Keep this on the massage table
We all know where I stand in the cycling sock department, white and not too tall, any color sock as long as it’s white. If you have diminished calves and need to somehow hide that by wearing too tall socks, that is sad but not a crime. I always thought I was less flexible on color than height. Today I’ve changed my mind.
I was in the car when I saw a cyclist in a long sleeve, all white Rock Racing kit. Rock Racing, interesting choice, not a team I would want make believe I rode for but it was tidy. This was matched with a white helmet and white shoes and for an elitist snob like myself it was all fine. It would have been all fine barring the white knee length compression stockings! I don’t even know what compression stockings are or what they supposedly do but for his sake they had better not be just white knee length cycling socks. He had better have a severe medical condition to justify that look.
Doctor: You have a condition known as “Catholic School Girl”. If you don’t wear white knee socks your legs will fall off or you will become wildly promiscuous, but in your case most likely the first.
How can one misstep so quickly change everything? I’ve seen other cyclist in high compression socks but matching them to an all white kit is somehow saying, yes, I still have it going on here, I look Pro. FFS, I now regret not turning the car around so I could have pulled along side and asked what he thought he was doing. Or at least taken a photo for this article. Or issued a V-ticket for visual effrontery. Or nudged him off the road into a ditch.
There ought to be a Rule! Rule #28 needs an addendum with this compression thing out there. Eddy had no idea this was coming. If the Velominati are to keep ahead of these trends we better get on this now, before it is too late.
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@frank
So now we know waaaay too much about @Frank, we all knew what he meant but I fixed his punctuation for clarity. The image of him riding home from his barista job with flat pedals, cafe bars, aerospokes, earring and tight jeans....
Covers eyes, shakes head, so sad.
back on topic, just no to this fad, it's like fanny packs and sun visors.
@Chris
Your wish etc:
BTW, how's the recovery going?
@markb
I was thinking a Lampre Jersey icon or possibly even Radio Schleck.
Remind me; what was I recovering from? Injury or apathy?
Either way I'm back on the evil bastard indoor sessions as of Tuesday. It hurt and it'll hurt again tonight.
@PeakInTwoYears
Down here in the Tri Cities it's all YJA so it could be worse.
@markb
Well enough that I can tell @Chris the -1 badge is at the top of Box Hill and if he thinks he can get to it faster than me, I'm ready. I'll even strap my walking stick to the frame for extra weight.
So, yeah, doing OK thanks. Been putting in some turbo time, but will be doing a real ride in the hills this weekend so that will be a big test. TBH I'm more worried about the descents than the climbs and how my head will be.
Physio seems pretty happy. My strength in the main muscle groups is OK and I'm not too uneven. The main weakness is balance - the smaller muscles you use to correct and shift your weight, so e.g. I can do a leg press or a curl but am very wobbly if I try to stand on my right leg. I think sorting that out will be the final 10-15% I'm probably lacking at the moment.
@ChrisO
@Chris
Sounds like you are both ready for Keepers tour then...
@Thursday
If I was drinking coffee it would be on the screen!
@markb Chapeau good sir... but it's a bit big. I would expect a -1 badge to be something tiny and shameful.
@Steampunk
@all - I highly recommend doing this for long flights. I never thought about wearing stupid compression socks until I ended up with a DVT and pulminary embolism after a 7 hour overnight flight a few years ago. Now I'm on blood thinners for life, which sucks ass, especially since I have to worry more about the consequences of crashing. There was a medical study a while ago that suggests well-trained endurance athletes are more susceptible to DVTs than the general public, presumably because of slowed heart rate and blood pooling while resting.
That said, there's no way in hell I'd be wearing them on a ride. I can barely stand the look of the taller socks that are in fashion in the pro peloton these days.
Now that I've gotten my serious comment out of the way, carry on with the hilarious discussion, gents...
@MangoDave
Yikes, that shit sounds scary.... considering I might be flying a whole lot more in my near future