To Bidon Or Not To Bidon
This is serious, people. I hope you’re sitting down. Really. Sit down. Not a half sit. A real sit. Both cheeks. If you’re reading this on your phone, put the phone away and wait until you are sitting behind a computer like a civilized person.
Ready? Deep breath.
I have it on the excellent authority of my French friend Anne that that this is what a bidon looks like, not this.
I told you to sit down. My initial reaction was one of defiance and disbelief. I even suggested that I understood Le Langue du Peloton better than she does. In her infinite grace and my infinite obtuseness and ever-increasing volume, she almost conceded this as a possible explanation to this ground-rattling revelation.
There is something seriously fishy going on in this here petri dishy if what we as a collective of Cyclists – even those in France – have referred to as bidons are actually giant plastic jugs that are more commonly strapped to backs of Jeeps and motos than bicycles. Maybe we would take a bidon in the car to the start of a big ride, to fill up what we should probably be calling une gourde. Madness.
Cornered, I sought the advice of my good friend William, who represents one half of both Pavé Cycling Classics and Malteni Beer. He replied with his usual delicacy and the natural charm that I assume made him a good sprinter:
Tell her to fuck off. Was she born in the 50’s? For fuck’s sake. We haven’t called them gourdes since before the war when they were metal and were stopped up with corks. For fuck’s sake.
The only conclusion I can come to is that when the plastic bottle was introduced, some bright spark called it a bidon half as a pisstake and half as a way to distinguish this novelty from the traditional bar-mounted bottle. And we’ve been confusing the non-Cycling French population ever since.
@chuckp
Fausto Coppi was Italian so I doubt he did call it a bidon.
What DO Italians call bidons??
@Oli
Based on Post #9 – tanica
@Mikael Liddy Yes, but there’s little other option when at an airport
Krispy Kreme doughnuts are fantastic! I eat them once a decade or so. The stand alone shops don’t last long so give it time. Their original business model involved people selling them as a fundraiser so it’s difficult to support a larger infrastructure.
@Oli
I don’t know, but the literal translation of bidon in Italian is latta, which means tin. Bottiglia d’acqua is the literal Italian translation of water bottle.
@KogaLover
You do realize that those aren’t my bikes? It’s a picture of Coppi’s bikes I found on the web. If I’m not mistaken, they are in the La Madonna del Ghisallo.
@chuckp
OK, I asked a friend who is an old school cyclist and lives in SanRemo (about as Italian as it gets) what the Italian term for bidon is. It’s borraccia.
@chuckp
Ahum… no, I did not. Guess just illustrates how much respect I have developed for you ;-) Still think you are a show off (blue bibshorts!!!! Your daughter knows better) and still envy you and it’s still a bidon.
@chuckp
Correct.
@Pedale.Forchetta
Your dedication to the clean aesthetics by refusing to carry water is admirable. How often do you suffer from exposure on the ride?
Bel mezzo.
@LawnCzar
I love all of this. Spot on. I do use the words as a litmus test to see whether someone understands; I don’t wait to find out if they understand before using them. If they are confused, I explain myself and depending on the level of confusion, I will either then continue using the word assuming they now understand it, or will stop.
@Ccos
Does not compute; I never go to Starbucks unless I’m travelling in a savage land where there are no better cafés available. I always just say, “in your smallest cup” if I’m taking it to go, and “in a civilized cup” if I’m having it there. A civilized cup is, of course, made of porcelain.
@DavyMuur
The Dutch operate on this premise, except when it comes to the Dutch language, of course. But they assume they understand and speak every other language better than the natives. Its very convenient.
@frank
Whist a civilised cup is definitely made of porcelain. I fear you are confusing porcelain for white pottery (at best bone china) in respect of what said coffee will actually arrive in.
@Teocalli
This is porcelain.
@frank
Ciao! This winter I tried successfully to ride for 110 km wit no water or food, but to tell the truth I always carry a borraccia in the middle pocket of the jersey!
Here in Italy the most iconic photo of Coppi and Bartali, that everyone know and love, is this one…
@chuckp
This is porcelain
This isn’t
Your confusion is understandable though as these are pants
@chuckp
Also why do you have those in the bathroom but no bath?
@Pedale.Forchetta
Surely you mean this one?
Lordy, Paris-Nice, Tirreno-Adriatico and the Spring classics can’t come soon enough, can they? Pictures of toilets, underpants and discussions about Starbucks. Yes folks, it’s the middle of January here in Velominati-land.
