Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: Badgers Are As Badgers Do

Communication at its most fundemental

I’m not particularly fond of this photo, but it certainly tells you a thing or two about Le Blaireau. A man more comfortable speaking with his appendages than with words, he was patron of the last peloton that truly represented the working class sport that cycling originally was; one where riders escaped a tough life of manual labor and meager means by pursuing life on the bicycle (one of tough labor and meager means). The hardest man of a generation of hard men, the Badger was as cuddly as a fistful of rusty nails.

By my last count, there are more images on The Googles – both old and new – of Hinault assaulting people than there are of him riding a bike. A fiercely proud man, he once threw a young Phil Anderson’s bidon to the roadside after Phil deigned to offer it to him in a sporting gesture. In his first grand tour of his career, he lead a rider’s protest because they felt mistreated. A few years later, at the 1984 Paris-Nice, he beat up a guy (pictured) for leading a protest by shipyard workers who felt mistreated. He’s been tackling people ever since.

He was also, as most champions are, fiercely competitive. As team leader, he forced LeMan to wait for him in 1985 when he faltered and his young American teammate was up the road in the winning break, threatening to take the race lead.  In return, he promised to work for Greg the following year. Then, in the 1986 Tour, when it suddenly appeared he might be strong enough to win for a record sixth time, he promised to work for LeMond so long as he beat him first. Not exactly a man of his word, then.

So here’s to Bernard Hinault, a fucking asshole. But an awesome asshole. And, while not pretty, lets remember that assholes perform a vital function.

 

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @Souleur

    not advised by any measure, and thats the only time I have done it, but some dumb assholes like me need a good scrap once in a while and at this pace I'll be ready for another when i am 80, otherwise if you nice like most its best to just ride on and let by-gones be by-gones.

    I commend you on your nerve and willingness to fight someone while dressed in spandex and wearing cleats, but I would be terrified of getting murdered. Even though Seattle is a pretty passive place, all you need is one nut with a gun. And, there's not enough Rule 5 in the world to cure a gunshot wound to the cranium. But obviously I'm over-thinking this.

    Great story!

  • @frank

    Why did you put a sheet of paper over the book? Didn't want to reveal your plans to take over the world that you jotted into the margins?

    (Ahem.) Why, whatever are you talking about, Frank? I've no plans to take over the world. What gave you that impression?

    (Shit. Commander Zog. Come in, Commander Zog! Returning to home planet. Plans discovered...by some fucking Dutchman.)

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro
    So true re: the cops response. I suspect that would be the response from 90% of the law enforcement in the US. Still being on the right side of forty my hormones can get the better of me, I usually respond as Souleur did with the appropriate salute.

  • @pakrat
    When I was in college and bulletproof, I used to salute a lot as well. Then, one day in Pflugerville, TX, I lived out a nightmare with a dump truck. I didn't even give this guy a salute. I was just riding along a narrow farm-to-market road with no one else around but me and the dump truck coming up from behind. First he nudged me into the bar ditch (which I think I handled very Paris-Roubaix like). Then he stopped and turned the truck around. I got back on the road, turned around, and rode the fastest pursuit of my life back to a convenience store I'd just passed about a kilometer back. Thank Merckx it takes a while to get a dump truck up to speed. I stayed on my bike at the front of the store which was at the rear of a deep parking lot. I didn't unclip. I thought I had a better shot at staying alive if I stayed on my bike, as long as the driver didn't get out of the dump truck. He didn't. Instead, he turned his truck around in the parking lot and went back to wherever he was going. Since then, I don't yell, I don't salute, and I am super friendly. And I pretty much quit riding a bike for about 17 years because of that one day.

  • Every sport needs it's enforcers. The fact that he continues the role as an honored dignitary is even better. The guy in Badger's clutches probably violated Rule V one time too many (or just one time). I am sure somebody has already pointed out an adolescent Bob Roll in the background right, however, note Frankie Carbone from Goodfellas mid-ground right. Supposedly found hanging in a meat truck some 10 years earlier.

    I cannot help but surmise that this photo implicates both Hinault and Bobke in the Lufthansa heist.

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Man. Hearing stories like that make me feel almost spoiled to live in Portland. I've had a few assholes buzz me, and had a lady that wasn't paying attention run into my rear wheel, but that's it. I have more problems with all the assholes on bikes that can't ride predictably than I do with vehicles.

    But as a matter of course I really don't flip people off or do anything like that, it's not worth it to feel better for a split second and then have to worry about some asshole in a 3,000 lb car trying to run me down. I'll yell to grab attention if some nitwit is edging into an intersection and not paying attention or something. But for the most part things here in Portland are pretty mellow.

  • @mcsqueak
    I hear Italy is a great place to live and ride a bike. Very bike friendly. If any Velominati want to put me up in a nice villa, say, somewhere around Lake Como, like, for the rest of my life, and pick up the tab, I could be persuaded.

  • @ - a whole lot of ya! Tons of great wisdom here. No matter how badly you want to give the salute or get it on with someone in an automobile it is ALWAYS better to let it go. Sure, give a yell to let someone know, but don't bother trying to fight a losing battle.

    @ Frank - I look forward to this article. The idea of self-motivation vs. external humiliation as a driving force in one's life, whether in cycling or beyond is indeed worthy of some analysis and thought. Damn, this idea of self-improvement might be exactly why I have fallen in love with cycling. I played the same sport every day from the age of 8-22. By the end I felt deceived and ruined, mainly due to a bad collegiate coach. I haven't touched the sport since I left it.

    In the meantime I've become a serious Velominatus. I rarely pin a number on but I ride daily and try to pursue The V. I ride hard and my passion is to see how far I can go and how fast. That is it. Cycling is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I consider when I hit the lights. (sure, some other things are important, but cycling is my passion).

    Awesomeness. I ride to pursue my own personal V.

    @ Pedale - woah, I'm going to read that over a few more times. Not only can you pull water out of the air, but you just summed up what has gone through my head the past eight years as I turned the cranks. Why am I doing this?

    For me training and racing it's about learning about your mental, spiritual and physical self and to train all these 3 aspects to be in harmony.

    A Merckx to that!

  • @ Jeff, man I think we all felt bullet proof in college. Phew, a bunch of things I did in my younger days when out cycling and dealing with aggressive drivers are things I would definitely not do these days. It is very, very satisfying to fuck with a stupid driver but yes, pretty much not worth it at this stage for me. If it was just a playground fight like in school, sure, but so many people come unhinged when you challenge their m
    manhood with a solo salute.

    Glad many of us have moved on. Amongst many things it seems as if cycling on roads with autos teaches all of us to be cool man, be cool.

  • @Marcus
    Not just the jersey, but caps, a wool beanie and the whole kit. This might cost me more than I bargained for! Thanks, I think.

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