Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: Awkward Adolescence

Evolution is a slow, gradual process, punctuated by sudden change. For the first 80 years of our sport, riders rode contra la montre on their regular road bikes. For certain, the bikes were carefully cleaned and tuned to remove all possible resistance, but these were their standard, daily machines. Then, in a span of barely ten years came the skin suit, aero helmet, and the coolest time trial innovation ever, the cow horn handlebars. Then it was on to aero bars, and since that innovation, we've been back to gradual change, thanks in large part to the UCI declaring creative thought to be against regulation and banning all but the most conventional bicycle designs.

For a time, however, it was as though Pandora's Box had been cracked open, and from it sprung countless innovations that would change our sport for ever. Some were good, some where bad, some were altogether too much, but all of it was exciting and all of it was cool in its own right. It was a thrilling time for cycling.

We did, however, enter a very awkward adolescence as the Pro Road Racing scene struggled to adopt the aerobars which had permeated the Triathlon world. The challenge was, of course, to integrate a handlebar made popular by men and women wearing Speedos and doodle on themselves in an appropriately sophisticated European manner. But things were to get worse before they got better; in the span of a single season, Sean Yates went from doing the one-eye V-Squint to wrestling with the Scott Noodles of Death. Even the ever-classy Johan Museeuw couldn't manage to make a graceful transition.

We figured it out eventually, but it wasn't exactly a painless process. For your review, I've collected a handful of examples from the progression.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Aero Bars/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Gianni says:

Oct 12 2011 at 1:47 pm

@scaler911

Softride. I actually have a buddy that got a free one for getting Softride tattooed on his leg in the 90"²s. I'm sure he's regretting that now.

Damn, that's the funniest thing I'll hear this month. Poor bastard, that's a hard one to live down.

The Waterford frame builder must have been shaking his head the whole time he was soldering it up, "serenity now, serenity now, it's paying the bills" That is a most terrible abortion of a bike.
Gianni says:

Oct 12 2011 at 1:51 pm

@Pedale.Forchetta
Grazie, that fine photo helps to remove the bitter taste of the 'softride' frames I just looked at.
James says:

Oct 12 2011 at 1:52 pm

@Chris
That GT Superbike was designed for track events at the '96 Olympics in Atlanta, and I don't believe it ever saw the street. Anyhow, the Swiss quickly banned it for being too fast and too ugly. :)
sgt says:

Oct 12 2011 at 2:03 pm

@scaler911
I hate to admit it, but I had one of these in 1994... I had a mullet too, come to think of it. Good times...
mrhallorann says:

Oct 12 2011 at 2:41 pm

"...made popular by men and women wearing Speedos and doodle on themselves..."

*sobs quietly*
wiscot says:

Oct 12 2011 at 2:57 pm

@frank
Frank, Kinda cool. Not fully cool, just kinda. And it's being ridden by a doper so I guess it an appropriate pairing. At least they got the color right.
Routier says:

Oct 12 2011 at 3:19 pm

Hi, I'm new here *waves*

I, along with I'm sure many other perusers of this fine website, would love to read an article about the God Of The Road that is S Yates. This true Hardman epitomises everything that we mere mortals aspire to be: incomprehensibly fast, a demon descender, and feared by every member of the peloton, all while managing to be effortlessly stylish both on and off the bike.

frank, sir, I beg of you.
Gianni says:

Oct 12 2011 at 3:34 pm

@Routier

Yates 2011...dinna fuck with him!
King Clydesdale says:

Oct 12 2011 at 3:53 pm

My favorite modern TT photo:
frank says:

Oct 12 2011 at 4:49 pm

@scaler911
My dad has four - count them, FOUR - softrides. Two mountain bikes and two road. They're actuall not bad for mountainbiking; you develop an incredible stroke because if you don't pedal round, you'll bounce. And the descend like a set of downhill skis; you can load it as you corner so it carves like a ski.

Oh, and yes: they are a total abomination of all good taste and sensibility.