Anatomy of a Photo: Badgers Are As Badgers Do

Communication at its most fundemental

I’m not particularly fond of this photo, but it certainly tells you a thing or two about Le Blaireau. A man more comfortable speaking with his appendages than with words, he was patron of the last peloton that truly represented the working class sport that cycling originally was; one where riders escaped a tough life of manual labor and meager means by pursuing life on the bicycle (one of tough labor and meager means). The hardest man of a generation of hard men, the Badger was as cuddly as a fistful of rusty nails.

By my last count, there are more images on The Googles – both old and new – of Hinault assaulting people than there are of him riding a bike. A fiercely proud man, he once threw a young Phil Anderson’s bidon to the roadside after Phil deigned to offer it to him in a sporting gesture. In his first grand tour of his career, he lead a rider’s protest because they felt mistreated. A few years later, at the 1984 Paris-Nice, he beat up a guy (pictured) for leading a protest by shipyard workers who felt mistreated. He’s been tackling people ever since.

He was also, as most champions are, fiercely competitive. As team leader, he forced LeMan to wait for him in 1985 when he faltered and his young American teammate was up the road in the winning break, threatening to take the race lead. In return, he promised to work for Greg the following year. Then, in the 1986 Tour, when it suddenly appeared he might be strong enough to win for a record sixth time, he promised to work for LeMond so long as he beat him first. Not exactly a man of his word, then.

So here’s to Bernard Hinault, a fucking asshole. But an awesome asshole. And, while not pretty, lets remember that assholes perform a vital function.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Mar 8 2011 at 9:10 pm

@sgt
I'm with you on keeping our economics discussion brief. It gets too close to religion and politics. As Velominati, our religion is based around the V. As far as politics, I cast my vote for whichever one of you makes me laugh so hard I blow espresso out of my nose and onto my keyboard.

So, lettus reeturn to speeeking Franglish, d'accord? Eet ees tres amusant. I mean heelaireeus.
sgt says:

Mar 8 2011 at 9:30 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro
D'accord.
sgt says:

Mar 8 2011 at 9:34 pm

Besides, eet appears to moi zat zee Badger eez tres similair au Monsieur Sheen.

Duh... Weening!
Oli Brooke-White says:

Mar 8 2011 at 11:57 pm

I do miss the days of PITFT - they were good times... :-(
Collin says:

Mar 9 2011 at 9:16 am

@Jeff in PetroMetro

@sgt

Certainly. Screaming about political views on the Internet is like plucking leg hairs out one by one, it's pointless and painful.

Anyhow, Le Blaireau a #la sangre du tigre? Oui?
mcsqueak says:

Mar 9 2011 at 2:06 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro

@sgt

Yes, the nice thing about this site is that it usually doesn't dissolve into those crappy topics, A-Merckx to that. Carry on!
sgt says:

Mar 9 2011 at 2:25 pm

@mcsqueak
Don't mind if I do....

FYI, and in keeping with the theme of bad French (linguistically and behaviorally), has anybody grokked this little gem of a story about one of my favorite Frenchies, little Tommy V? I particularly enjoyed the bit about his training regimen...

His idea of scientific training is to look which way the wind blows. Yes, he actually leaves home in search of a headwind, so the return leg of his training ride has a tailwind. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't slack on the bike but the ideas of sports science, heart rates and power measurements are not his thing.

Tres bien! Chapeau to le maillot tricolore!
Collin says:

Mar 9 2011 at 3:14 pm

@sgt
I love it. In the flatlands of the midwest, a good strong headwind is the closest thing we can get to a climb. Fortunately, we can get some really ripping winds coming off the Great Lakes. Put your head down and suffer. Beautiful.
minion says:

Mar 9 2011 at 5:51 pm

To dredge the mantras back up, there have been 2 that for some reason or other have stuck with me, one is thinking of myself as being 'water around a rock' in realtion to riding through traffic. Not only is it a calming little thing to think about whiel riding through tight conditions, it stops you throwing your bike around like an a hole, and if someone does want to start an altercation, they're behind you by the time its a problem - just keep on flowing.
The other one was something a world champion surfer, Tom Carroll used to say to himself in heats, it was the 3 Ps - power, precision, perfection.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Mar 9 2011 at 6:14 pm

@sgt
Voeckler--having watched a couple of stages of P-N this week, I've taken a shine to Voeckler. He's starting to come a distant second to JENS in my book. Kinda nutty in his attacks (powered a good escape yesterday as well as a long winning break today). Doesn't listen to his DS. Wears his national kit. Shows his emotions in the winning photo from today. Trains by feel. I'm gonna cheer for him a little louder this year.