This is a gordon, not a bidon.
This is serious, people. I hope you’re sitting down. Really. Sit down. Not a half sit. A real sit. Both cheeks. If you’re reading this on your phone, put the phone away and wait until you are sitting behind a computer like a civilized person.
Ready? Deep breath.
I have it on the excellent authority of my French friend Anne that that this is what a bidon looks like, not this.
I told you to sit down. My initial reaction was one of defiance and disbelief. I even suggested that I understood Le Langue du Peloton better than she does. In her infinite grace and my infinite obtuseness and ever-increasing volume, she almost conceded this as a possible explanation to this ground-rattling revelation.
There is something seriously fishy going on in this here petri dishy if what we as a collective of Cyclists – even those in France – have referred to as bidons are actually giant plastic jugs that are more commonly strapped to backs of Jeeps and motos than bicycles. Maybe we would take a bidon in the car to the start of a big ride, to fill up what we should probably be calling une gourde. Madness.
Cornered, I sought the advice of my good friend William, who represents one half of both Pavé Cycling Classics and Malteni Beer. He replied with his usual delicacy and the natural charm that I assume made him a good sprinter:
Tell her to fuck off. Was she born in the 50’s? For fuck’s sake. We haven’t called them gourdes since before the war when they were metal and were stopped up with corks. For fuck’s sake.
The only conclusion I can come to is that when the plastic bottle was introduced, some bright spark called it a bidon half as a pisstake and half as a way to distinguish this novelty from the traditional bar-mounted bottle. And we’ve been confusing the non-Cycling French population ever since.
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@chuckp
Damn! I am ordering one of these ASAP!
@LawnCzar
I bought this print a while ago. Just love it!
@Buck Rogers
That print is hanging in our service course as well. We love it too. Emerson and company are also coming out with an limited serigraph this year and you should be one of the first to know when it is ready — a series to focus on memorable episodes of the Giro d'Italia. And welcome back now that I understand you've been out and away in the wilderness.
@emerson
Thanks, man! Yeah, for some weird reason my work computer would not let me post on the site for over a year but now it is fixed and I am able to spread my reign of terror all over the site once again!
As for the Giro prints, I'll be standing by with credit card in hand! Thanks for that info! (hope they have a Hampsten version--although a blank piece of white paper is all that is probably needed to truly capture that moment in time)
@Buck Rogers
That's a good example of using negative white space for sure.
@Pedale.Forchetta
This photo, right here, is justification alone for this site to exist. Perfetto.
@Barracuda
Is that before or after he laid down some heat (ok, V) on Wilunga today?
@chris
I work with a bunch of young people, so I take great joy in drinking from this and staring at the youngster on the other end.
@Buck Rogers
I would argue that that entire exchange is a prime example of why we're awesome.
Also, I'm not aware of any other site anywhere on the internet that can conjure up 100+ remarks to the notion that perhaps we are using the wrong incorrect term for "water bottle". That, I would say, is why we are here.