Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: Badgers Are As Badgers Do

Communication at its most fundemental

I’m not particularly fond of this photo, but it certainly tells you a thing or two about Le Blaireau. A man more comfortable speaking with his appendages than with words, he was patron of the last peloton that truly represented the working class sport that cycling originally was; one where riders escaped a tough life of manual labor and meager means by pursuing life on the bicycle (one of tough labor and meager means). The hardest man of a generation of hard men, the Badger was as cuddly as a fistful of rusty nails.

By my last count, there are more images on The Googles – both old and new – of Hinault assaulting people than there are of him riding a bike. A fiercely proud man, he once threw a young Phil Anderson’s bidon to the roadside after Phil deigned to offer it to him in a sporting gesture. In his first grand tour of his career, he lead a rider’s protest because they felt mistreated. A few years later, at the 1984 Paris-Nice, he beat up a guy (pictured) for leading a protest by shipyard workers who felt mistreated. He’s been tackling people ever since.

He was also, as most champions are, fiercely competitive. As team leader, he forced LeMan to wait for him in 1985 when he faltered and his young American teammate was up the road in the winning break, threatening to take the race lead.  In return, he promised to work for Greg the following year. Then, in the 1986 Tour, when it suddenly appeared he might be strong enough to win for a record sixth time, he promised to work for LeMond so long as he beat him first. Not exactly a man of his word, then.

So here’s to Bernard Hinault, a fucking asshole. But an awesome asshole. And, while not pretty, lets remember that assholes perform a vital function.

 

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Ron
    Age and experience give us wisdom (or wrinkles--can't really remember but I know the word starts with a "w").

    I also think times have changed. There weren't as many drivers. SUV's weren't as pervasive when I raced in the 80's. And I don't think there were as many cyclists. It's a witch's brew that boils over a bit more than it used to.

    Cyclists may stand a chance if gas goes to $4.00+ a gallon (in the U.S.) and stays there. People will move closer to their jobs, buy smaller cars, and some will even ride bikes to work. I know. When pigs fly. But it could happen.

  • @Ron

    Indeed, I'd rather live to ride another day than "one up" someone in a road-based pissing match. They are the one with the sad life in many respects - ready to blow their top at the slightest insult, real or perceived, driving around all hopped up and ready to blow up. On the other hand, I'm the one out enjoying my favorite pass time! Not hard to spot who the real winner is in that equation.

    That being said, brawling with a bunch of wankers blocking your race route is pretty bad-ass. I'm young, but it seems to me two guys use to be able to be mad at each other, duke it out, shake hands, and be on their way (such as Souleur stated above). Now, it seems like everyone is getting shot, ran over, sued, or otherwise made miserable, and no one can settle their own shit any more.

  • I am, by nature, on the aggressive side. (Surprising for a lawyer, I know, but there it is.) This might be fine if I was either heavily muscled or heavily armed. But I am neither. So the tendency to salute idiots I encounter has, on occasion, served to inflame situations, to no-one's advantage. On the other hand, doing nothing in the face of provocation from a moron, is sometimes bloody difficult. So, on those occasions when my arm has already shot up instinctively and my fingers are on the way to forming the salute, I have trained my brain to intercept the message and turn the salute into either a finger wag (as in "you're a jolly naughty little boy, wiggins") or a wave - at the same time making it clear that my face does not contort into a snarl. To date, this strategy has not resulted in any situational inflammmation - and, frequently, has resulted in a friendly acknowledgment from the driver.

  • @Jeff in PetroMetro

    Jeff in PetroMetro:
    Cyclists may stand a chance if gas goes to $4.00+ a gallon (in the U.S.) and stays there. People will move closer to their jobs, buy smaller cars, and some will even ride bikes to work. I know. When pigs fly. But it could happen.

    I try to convince people that gasoline should be a fixed price in the U.S., somewhere around $5.00-7.00 a gallon (perhaps increasing with inflation + a bit. The cost difference between market value and fixed value is all tax going DIRECTLY into infrastructure improvements with the stipulation that these particular funds cannot build new roads, only maintenance + public transit systems. The only way to make our backwards society change is to punch people in the face...hard! There is, however, too much corruption in the government and too much cowardice/ignorance/egocentrism in the populace to make this work. If you can't tell, I fear for my country.

  • Like many of us I'm looking forward for THAT article Frank.
    And as Ron says we have to be cool, be cool in those situations!

  • @Marcus

    Ha, that is great. I love stories like that, especially when they are well written.

    Oh, and that model they have in the Merckx gallery? Wowzers.

    @Collin

    As long as gas is cheap people will be dumb (I see see people talking about wanting 500 HP cars... really?). Though, on the other end of the spectrum would be what $7.00 gas would do to an economy that is calibrated for gas that costs $1.00-$3.00 per gallon. I imagine the results would not be good. Plus as you state, there is too much corruption. Look at the mess they have made out of social security - pretty simple, right? A bunch of people pay in, and a smaller group gets paid out. It all works until a bit of the money for it is needed over here, then a bit over there, and soon the whole thing is all fucked up. God I hate politics.

    I live in a transit friendly city, but sometimes using it is a royal PITA unless you are going downtown. To get from where I live to where I work, a distance of about 15 miles, took me 2 hours the other week. Driving takes me 20 minutes. Cycling is a little over an hour. $7.00 a gallon gas would certainly help put in more light rail lines, that's for sure...

  • The answer isn't more expensive gas... It's cheaper gas, becausenobody needs it. We need more, cheaper, alternative energy (cough "nuclear, wind, solar, tidal" cough) and development policies that create human scale environments; denser, smaller, lower speed roads, etc., etc. Expensive gas just hurts those who can't afford it. Top down price controls don't work. Never have, never will. Enforced/artificial scarcity doesn't work. Never has, never will. And no, I'm not particularly interested in an Interwebs debate on this, so I will let it rest after this.

    Ciao, amici.

Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago