Categories: Anatomy of a Photo

Anatomy of a Photo: Denim Shorts

The Rules, of course, are a sort of reference guide for those of us who may need a little bit of help making sure we act and look Fantastic at all times, whether on or near the bike. However much they are steeped in the history of our sport, they are by their very nature incomplete and always evolving, subject to the continuous development of the sport. They are also greatly influenced by the little things the Pros do, mostly because they invariably look better than any of us and, due to the immense number of hours they spend on the bicycle, have figured a thing or two out that we can learn from without having to interrupt our beer drinking or stop critiquing them from the comfort of our sofas.

However influential the Pros may be in determining The Rules, their actions are still subject to Good Taste, and should they violate that ever-important element, their actions will never find their way into the cannon. Conversely, they may also – through the sheer volume of the V they are able to channel – transcend The Rules and venture into Velomitopia despite any garish choice of aesthetics they may choose. Il Pirata’s bandana comes to mind, as does Gilbert’s up-flipped cap; if we are to try such things ourselves, we would be damned to an eternity of indoor windtrainer intervals.

Which brings me to the subject of the Carrera Jeans bibshorts. Taken out of context, these are perhaps the worst idea anyone has ever had since putting an ejector seat in a helicopter with no detachable rotors. But put in the context of Il Diablo and his 232 km escape to Sestriere, those fake denim bibs are, in my mind, some of the coolest bits of cycling kit ever created. Rule Violation? Absolutely. Looked all kinds of Awesome on Chiappucci? Fuck yeah. Horrible helmet notwithstanding.

You just won’t be seeing me sporting a pair, is all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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fasthair says:

Aug 29 2011 at 3:06 pm

@frank @brett
Another thing that sticks out is that silly little grin he has on his face while the two behind him have a dazed and confused look. Kind of reminds me a the photo here of Cyclops racing with the same smile and reactions from the all-so-rans' following.

fasthair
mouse says:

Aug 29 2011 at 3:19 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro
@frank
@minion
@scaler911
It seems my "Shock and Awe" campaign though ultimately successful in enabling @Ron to see the error of his ways was viewed as being unsavoury to the rest of the population.
I'm sure there's a greater lesson in there somewhere, but I can't be fucked paying attention long enough to work out what it is.
@frank, I pledge not to post any more fat people in body paint (unless it's really, really funny).
scaler911 says:

Aug 29 2011 at 3:22 pm

@mouse

@Jeff in PetroMetro
@frank
@minion
@scaler911
It seems my "Shock and Awe" campaign though ultimately successful in enabling @Ron to see the error of his ways was viewed as being unsavoury to the rest of the population.
I'm sure there's a greater lesson in there somewhere, but I can't be fucked paying attention long enough to work out what it is.
@frank, I pledge not to post any more fat people in body paint (unless it's really, really funny).

What I'm wondering (not much mind you), is WTF you type into Google to find a photog like that.
minion says:

Aug 29 2011 at 3:37 pm

@scaler911
Page six of the family album, I thought... cards to send to grandma?
Oli says:

Aug 29 2011 at 3:41 pm

@fasthair
It's not a silly grin, it's a rictus of pain. He wore that a lot as he kept pace on the steepest climbs with the best climbers of the day, despite giving away 10-20kg to them.

Indurain may not have been flashy but he was as solid as a rock and his Tour wins were crafted out of a legendary ability to eke the most from his huge engine and his sheer guts.

AÃºpa, Indurain!
mouse says:

Aug 29 2011 at 4:18 pm

@minion

@scaler911
Page six of the family album, I thought... cards to send to grandma?

Good one.
Rest assured, you don't go searching for an image like that. It finds you.
harminator says:

Aug 29 2011 at 5:23 pm

@Oli

it's a rictus of pain.

Great expression. We inhale wasps. Pros display a rictus of pain...
Zoncolan says:

Aug 29 2011 at 6:56 pm

@Oli

@fasthairIt's not a silly grin, it's a rictus of pain. He wore that a lot as he kept pace on the steepest climbs with the best climbers of the day, despite giving away 10-20kg to them.
Indurain may not have been flashy but he was as solid as a rock and his Tour wins were crafted out of a legendary ability to eke the most from his huge engine and his sheer guts.
AÃºpa, Indurain!

+1

Big Mig did wonders for the dreams of us Big Fellas. Power and then more power, all the while giving nothing away...
brett says:

Aug 29 2011 at 6:57 pm

@scaler911

@Nate

@brettI was more drawn to the Delta brakes, but the cap is of course correct. Funny how Mig keeps lurking in the background of a lot of photos lately.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never really liked Big Mig. Looks great on the bike, had an enormous motor, quiet and dominate. Just no panache. Even the two douche- nozzles, Pharmmy and Clenbutador, attack(ed), mixed it up a bit.

Who needs to attack?
Collin says:

Aug 29 2011 at 7:32 pm

@brett
The nonchalance of the legssassination Big Mig delivers to the entire peloton is truly terrifying. His stroke and body make the effort so effortless. I can imagine him saying to the Lampre rider he overtakes, and then causes to blowup, "Oh, you're racing? I was just out for a spin up this here mountain. Buy you an expresso at the top."