added to the mix?
The basic concepts have already been covered under the principles of wearing one’s Flandrian Best; always wear as little as possible, never wear an accoutrement below when a complimentary set is not worn above (i.e. no knee warmers without arm warmers), and never – under any circumstances – wear full-length leggings.
Which brings us to today’s lesson: how to wear full-length leggings and still look as Fantastic as possible. Sometimes it is simply too cold for three-quarters and there is no denying the Pro-ness of casually wandering about sipping a pre-ride espresso in sandals, full length leg warmers, and a long sleeve jersey – especially on a warm summer day. Sprezzatura is an art, and it should not be taken lightly.
The fundamental problem with leggings is that they make the guns amorphous; lots of fabric without any points of definition give the eyes nothing to focus on. If you have amazing calves (which I don’t) then you may be able to break up the monotony with your bodacious leg curves, but the rest of us are going to need some help.
- Always go with leg warmers and not one-piece tights. The reason for this is simple: the legs of your shorts will provide the first visual delineation for the eyes to grab ahold of.
- The leggings should also always have an elastic gripper around the ankle, not a stirrup. This is Cycling, not ballet. Better yet, the ankles should have a short zipper to ease pre-departure removal of said leggings and also to provide a little more delineation.
- When it comes to materials, the more matte the better. In fact, I prefer wool. Thick materials are also handy, as they add some bulk and make the guns look less spindly. All good things.
- Look for some leggings with good, thick seams. Again, this makes wool a strong candidate. Align the seams carefully to accentuate whatever curves your leggs can muster up, and make sure both legs are symmetrical. We are not savages.
- Wear a contrasting color sock. White is preferable, of course, as demonstrated by Diego above but any color works so long as its not the same as the legging (which should obviously be black).
Tafi shows off his luscious curves in the Trench.
@VeloSix
A former Pro I used to work with (Matt Illingworth – Linda McCartney team) would wear his leg warmers over the shorts… looked like shit, but he insisted that was the way the Pros did it and as he is a big, angry Pom I’d not push the point too far…
@Owen
Just… no. Are your toes cold but heels/ankles warm? I don’t think so. They are an abomination.
I dunno. I have some Castelli Sorpasso bibtights that I think are very comfortable and don’t look bad (for tights). I obviously prefer a regular kit with warmers when possible, but for long rides below 40 degrees the area between where the warmers end on my quads and where my jersey begins at the waist (read: crotch) just gets too cold.
Can anyone recommend a decent cool and cold weather bibshort?
Just grabbed a pair of these to take to Belgium, they go over your socks, but I’d think you’d have to wear booties over them to keep the Looks Fantastic. They seem to fit pretty snug but not like socks.
On our 9 ride last weekend i found out that De Feet Slipstreams are great for cooler weather, but useless if it’s pissing down.
@il muro di manayunk
Good god man!?! 40 degrees Celsius is where you start wearing warmers?!? That’s still above normal body core temperature. What do you do when you get down to single digits? Or when water starts to freeze… at – you know – 0 degrees Celsius?
@brett
Often times, yeah that’s exactly what happens. My toes get unnaturally cold when logic says they shouldn’t.
But I’ll be duly chastened and not tell you about it next time.
@DeKerr
Ha. Sorry, 40 fahrenheit (it’s actually more like 38F or around 3.33C if we are being exact).
Don,t know where you all are from but from the sound of most postings your living or a least riding in temps that are above freezing . Here in southern Ontario its just plain cold . Its full on bib tights with stirrups over bib shorts. A heavy high quality softshell jacket over some good base layers .topped off with a nice woolie skull cap ,wool socks and some 45NRTH Fasterkatt kicks to keep the feet warm in the -8 to -10 degree celcius windchills . Have not seen another rider in 3 weeks while out in these temps . Hell its gonna feel like summer up here when the temps finally get above freezing . Then I,ll get out the leg warmers and bask in the weather most have been calling cold .
@VeloSix
The Euros love warming up in fulls. Sweating helps drain some of the retained water caused by cortisone.
@brett
IAM Barbie went that way on the weekend…a perfect example of why Looking Pro and & Looking Fantastic are not always the same thing (still no gloves though).
@frank
…dammit, now I have something new to research….
Am all for looking “fantastic” but when the wind chills are at -10c staying relatively warm while riding roads that look like sandboxes from a harsh winter of sanding and salting , fashion tends to take the back seat to keeping from freezing my balls off .
@snowgeek
Thank you; I was too modest to say it myself.
Ok then Lets just all look fantastic who the fuck cares if were,re freezin our nuts off and thinkin we,re so hard all along the way , fashion rules !!! After all who in the world is tougher and more fashionable than we are .
@frank
Ah. By toe warmers I mean the single use chemical ones that give off heat for several hours after begin exposed to air. You stick one atop the tip of each sock, obviously completely hidden inside your shoes. Above 50F shoes alone work. Between 40F and 50F hidden chemical toe warmers do the job. Below 40F when out more than a couple hours I have to add shoe covers. Results without these steps have gone beyond numbness; strayed into mild frostbite with dead skin layers.
FWIW I ride below freezing also, though below about 25F the outings are limited to an hour because the bottles freeze. This winter one of my commutes was 20F, and though only half an hour I was pretty glad to get back to the house. I have great respect for our brethren up North who ride in even colder conditions.
Too many words. Looks like you’re all trying too hard. Sprezzatura…not
@Dave
Ah yes, those saved my toes on the incredibly cold Keepers Tour 2013. Hopefully won’t need them this time…
@il muro di manayunk
Appologies to @Pedale.Forchetta: The main shot is your photo and we credited you but somehow the credit/caption is not coming through. So sorry; will try to sort out why the caption isn’t coming through correctly.
