Keep this on the massage table
We all know where I stand in the cycling sock department, white and not too tall, any color sock as long as it’s white. If you have diminished calves and need to somehow hide that by wearing too tall socks, that is sad but not a crime. I always thought I was less flexible on color than height. Today I’ve changed my mind.
I was in the car when I saw a cyclist in a long sleeve, all white Rock Racing kit. Rock Racing, interesting choice, not a team I would want make believe I rode for but it was tidy. This was matched with a white helmet and white shoes and for an elitist snob like myself it was all fine. It would have been all fine barring the white knee length compression stockings! I don’t even know what compression stockings are or what they supposedly do but for his sake they had better not be just white knee length cycling socks. He had better have a severe medical condition to justify that look.
Doctor: You have a condition known as “Catholic School Girl”. If you don’t wear white knee socks your legs will fall off or you will become wildly promiscuous, but in your case most likely the first.
How can one misstep so quickly change everything? I’ve seen other cyclist in high compression socks but matching them to an all white kit is somehow saying, yes, I still have it going on here, I look Pro. FFS, I now regret not turning the car around so I could have pulled along side and asked what he thought he was doing. Or at least taken a photo for this article. Or issued a V-ticket for visual effrontery. Or nudged him off the road into a ditch.
There ought to be a Rule! Rule #28 needs an addendum with this compression thing out there. Eddy had no idea this was coming. If the Velominati are to keep ahead of these trends we better get on this now, before it is too late.
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View Comments
@Mike
Death by mini-pump. Alternatively, the execution can be performed by having the offender bite down hard on a CO2 cartridge.
@SamV
"Judge, which kind of murder is worse? Shooting someone with a gun or shooting someone with a crossbow?"
@Gianni
nope, I even went & married one!
@JohnB
What about where my monster calf muscles bulge during the down stroke? That can't be very aero!
After moving up to the Olympic Peninsula of WA state, I noticed that the compression sock thing is big in the Bellingham area. Some of the "socks" aren't even socks; they're like Olivia Newton-John leg warmers.
WTF is up with that, Seattle people? Are they raised by wolves up there?
@frank
Looking at the arrow protruding from your chest -- that's gotta be -- not good.
@Nate
Ah yes, the rule might effectively label the offender -- a heretic!
@Mikael Liddy
Mrs Liddy from Ohio ?
@Barracuda
nah she's a local, but is a product of a catholic girls' school.
@Mikael Liddy
You might then enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b25ivnfduQ&t=34
You only need the first 3 1/2 minutes, but you may as well enjoy a session of the Fabulous Poodles.