Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: Denim Shorts

The Rules, of course, are a sort of reference guide for those of us who may need a little bit of help making sure we act and look Fantastic at all times, whether on or near the bike. However much they are steeped in the history of our sport, they are by their very nature incomplete and always evolving, subject to the continuous development of the sport. They are also greatly influenced by the little things the Pros do, mostly because they invariably look better than any of us and, due to the immense number of hours they spend on the bicycle, have figured a thing or two out that we can learn from without having to interrupt our beer drinking or stop critiquing them from the comfort of our sofas.

However influential the Pros may be in determining The Rules, their actions are still subject to Good Taste, and should they violate that ever-important element, their actions will never find their way into the cannon. Conversely, they may also – through the sheer volume of the V they are able to channel – transcend The Rules and venture into Velomitopia despite any garish choice of aesthetics they may choose. Il Pirata’s bandana comes to mind, as does Gilbert’s up-flipped cap; if we are to try such things ourselves, we would be damned to an eternity of indoor windtrainer intervals.

Which brings me to the subject of the Carrera Jeans bibshorts. Taken out of context, these are perhaps the worst idea anyone has ever had since putting an ejector seat in a helicopter with no detachable rotors. But put in the context of Il Diablo and his 232 km escape to Sestriere, those fake denim bibs are, in my mind, some of the coolest bits of cycling kit ever created. Rule Violation? Absolutely. Looked all kinds of Awesome on Chiappucci? Fuck yeah. Horrible helmet notwithstanding.

You just won’t be seeing me sporting a pair, is all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

scaler911 says:

Aug 29 2011 at 7:43 pm

@brett
No, I watched that stage (and again now). I'm not saying that the man isn't a absolute master at just fucking crushing anything in his path. His Vo2 max, his resting HR, his ability to recover after going uphill with itty bitty folk (esp at his size) are legendary. Just not my guy. No offense to you, Oli or anyone else.
brett says:

Aug 29 2011 at 10:47 pm

@scaler911
Absolutely none taken mate... c'mon, not even Cam offends me, and he said I wear nappies.
Oli says:

Aug 30 2011 at 12:17 am

I'm not offended in the least, but someone has to stick up for the poor guy!
ChrisO says:

Aug 30 2011 at 1:16 am

The first two minutes of that clip are the most awesome. Where one by one they try to stick to his wheel and then just pull away and say "Nope, I'm f*cked, you have a go."
Until finally there's just nobody left. And he never even gets out of the saddle.

I did like Indurain - he was my introduction to pro-cycling. It was during his era that I first got into watching the Tour, mainly because I had moved to the UK from Australia in 1993, and it just hadn't been viewable in Oz.

It's one of the things I dislike Bjarne Riis for - ending Indurain's run when he was cheating. Having said that, Banesto and Once were not renowned for being ultra-clean so I don't have too many illusions about it.
Forza says:

Dec 5 2013 at 4:06 pm

I'm kinda new on these posts, so maybe you already discussed funky kits of years past.

But anyone remember Laurent Fignon or Bjarne Riis when they rode for Castorama? Somebody thought it was a good idea to make their team kits look just like their French painting company employees uniforms. OMG that was horrible!
Dan_R says:

Dec 5 2013 at 4:29 pm

@Forza

I'm kinda new on these posts, so maybe you already discussed funky kits of years past.

But anyone remember Laurent Fignon or Bjarne Riis when they rode for Castorama? Somebody thought it was a good idea to make their team kits look just like their French painting company employees uniforms. OMG that was horrible!

Castorama loved them - always good for the sponsors. And they stood out, as they were meant to and designed to by Fignon himself. For that alone, I love them.
wiscot says:

Dec 6 2013 at 5:24 am

@Forza

I'm kinda new on these posts, so maybe you already discussed funky kits of years past.

But anyone remember Laurent Fignon or Bjarne Riis when they rode for Castorama? Somebody thought it was a good idea to make their team kits look just like their French painting company employees uniforms. OMG that was horrible!

Forza,, Yup, plenty of discussion on good and bad kits on past posts. The Castorama fell into the bad kit category I'm afraid. Not even the awesomeness of Fignon can avoid that.