@Mikael Liddy
‘Tis a fine feeling to see the lessons we be teachin’ be gettin’ learned as well. One might argue to put the legging over both the socks and the bibs in order to facilitate the removal once the race is afoot, but Heinnie is making life outright difficult for himself here. Not to mention that if you require that much kit, surely gloves would be in order?
Have to respect a man who holds his brand above all else, I suppose. Imagine what he could do if helmets weren’t compulsory.
@steelhead
Nothing says ,hardcore, like using all the wrong punctuation in all the right places. Beers all around!
@Dave
Metric motherfuckers, METRIC!!!
@frank
Im sohardcoreI barelyusethefuckinspacebar
@frank
What the fuck is Sauceler up to anyway? At first I thought he was removing the tag from his new Dicuts but now I think he might be trying to inflate a gel or using a €20 note to undo a sticky valve….Story please!
@harminator
I think he spotted a used scratchcard on the floor and is checking it to see if he could claim £20.
I have the same Giordana leg warmers as Diego. They work a treat.
@DeKerr
I don’t know that the Rules intend for all units to be metric. Rule #24 refers to speeds and distances only.
I grew up mainly with metric and have trouble working out what’s hot or not on the Fahrenheit scale but… I do get why people like it.
In everyday usage Celsius is only good in a narrow range. Zero to 40. After that… I don’t care what temperature the water for my tea is, I just need to know whether it’s boiling or not.
If I understood it I think I would probably be happy to go retro on the temperature, just as I still do on height with feet and inches. Although I’m fine with km and km/h, despite being old enough to remember changing over from miles.
@frank
We all know the hardcore factor is measured in exclamation points!!!!
@RobSandy
That’s gold! Damn, I’m laughing my ass off.
Just move to California where we do not use any of that shit!!!
@VeloVita
Grotesque. Lady Gaga goes bicycling.
@frank
Shots that cool go without saying. I didn’t even consider it was from anyone besides Pedale.!
@gilvelo
I don’t think so. My brother has been there too long, clearly. He just bought a Porsche. Yet, he has secured his broken crank arm on his ride-to-go-surfing bike with…duct tape.
I need to have a Rule #25 intervention.
@ChrisO
I am inclined to romanticism and retro where aesthetics are concerned but when in comes to that which can be precisely measured then I am for the system that provides the greatest consistent accuracy.
There is a reason a crank arm, even on a bro-set, is not measured in fractions of a barleycorn. And so it should be in stating the temperature during a Rule #9 ride.
Besides, averaging 25 km/h over 70 km in -3 degree C sounds way better than averaging 15 mph over 40 miles in 25 degree F. (interesting note: the USA is the only country using Fahrenheit as the official unit where you could do that).
@John
Even Sagan couldnt carry that look off.
@gilly
Not even close.
Well I submitted the tights faux-pas yesterday but as the temp was hovering around 3c with a nice northerly breeze making it feel colder (there’s not a lot to stop any northerlies coming down the north sea through the wash and over the fens) and being a 54 year old who’s joints feel any cold meant this transgression had to be made.
@fenlander
I don’t think apologies are necessary. My almost 61-year-old knees tell me the same. High of 3C today with 20+kph winds, high of -3C for tomorrow so I’ll have bib knicks with full tights over to give my knees the protection they need. Oh, and these merinos came yesterday so I’ll be smiling wearing them (even though they’ll be under everything else):
@ChrisO
I’ll adhere to Rule #24 in discussions, but it’s only after doing a mental conversion. I have no plans on changing the units to km on my cyclocomputers, mainly because I have almost 25 years of hand written training logs all in imperial measurements and I’m going to be consistent.
As far as low temperatures and leggings, that’s just a fantasy for where I live. Today it’s 32*C in the southwest desert, perfect conditions for my afternoon ride. Kudos to all of you who kit up and are dealing with the cold.
@paolo
Big difference between trying too hard and not trying at all… this shit should just come naturally. It’s the difference between going to work in a suit/smart clothes or a fucking tracksuit and slippers.
@paolo
This man is an impostor!.
You keep using this term leg-warmers. But I think you meant “embro.” And if it’s too cold for embro, it’s either winter break on the beach, or winter training in Mallorca. <Stop>
White socks over tights, always.
@Frank, Luca Paolini may be using a very specific interpretation of the rules which you may care to discuss with him.
Check photo 4 ( I think) in this collection.
http://velonews.competitor.com/2015/03/gallery/photo-essay-2015-e3-harelbeke_364737
@PT
Disgraceful.
@MangoDave
Nice demonstration of the Masturbation Principle. Apart from the admission, obviously.
@Ashley Evans
I wish that picture had come through; you can’t drag and drop despite the fact the picture shows up on your end, sadly.
@Ashley Evans
I wish that picture had come through; you can’t drag and drop despite the fact the picture shows up on your end, sadly. But the little photo upload button works fine if you are logged in, even from an ipad etc.
@Stephen
Yes, of course. It also begs to point out that the “Embro Application Stage” is just as flattering as the “Luca Over the Shorts Bibs”.
@DeKerr
Hah!
And speaking of, what the hell’s a degF?
Use Kelvin, if you must.
@frank
Aaaaaaand he won so suck it/
Aaaaaaand he won wearing those tights over the line. So suck it twice.
Aaaaaaand if you think you can ride and never wear full length tights you don’t live somewhere that cold. I’ve started rides at -7c and finished them at -5c. If you want to ride in that shit in knee warmers go right ahead. But you’d be an idiot.