This is a gordon, not a bidon.
This is serious, people. I hope you’re sitting down. Really. Sit down. Not a half sit. A real sit. Both cheeks. If you’re reading this on your phone, put the phone away and wait until you are sitting behind a computer like a civilized person.
Ready? Deep breath.
I have it on the excellent authority of my French friend Anne that that this is what a bidon looks like, not this.
I told you to sit down. My initial reaction was one of defiance and disbelief. I even suggested that I understood Le Langue du Peloton better than she does. In her infinite grace and my infinite obtuseness and ever-increasing volume, she almost conceded this as a possible explanation to this ground-rattling revelation.
There is something seriously fishy going on in this here petri dishy if what we as a collective of Cyclists – even those in France – have referred to as bidons are actually giant plastic jugs that are more commonly strapped to backs of Jeeps and motos than bicycles. Maybe we would take a bidon in the car to the start of a big ride, to fill up what we should probably be calling une gourde. Madness.
Cornered, I sought the advice of my good friend William, who represents one half of both Pavé Cycling Classics and Malteni Beer. He replied with his usual delicacy and the natural charm that I assume made him a good sprinter:
Tell her to fuck off. Was she born in the 50’s? For fuck’s sake. We haven’t called them gourdes since before the war when they were metal and were stopped up with corks. For fuck’s sake.
The only conclusion I can come to is that when the plastic bottle was introduced, some bright spark called it a bidon half as a pisstake and half as a way to distinguish this novelty from the traditional bar-mounted bottle. And we’ve been confusing the non-Cycling French population ever since.
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@chuckp
Fausto Coppi was Italian so I doubt he did call it a bidon.
What DO Italians call bidons??
@Oli
Based on Post #9 - tanica
@Mikael Liddy Yes, but there's little other option when at an airport
Krispy Kreme doughnuts are fantastic! I eat them once a decade or so. The stand alone shops don't last long so give it time. Their original business model involved people selling them as a fundraiser so it's difficult to support a larger infrastructure.
@Oli
I don't know, but the literal translation of bidon in Italian is latta, which means tin. Bottiglia d'acqua is the literal Italian translation of water bottle.
@KogaLover
You do realize that those aren't my bikes? It's a picture of Coppi's bikes I found on the web. If I'm not mistaken, they are in the La Madonna del Ghisallo.
@chuckp
OK, I asked a friend who is an old school cyclist and lives in SanRemo (about as Italian as it gets) what the Italian term for bidon is. It's borraccia.
@chuckp
Ahum... no, I did not. Guess just illustrates how much respect I have developed for you ;-) Still think you are a show off (blue bibshorts!!!! Your daughter knows better) and still envy you and it's still a bidon.
@chuckp
Correct.
@Pedale.Forchetta
Your dedication to the clean aesthetics by refusing to carry water is admirable. How often do you suffer from exposure on the ride?
Bel mezzo.