Keep this on the massage table
We all know where I stand in the cycling sock department, white and not too tall, any color sock as long as it’s white. If you have diminished calves and need to somehow hide that by wearing too tall socks, that is sad but not a crime. I always thought I was less flexible on color than height. Today I’ve changed my mind.
I was in the car when I saw a cyclist in a long sleeve, all white Rock Racing kit. Rock Racing, interesting choice, not a team I would want make believe I rode for but it was tidy. This was matched with a white helmet and white shoes and for an elitist snob like myself it was all fine. It would have been all fine barring the white knee length compression stockings! I don’t even know what compression stockings are or what they supposedly do but for his sake they had better not be just white knee length cycling socks. He had better have a severe medical condition to justify that look.
Doctor: You have a condition known as “Catholic School Girl”. If you don’t wear white knee socks your legs will fall off or you will become wildly promiscuous, but in your case most likely the first.
How can one misstep so quickly change everything? I’ve seen other cyclist in high compression socks but matching them to an all white kit is somehow saying, yes, I still have it going on here, I look Pro. FFS, I now regret not turning the car around so I could have pulled along side and asked what he thought he was doing. Or at least taken a photo for this article. Or issued a V-ticket for visual effrontery. Or nudged him off the road into a ditch.
There ought to be a Rule! Rule #28 needs an addendum with this compression thing out there. Eddy had no idea this was coming. If the Velominati are to keep ahead of these trends we better get on this now, before it is too late.
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The lead photo leads me to another rule issue.
Rule #7 guides us in the maintenance of razor sharp tan lines, but do we really want the googles effect and the tide line across the forehead?
Having enjoyed a southern summer and following a recent haircut there is a line across my forehead as well defined as the Plimsoll Line.
We however, do not have the option to go sans helmet so I guess it's there to stay.
@Mikael Liddy
Once again my sarcasm failed to show in the font. Damn
Oh dear, I just googled 'catholic school girls socks' just as the missus walked in. Thanks a lot guys, I expect to find ground-glass, razor blades and itching powder secreted in my cycling shorts for the next few months.
Oh, and @frank:
This line didn't help my explanation much.
@Barracuda
Until @frank fixes the Central Italicizer, there's probably a song by that other Frank:
@markb
Coffee all over my computer screen ! firstly your post, then re-reading @frank 's post. The man is talented if he's doing that on a bike on the way home from work !
many people have to wear compression socks as treatment for varicose veins . So what's your view about that then
I was given some to wear after the operation I had last year, presumably to prevent DVT and me dropping dead.
They made me feeling a cross between Norah Batty and...well...a pervert. The thought of wearing them in public is horrifying.
@frank
Hear hear. What's worse: EPMS, or frame mounted pump, or washer nut or valve stem cap, unshaven legs or or...
Page 10: The Rules are numbered chronologically as they were added to the canon - not by order or importance. Page 9: ....chief among The Rules is Rule #5. 'Nuff said.
@DeKerr
Pfft.
The runner's equivalent of "Looking Pro" is "Looking Kenyan". Even if you're the first American in god-knows-how-long to win the Boston Marathon.
Funny thing, @Gianni. The Velominati might consider this unnecessary and obvious, but there is a rule about compression socks right in the UCI rulebook: Socks are not allowed to be longer than half the calf, and there's a limit on how compressive any fabric is allowed to be.
@JohnB
Ding-ding! Accurate. Turns out most shoe covers are actually less aero than uncovered shoes and shaved guns. There are a few - Pearl Izumi's Barrier Pro, and one of the Castelli latexy things - but most are, at best, even with an uncovered shoe. If you don't have a wind-tunnel to test, better not rock any shoe-covers (unless it's freezing).