Let’s discuss Bartali’s headgear in that picture above. A bandana gone wrong? Focus, people, focus!
@chuckp
Well the sum bitches serve expresso in little paper cups anyway and always seem put off by it. It does touch porcelain at some point as illustrated above, after the caffeine has been fully extracted.
Well to add to the original thread: my French buddies were pronouncing peloton without saying the e, more akin to platoon. Should I suggest speech therapy or are they right?
@wiscot
You will never know the zenith unless you know the trough.
Let us get low before we rise with the Classics and soar with the Giro!
aww, come on guy’s didn’t you watch Caleb Ewan out sprint every other sprinters lead out man at TDU?
@frank
Hey, cheers.
That’s a fair point — there are times when a moment of incomprehension is replaced with a deeper understanding.
While people are posting photos of tea cups, here’s a little number in “fine bone china” that I got for Christmas. I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t make me smile each morning.
@piwakawaka
Oh, err, oh yeah! The Training Down Under. Can’t take my eyes off it.
@piwakawaka
Unfortunately, in this hemisphere the TDU is only available on a particular sports chanel belonging to a certain Rupert Murdoch.
Boo-urns
@DavyMuur
steephill.tv will give you all you might want. Maybe not live, but video, pixs etc. This site should be bookmarked by all velominati.
@wiscot
Cheers for that. Liking the old school format of that site. Although, for me, there is no substitute for watching live cycling on an actual television.
@wiscot
First couple of stages have been reasonably tame, shit gets a little more real today with the first likely GC shake up over Corkscrew Rd. Last time they used this stage finish, Good Cadelephant gave a free lesson in Sur la Plaque climbing followed by balls out descending.
As an aside, I’ll be heading to a dinner with the great man as guest speaker this evening…hopefully no dogs will be harmed over the course of the night!
@Mikael Liddy
Say hi for us!
@wiscot
Point taken, but given it’s our only exposure to a world tour event so close to my doorstep, Im claiming it as a Tour and not just a training ride.
@brett
@brett Richie says G’day also (insert sarcastic smiley face etc etc )
@PeakInTwoYears
My bust there! And probably best I don’t use words I cannot spell correctly. Something tells me I’d probably pronounce it wrong also.
@Mikael Liddy
And sadly Phil still calling winners from bunch sprints that aren’t actually winners. Maybe there’s a gig for him on next years Miss Universe comp.
@Barracuda
I fuckin’ love the TDU!
@piwakawaka come over next year, the tour group I led around last year is generally around 50% kiwi, despite that they were still reasonable people.
@Mikael Liddy
How did you deal with the language barrier ?
@Mikael Liddy
Ha! As it happens my niece gets married in Radilaid early October, she was none too impressed when I asked why she was dragging me over when there was no major event on!!
If I make it, there will be a bike, and hopefully temperatures that you can’t cook food in!
@piwakawaka
This could mean a meeting of velominati at next years event. Im planning on having annual leave. Make it happen
@piwakawaka
if you don’t feel like leaving your bike to the mercy of the baggage handlers, this is another option – http://www.velo-porte.com/
Someone posted on FB. These are bidons.
@Mikael Liddy
thanks for the link but leave my baby behind? Crazy talk!
@LawnCzar
Oh MAN! I needs me one of those mugs and that AMAZING Le Blaireau print on the wall. Where the HELL did you get that???
@Buck Rogers
Heh — that’s a printout of a photo I found on Google. For a recent work retreat, we were supposed to send in a photo of something that we found inspiring and this was what I picked. I brought it home and taped it up next to my desk afterward. No sense letting it go to waste!
@LawnCzar
A Rouleur mug. Beautiful. I want this one. But with the exchange rate, I have hard time justifying spending 19 pounds (plus postage) for it. I need to be like you and find someone to give to me as a Christmas (or birthday) present.
@chuckp
Tea does taste particularly good out of bone china…
@LawnCzar
Great stuff! Well done! I have been looking for a print of that scene for sale online and have not found one yet. I’ll keep looking as I do not have a good quality printer available to me at the moment.
@chris
I drink tea every now and again, but not regularly. Mostly I just drink the “hard” stuff, i.e., espresso.
@chris
I need these. http://cyclingsouvenirs.com/cycling-gifts/retro-cycling-team-espresso-cup-saucer/
@chris
Excellent choices, gentlemen.
Yeah, the shipping to the States definitely made this one for the Christmas list. Luckily, my sister in law likes a) good design and b) bikes.
Now, I just need someone to take a similar attitude to those Moments prints…