Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: Awkward Adolescence


Evolution is a slow, gradual process, punctuated by sudden change. For the first 80 years of our sport, riders rode contra la montre on their regular road bikes. For certain, the bikes were carefully cleaned and tuned to remove all possible resistance, but these were their standard, daily machines. Then, in a span of barely ten years came the skin suit, aero helmet, and the coolest time trial innovation ever, the cow horn handlebars. Then it was on to aero bars, and since that innovation, we've been back to gradual change, thanks in large part to the UCI declaring creative thought to be against regulation and banning all but the most conventional bicycle designs.

For a time, however, it was as though Pandora's Box had been cracked open, and from it sprung countless innovations that would change our sport for ever. Some were good, some where bad, some were altogether too much, but all of it was exciting and all of it was cool in its own right. It was a thrilling time for cycling.

We did, however, enter a very awkward adolescence as the Pro Road Racing scene struggled to adopt the aerobars which had permeated the Triathlon world. The challenge was, of course, to integrate a handlebar made popular by men and women wearing Speedos and doodle on themselves in an appropriately sophisticated European manner. But things were to get worse before they got better; in the span of a single season, Sean Yates went from doing the one-eye V-Squint to wrestling with the Scott Noodles of Death. Even the ever-classy Johan Museeuw couldn't manage to make a graceful transition.

We figured it out eventually, but it wasn't exactly a painless process. For your review, I've collected a handful of examples from the progression.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Aero Bars/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Softride. I actually have a buddy that got a free one for getting Softride tattooed on his leg in the 90's. I'm sure he's regretting that now.

  • Hey, I have a set of those Death Noodle bars! :) The future was 1996... and then the UCI ruined everyone's fun.

  • @Nate

    @scaler911
    What an abomination. With a triple chainring. And no nipple lube on the spinergys. The horror.

    Ya, when those things (notice I called em things, not bikes) came out and people started riding them, I just smiled and shook me head. I've always thought, since even before this site, or Al Gore invented the internet, that bikes were supposed to look a certain way. Those ain't it.

  • @scaler911
    Come clean. That hipster fixie must be yours. "Your Friend" with the tattoo? Can't hide your dirty, dirty secrets round here for long.

  • @Minion

    @scaler911
    Come clean. That hipster fixie must be yours. "Your Friend" with the tattoo? Can't hide your dirty, dirty secrets round here for long.

    Sure. Im a hipster from way back. But, if I am the one with the poorly thought out tat, you can bet Sir Frank will be posting a photo of it after the Cogal.

  • There's something about that black Lotus that's strangely compelling. The GT, on the other hand, with it's unisex step through design looks like an early prototype of the Boris Bike from when the designer only hear the "we want something that will get the commuter around town quickly" and didn't hear "that will also have benign handling, be robust and cheap to produce"

  • Imagine showing up at a group ride with that purple Waterford spinergy triple combo contraption. If you pair that with some vintage big oakleys, old giro helmet and some garish kit, would have people chomping at the bit to crush you.

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